Author: Lori Jean Glass

Becoming romantically involved with someone new is usually a fun experience that opens up new possibilities and horizons. However, beginning a relationship also brings its own set of challenges that may put a damper on the initial excitement. 

Whether you’ve met someone on the internet and want to know if your online date is serious or wonder how you can overcome physical intimacy issues, attending a romantic relationship building skills workshop may be of immense help. And if you are looking for some quick insightful tips on starting off a relationship, keep on reading! 

How Do You Start Off A Relationship?

While there are some relationships that start off quite effortlessly and passionately, most people have their doubts and uncertainties when they meet someone new that sparks their interest. Will this work out? Do they truly like me? Am I making a mistake? These are just some of the common questions that run through people’s minds when starting a relationship.

Is The Beginning Of A Relationship The Hardest?

For many people, the blossoming of a relationship is the most beautiful part. Unfortunately, this is not the case for everyone, as many relationships start off quite turbulently. If your new relationship has had a rough start, you may be wondering if experiencing difficulties is normal in this stage and whether your relationship is likely to develop into something healthier. 

We’ll say one thing – love is not easy. Essentially, there are no rules as to how relationships should develop, and you and your partner may experience challenges that are entirely different from those of other couples. Nevertheless, here’s what people tend to struggle with the most at the start of a relationship: 

• Not knowing where you stand in the relationship  
• Overanalyzing their partner’s words and actions 
• Struggling to set healthy boundaries 
• Fear of losing independence in the relationship 
• Conflicting values 
• Problems with physical intimacy 

Is It Normal To Fight In The Beginning Of A Relationship?

If you and your new partner fight a lot, that doesn’t mean that your relationship is doomed. However, sometimes too much is simply too much, and you should know how to tell if the relationship is worth fighting for or not. Here are some types of fights that may indicate that the relationship is in trouble: 

• You argue about the nature of your relationship: if you and your partner don’t have the same idea about the relationship, you’re off to a rocky start. 
• There is a severe lack of trust: healthy relationships are based on trust and mutual respect. While lacking trust early in the relationship is often normal, there should at least be a willingness to work things through from both sides. 
• One or both of the partners are too needy: While it’s entirely natural that you’d want to spend every moment of your day with your partner during the initial stages of the relationship, excessive neediness is rarely a good sign. 

How Long Before A Relationship Is Serious?

Every relationship moves at its own pace. In fact, there are no hard rules about timelines in relationships. Some couples hit it off instantly and know where they stand after just a couple of dates, while others experience varying levels of confusion and uncertainty in this regard. 

There are several factors that may influence the timeline of your relationship and how quickly you decide to make it exclusive. Here are some positive signs that your relationship is serious: 

• You and your partner communicate honestly and consistently 
• You’ve known your partner for at least a couple of months 
• Both you and your partner are ready for an exclusive relationship 
• You can see a future with the person you’re dating 

Learn How to Attach Securely In Our Relationship Building Skills Workshop 

Are you experiencing difficulties with creating and building healthy and strong relationships? Seeking help from insightful relationship coaches may be the perfect solution. At PIVOT, we offer insightful relationship guidance to individuals and couples who struggle with relational issues. What’s more, we also offer a wide range of relationship workshops that help you overcome emotional wounds. 

No matter what your relationship struggles may be, know that you can change things for the better. Reach out to PIVOT Advocates today and start your path to happiness and peace. 

Being in a meaningful relationship means being intimate with another person. Sex and physical intimacy is one aspect of a relationship and an important one at that. It is a way to express affection and the intimacy you have on an emotional level. It deepens the connection between partners. 

But lack of sex can have a devastating effect on a couple, especially when it goes on for a longer stretch of time. No wonder that it is the lack of sex that is one of the most challenging aspects of a long-distance relationship. Let’s put it like this: people always say that sex makes things complicated, but that’s nothing compared to what it can do when it’s missing from a relationship, especially when this change happens all of a sudden. And if there is a history of abandonment or neglect in one’s past, this re-wounding can be destabilizing. 

Does Sex Change A Relationship?

Sex can certainly change a relationship (not always for the better, but that’s a whole different subject). And so can a lack of sex. 

