Dating plays a vital role in creating long-term relationships. After all, dating is a great opportunity to get to know someone new and see if you’re a good fit together.
Before you start dating, consider if you are ready for a relationship. Just because you want a relationship, doesn’t mean you’re ready for one.
Ask yourself: “Am I ready for a relationship?”
Make sure you know what you’re looking for in a potential partner and that you’ve resolved or healed from past relationships.
So, if you’re ready to start dating effectively, we suggest you work with a PIVOT advocate to complete our dating module called Dating with a Purpose! As a starting point as you consider finding the right person for a healthy relationship, the following dating tips will help you get started.
10 essential dating tips to create healthy relationships
1) Choose the right place to meet
To be able to communicate easily and hear all the details of the conversation you want to meet in a quiet, neutral location that is close to both of you.
Ideally, the place you choose should be away from noisy bars and distractions… and away from your work and home.
2) Stay focused on the other person and put away your phone
Stay focused and be attentive to what your date is saying. Make sure to avoid distractions during your date.
There is nothing ruder than being glued to your phone screen during the date… being distracted by every beep, sound, and vibration. Or worse still, answering a call during the date.
Unless there is an emergency (i.e.: you need to refer to your dating tips), put away your phone and listen to your date with focus.
3) Keep the conversation balanced
Don’t monopolize the conversation by rambling about yourself. You may think you’re impressing your date but talking too much makes the other person lose interest because they feel you’re too self-involved.
Talking is about having active participation in the conversation. It’s a two-way street. Be curious, be interested and ask follow-up questions to their stories.
4) Stay in the present and be yourself
Avoid talking about the past or an ex. Instead, concentrate on finding interests you both have in common.
And don’t try to be someone you’re not. Everyone has their own strengths, uniqueness, and talents. Share yours with your date.
Spend the date finding out about each other. After you complete the Dating with a Purpose (part of the PIVOT process), you will be aware of your non-negotiables and will want to begin to ask questions to determine if there are any HUGE red flags.
5) Have a positive attitude
People are naturally attracted to happy and positive people. So, leave your worries at home when you go out on your date.
Give yourself a break and aim to feel upbeat and positive. The more positive you feel, the more attractive you will be.
6) Flirt with your date… if you are interested
Flirting is a great way to signal that you are interested in your date.
You can do simple things, such as, make eye contact, smile, be curious and ask them questions.
This will help to attract attention from your date and show them that you are interested in them.
7) Don’t have sex on the first date
Showing attraction by flirting with your date is one thing. But make sure you maintain boundaries. Don’t have sex straight away.
Allow yourself time to discover if you have similar values, outlooks and interests.
Give your date a chance to grow into a healthy relationship, rather than being a one-off sexual encounter.
8) Learn to recognize the signs of unequal attraction
90% of all communication is non-verbal, so watch the body language of your date to see if they are attracted to you. If you sense your attraction to them is not equal, then don’t force it.
If this person isn’t right for you, then save your time and energy for someone who is.
On the other hand, if you’re less interested, then don’t lead them on. Let them know politely and move on.
9) Take your time to move from dating to a relationship
Go on several dates and give yourself time to discover how you feel about your date. And how they feel about you.
Don’t rush into a relationship. Spend as much time dating and savoring it. Make sure you agree on the things that are important to you both before you start the relationship.
This will help reduce potential tension or disagreements later.
10) Follow up after the date
If you’re interested in seeing your date again, then don’t play games. Call them, text them or return their call.
Don’t make the other person guess what you want. Be honest and communicate openly. There is nothing worse than unreturned phone calls.
In summary, approach your date with respect, interest, and understanding. Be open. It’s OK to be vulnerable while not disclosing too much too soon. Be yourself. And most of all, stay true to yourself and your expectations.
These are the essential keys to creating a healthy relationship. We hope that these essential dating tips have given you some insights about healthy dating.
If you would like more advice on how to build a healthy relationship, then contact PIVOT. We’re here to help!
By: Lori Jean Glass