At the beginning of your relationship, it all felt new and exciting. There was a lot you didn’t know about each other but you were eager to find out. And of course, the sex was amazing, and you two crazy kids could barely keep your hands off each other. 

But what was once as a sizzling romance can quickly turn into a routine after the honeymoon phase is over and the fiery passion is gone. In the meantime, you are getting to know this person – as a person.

It may sound counterintuitive, but your sex life and frequency of your adventures in the bedroom can start to dwindle as you grow closer to each other. It’s ironic when you think about it: you are becoming closer as a couple but the spark seems to have gone, at least in the bedroom. 

As frustrating as that may sound, it is not necessarily a bad thing: it just means that restoring the vibrant sex life you had before the end of the honeymoon phase will take some work. This, too, can be a fun and refreshing experience that you can share with your partner. However, you will both need to agree on one thing: prioritize rebuilding your sex life.

What Do You Do When Your Partner Has Different Sex Drives? 

If you are being overly into sex, so much so that your partner perceives it as a turn-off, you may notice your partner will start to exhibit certain behaviors:

• Vagueness and avoidance 
• Coming up with excuses not to spend time with you and making plans without involving you
• Being reserved and less affectionate
• Constant irritability and excessive criticism of your words and actions

You, on the other hand, may feel deeply frustrated and unhappy. But try to understand that your partner may have issues with low libido or depression.

If this happens, you need to have an open and honest conversation with your partner. This is one white elephant that’s impossible to ignore if you intend for your relationship to last. Do not pester your partner. Try not to act accusatory or aggressive. The worst you can do is nag your partner over the situation, as this only builds more pressure on the partner and puts more strain on the relationship as a whole.

The Dangers Of Disparate Sex Drives Between Partners

Sexual activity is healthy and natural. Lack of it can be detrimental to our health. But we’re not all the same and we don’t have the same sex drives. This is perfectly normal, but it becomes a problem when it happens in a relationship. 

As we’ve already established, lack of sex can cause serious relationship problems as well. When partners do not have the same needs and are unable to communicate this to each other clearly, problems may arise. For instance:

• The dissatisfaction of sexual rejection outlasts the satisfaction of having your sexual advances accepted: this may lead to a communication breakdown. Being sexually rejected by your significant other hurts all the more because we seem to perceive sexual rejection as emotional rejection.
• Rejection could have a devastating effect on your self-esteem and sense of self-worth. It could ultimately lead to depression
• Infidelity on behalf of one or both partners
• Ending your relationship

The Risks Of Overcompensating For Lack Of Sex

Let’s imagine you are the one with more enthusiasm for sex. Out of despair, you may become overly affectionate, which your partner could find suffocating. They may attempt to escape any situation in which you exhibit this type of behavior, but they will probably be careful not to broach the subject directly for fear of hurting your feelings. 

They will probably avoid the topic altogether instead of discussing it with you in a straightforward way. Before you know it, you may find yourself in a broken relationship that’s beyond repair, feeling bitter about all the time and effort you put into building it.

How Do You Overcome Physical Intimacy Issues?

Preferably, the first step is for both you and your partner to acknowledge that physical intimacy issues are there. Follow these guidelines to start working on these issues:

• Have an uninterrupted face-to-face conversation with your partner and explain what bothers you as clearly as possible. You could say things like We never have sex anymore because you keep rejecting my advances or You no longer want to share the bed or hold my hand like you used to. Consider the possibility that your partner might have been blissfully unaware of the situation.
• Be direct in expressing the emotional effect this situation has had on you. Do not be ashamed to speak about it openly. These crucial conversations are necessary.
• Try to understand your partner’s point of view, and do not get annoyed if they become defensive.
• State requests clearly and demand that you work on a solution together, discuss your options and steps clearly.
• Unlike neediness, which is unattractive to say the least, independence is hot. You don’t have to play games with your partner, but playing hard to get every now and then could do wonders for your sex life.

Learn To Overcome Intimacy Problems In A Relationship

We will use our knowledge and experience to guide you and help you understand what’s going on in your relationship so you can learn to overcome the problems with intimacy you and your partner may have. 

PIVOT is where you can start rebuilding a healthier relationship, and you can start today, whether on your own or together with your partner. We are here to guide you through individual coaching with focus on relationship problems or workshops for building healthy coping mechanisms and relationship skills. Remember, we’re in this together.

When experiencing challenges in a relationship, have you ever thought: I need to leave because I feel overwhelmed? Or perhaps: I’ll do anything to know what is going on? Or maybe: I feel stuck in this relationship and don’t know if I should stay?  

These thoughts are not uncommon. 

In fact, these thoughts identify how you relate or attach to others and are an indication of your attachment styles.

If you have been struggling to maintain stable relationships in your life, perhaps intensive love avoidance coaching would help you understand your core wounds and make lasting changes in your emotional life. Until then, keep reading to find out more about attachment. 

What Is Attachment?

Attachment is the process of one person connecting in relationship to another. In other words, attachment describes how we bond with others. 

Our sense of attachment begins with the relationship between ourselves and our primary caregivers (parents, guardians). This first relationship dictates how we bond with others in the future.

If you attach securely with your parents in your first five years of your life, then you will develop a strong foundation for positive attachment with others.

If not, then you may have a deep childhood attachment wound that impacts your current relationships.

Here’s the thing, just because you didn’t have a solid foundation in your first five years, it doesn’t mean that you can’t develop healthy adult relationships now.

The good news is that no matter what childhood experiences you’ve had, you can still create healthy relationships.

But first, it helps to recognise what attachment style you most commonly use.

What Are The Different Types Of Attachment Styles?

There are four common attachment styles, but you may not necessarily use the one style all the time. We have simplified the names of the common attachment styles to reflect the energy you bring to the relationship.  The way you engage in a relationship often depends on the other person or the situation.  

For example, you may engage differently with your boss than you would your best friend, or your spouse.

Let’s look at each of these four styles and how they show up in relationships.

Avoidant Attachment

People who experience avoidant attachment tend to live in their thoughts because they want to avoid conflict. They tend to use secretive behavior, struggle with being vulnerable, and avoid connection whenever possible.

These people don’t like to feel. They don’t believe it’s safe for them to feel because their parents didn’t allow them to feel uncomfortable feelings as a child. 

Most avoidants grew up feeling controlled. Their parents are the overprotective, “helicopter parents” – controlling their every move and not allowing them to feel bad feelings.

When these children grow up, they’re not able to engage in uncomfortable situations in their relationships – they want to avoid them.

The core wound for people in this situation is not being seen for who you are.

Anxious Attachment

Most people who attach in an anxious way often grew up experiencing neglect or abandonment. They grow up craving connection in a relationship.

Typically, anxious people feel first and then act. They don’t think about what they’re doing. 

A person who attaches anxiously may engage in high-risk behavior when they feel uncomfortable in a relationship or when they feel the threat of neglect or abandonment.

They tend to argue their point to keep the relationship intact, even when it doesn’t make sense.

An example of anxious attachment is investigating, controlling or manipulating the situation to find out what’s going on. This may include investigating on social media, doing drive-bys to make sure their partner’s home or checking their spouse’s cell phone while they’re in the shower. 

The core wound for people in this situation is feeling neglected or abandoned.

Ambivalent Attachment

Most people who attach in an ambivalent way are confused or challenged in the relationship and worry about making the wrong decision. They end up feeling stuck in close relationships.

If you attach ambivalently you find making decisions difficult, or they take a long time.

Ambivalent attachment is common. It’s a combination of the anxious and avoidant attachment styles.

An ambivalent person may plan to leave or take a break in a relationship for a long time but will wait and wait. They tend to be in a cycle of feeling intense emotions and then over-analyze them – without being able to make a decision.

Ambivalent attachment is created when a child is brought up in two different environments, which may be confusing for a child. 

This could be as a result of divorce, or if the parenting styles are very different between both parents. For example, one parent may be codependent and the other may be an addict.

The core wound for people in this situation is feeling misunderstood and not enough.

Secure Attachment

People who can attach securely have relational alignment. This means they can think, feel and act congruently and in a healthy manner.

Secure people can experience conflict, express their feelings and respond in a healthy way. They can process how they’re thinking, know and express what they’re feeling and take the appropriate action.

For them, the need to defend (anxious attachment), run away (avoidant attachment) or question everything (ambivalent attachment) is not the driving force of their relationship.

The good news, regardless of your childhood pain or trauma, you can learn to attach securely.

How To Create A Healthy Relationship

The purpose of understanding these styles is not to label yourself or others. It is to acknowledge the way you approach a relationship so you can move to create healthy connections.

It is interesting to note that these attachment styles play out in everyday life. it can be observed in many areas of your life, especially in your work life and in your relationships with your family or friends.

When you know which wound is being triggered and why, then use that awareness to start changing how you respond.

How Do You Overcome Insecure Attachment?

By understanding why you’re triggered and why you respond with an attachment style, then you can begin to create healthy relationships.

This was the case with a woman I worked with. She had adopted a rigid food plan. She weighed all her food and stuck to her plan. This made it difficult for her to go to dinner with friends. She ended up avoiding many social functions.

Over time, she had no energy left to put towards relationships, other than her relationships with food. And because she wanted to avoid what others might say about her food plan, she kept others out of her life.

Unfortunately, she was like this for 12 years before I worked with her. Her social life was compromised. She wasn’t making or maintaining new friendships. She wasn’t able to be in a close relationship. She was isolated.

When I worked with her, she finally realized she had been controlling food to feel that she had control in her life.

We discovered that during her childhood she felt she had little control over anything. By understanding why she was triggered and why she responded with avoidance, she was able to have a new relationship with food as an adult. 

This allowed her to heal her hurt and begin to enjoy other relationships.

I call this relational freedom… when you experience life and relationships from a healthy alignment and can manage and tolerate uncomfortable emotions while maintaining self-care.

It doesn’t mean that you won’t get hurt or never feel intense emotions again.

Relational freedom comes from secure relational alignment. It means that if you can think, feel and do in a healthy and congruent way, then you can attach to others in a healthy way. 

Find relational freedom with #1 love avoidance intensive coaching

The good news is that no matter what childhood experiences you’ve had, you can still create healthy relationships. If you want help to move away from old patterns and create relational alignment and freedom, then contact PIVOT. 

In addition to our intensive relationship problems coaching for individuals and effective couples coaching retreats, we also offer insightful remote coaching with PIVOT Advocates. Reach out to us today! 

Do you struggle to find and maintain healthy relationships? Do the same issues come up in different relationships, again and again? Do you find yourself attracted to the “wrong” type of person?

The good news is there is a reason for it. Whether you’re able to create a healthy relationship or not relates to how positively you bond or attach to others. This is known as attachment. 

In this article, you can discover enlightening information from a seasoned relationship coach about how childhood attachment shapes our relationships. Read on. 

How Your Attachment Style Impacts Your Relationships

The first attachment we experienced was with the relationship between ourselves and our primary caregivers (parents, guardians). This first relationship dictates how we bond with others.

If you attach securely in your first five years of life, then you will develop a strong foundation for positive attachment with others. If not, then you may have a childhood attachment wound that impacts your current relationships.

And if you do have attachment wounds or specific survival patterns that get triggered, then you’re going to struggle to form healthy attachments until you understand where the behavior comes from.

Although, becoming more aware does not lead to perfection. It will allow you to be aware of unwanted behaviors and help you to stop these patterns more regularly.

Understand Your Story Through The Lens Of Attachment

Just because you didn’t have a positive foundation in your first five years, it doesn’t mean you can’t develop healthy attachment now.

The first step is to understand your story through the lens of attachment.

For example, if a child grows up watching their parents go through a painful divorce, their experience influences their view of attachment. 

That child then typically must learn two ways of being relational in two different homes, which is a struggle. This generally leads to the child becoming ambivalent in their own relationships in the future.

On the other hand, a child who grew up feeling controlled by their parents, most likely won’t trust intimacy because they won’t feel like they can breathe. 

They will want to avoid intimacy and uncomfortable situations in their relationships because they feel that connecting to others means losing their voice and not being seen for who they are.

The Effects Of Poor Attachment In Later Life

For many individuals who grew up in a controlling environment, they may process their feelings by turning to addiction… food, sex, work, or exercise. Something that they can control and use to avoid intimacy.

And finally, if a child grew up experiencing neglect or abandonment, then they may attach anxiously, as they crave connection. They may also engage in high-risk behavior when they feel uncomfortable in a relationship or when they feel the threat of neglect or abandonment.

Regardless of your childhood pain or trauma, you can learn to have healthy attachments and healthy relationships.

What Is A Secure Attachment?

People who have healthy attachments can think, feel, and do congruently and in a healthy manner. This means they can experience conflict, express their feelings, and respond in a healthy way.

People who have a healthy attachment don’t feel the need to defend, run away, or question everything in their relationship. Instead, they feel secure.

How To Develop A Healthy Attachment Style

When you can correlate your relationship issues with your survival patterns or attachment styles, then you can take the first step to make a change for the better.

When you know which wound is being triggered and why then you can use that awareness to change how you respond.

For example, I now know that when I feel like I’m losing someone, I start to feel scared and anxious. In the past, I dealt with this by avoiding my feelings. I would quickly find a new relationship; go shopping or go out drinking.

However, by reacting in this way, I only numbed my painful feelings. It didn’t help me process or deal with the issue in my relationship.

The break-through for me came when I recognized why I did these behaviors and saw that these actions weren’t helping me.

Steps To Building Healthy Attachments

By taking these three steps, you will be able to feel, manage, and tolerate your feelings. 

The result? You will experience relational freedom. This means you’ll know what’s happening in the moment, instead of being held hostage by your past wounds. You’ll be aware of your feelings; know why you feel that way and be able to change your behavior.

Reach Out To A Relationship Coach Online & Overcome Childhood Wounds 

Relational freedom means that if you can think, feel and do in a healthy and congruent way – then you can attach to others in a healthy way. The good news is that no matter what childhood experiences you’ve had, you can create healthy relationships.

If you want help to heal from unsupportive attachments and create relational alignment and freedom, PIVOT is here for you. Our carefully designed online individual coaching and comprehensive relationship workshops and retreats can help you escape emotional numbness and center yourself. Reach out to us today! 

Finding and maintaining relationships can be challenging. But what happens when the relationship you’re in begins to look like the previous one?

Have you ever reflected on why you are attracted to the same type of person, over and over again?

Studies show that we are attracted to what is familiar as a result of our adopted childhood love styles. This means we are attracted to familiar people even if we know they may be bad for us. This is known as the familiarity principle. 

If you are struggling to maintain healthy intimate relationships or need help getting out of an addictive relationship, reaching out to a professional relationship coach online may give you the relief you seek. 

Read on to find out why you may tend to seek similar relationships in your life. 

What Is The Familiarity Principle?

We all gravitate to what’s familiar to us. That often means we are drawn to people who inadvertently cause us to feel pain repeatedly.

For example, children who were abused growing up may be drawn to abusive relationships. Why? Because they are familiar with abuse. 

This is the familiarity principle. Simply stated, we are unconsciously drawn towards what is most familiar.

How Does Your Family Shape Your Personality?

Good or bad, the environment we grew up in is the only one we’ve ever known.  That is why it’s difficult for people to leave painful relationships.

Even when their behavior is hurtful, you may find comfort in the familiarity of that behavior. Worse still, it’s hard to leave that relationship because you are bound to the past.

In my case, I was drawn to save others but not myself. This started because my dad drowned when I was an infant, and mom became an alcoholic. I failed to save her, and she died. 

So, I became codependent with my friends and family.  I started saving everyone else because it felt good. I had a purpose. But this was often at my own expense. I didn’t realize what I was doing until someone helped me see that I was codependent in my relationships.

How The Familiarity Principle Can Affect You

While you may want a do-over in life, it can often have a negative effect, unless the corrective experience is supported and healthy. Unfortunately, if you don’t choose to do better with intentionality, then you’ll end up doing something that will hurt you.

Imagine you want to get into a relationship with a person that you like. But they are clearly unavailable. However, instead of not pursuing the relationship, you’re drawn to them even more because there is something about them being unavailable that feels familiar to you.

What’s more, it’s this feeling of familiarity that makes you pursue them even harder.

However, consider this. If a repeated action prompted by old familiar feelings hasn’t worked previously, why would it work now? The truth is it won’t.

The Dangers Of The Familiarity Principle

Any action that hasn’t served you in the past may only work as temporary pain relief. And this can lead to unwanted consequences. Such as:

• Lashing out at a loved one
• Hiding your feelings from a partner
• Binge eating for three days straight
• Getting drunk again
• Running to the next fling

If you find yourself repeatedly returning to actions that haven’t served you in the past, then I encourage you to do something different. Sit with your feelings, no matter how uncomfortable they are. And take a moment to recognize why the feeling is there.

Most importantly, focus on why this situation is different from the situation in the past that gave you the original wound. 

How To Break Free From The Power Of Familiarity

The first step is to be aware of the patterns in your relationships. Identify the type of person you are attracted to. 

For example, have your past partners been controlling? Have they always told you what to do, when, where, and how? Now think back to your childhood. Was someone you grew up with controlling as well? Once you become aware, then you can break out of the old pattern.

The next step is to own your feelings. Even if they are uncomfortable, sit with your feelings. Don’t hide from them or avoid them. Acknowledge how you feel. This will help you manage and tolerate uncomfortable feelings and start to heal past wounds.

The final step is to process the pain and live in relational freedom. This is where you can heal yourself without hurting people around you. 

How Do You Deal With Painful Relationships?  

Today, when a relationship or friendship ends, I sit with my feelings. And I know that whatever is happening is not because my dad drowned, or my mom died. I know the person is leaving because they want to, need to, or because they have their own wounds to heal.

It doesn’t mean that you won’t sometimes hurt like hell. It doesn’t mean you won’t feel intense, uncontrollable feelings again. It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try to repair the relationship if it is worth saving.

If you choose the second option, then you can start to heal and experience relational freedom. This will help you have healthy relationships with yourself and others because you are worthy of love, happiness, and a healthy relationship. 

Find Freedom With The Help Of A Remote Relationship Coach

Moving away from familiar patterns and healing wounds is a lengthy and often challenging process. That’s why we recommend that you seek support from professionals. At PIVOT, we offer expertise-based online relationship coaching for individuals and couples, as well as transformative relationship building-skills workshops and retreats. 

If you are ready to create meaningful connections and overcome feeling emotional numbness, then contact PIVOT today and find balance in your emotional life. 

Even if you deeply care about your partner and work hard to make things work, there’s no guarantee that your relationship will last forever. Learning to accept that it’s entirely normal to grow apart from your partner, especially if you have to maintain a long-distance relationship, can be extremely difficult. 

Still, sometimes it’s better to let things go than to go on pretending that everything is fine when it’s clearly not. In fact, staying in a broken relationship for far too long can cause emotional harm to both you and your partner. If you have attended a relationship building skills workshop but can’t seem to work things out, it may be time to consider parting ways, no matter how hard it may seem to be. 

How Do You Know When A Relationship Is Over?

It’s rarely easy to tell if a relationship is coming to a close. However, there are several telltale signs that indicate that something is not right in the relationship, and they may be right in front of you. 

Signs That A Relationship Is Over

While no two relationships are the same, many failing relationships share the following symptoms: 

• Your communication has taken a turn for the worse. Healthy communication is a crucial aspect of any relationship. If you and your partner no longer talk about the things that matter to you and don’t even argue anymore, the interest may have worn off. 
• Your sex life is no longer as exciting. While it is normal for physical intimacy to wane a little bit after the initial excitement at the start of your relationship, a significant decline in physical intimacy may indicate that your relationship is drawing to a close. 
• You feel bored with your relationship. Boredom is one of the most common reasons for breakups. If you feel bored in your relationship, and even outside of it, you may no longer be in the right place with your partner. 
• One or both of you have become emotionally intimate with someone else.  Having close friends is one thing, but becoming increasingly emotionally intimate with a colleague or friend and spending more time with them than with your partner is a completely different story. 
• You don’t plan for the future. A lasting relationship includes future planning and a willingness to commit long-term. If you or your partner avoid talking about the future entirely, it may be time to say goodbye. 
• You avoid spending time with each other. When two people care about each other, they want to spend as much time together as possible. Your relationship may be in trouble if you keep avoiding quality time together. 

How Do I Accept A Broken Relationship?

We understand how difficult it can be to acknowledge these warning signs. However, if you keep sweeping the issues under the rug, it’s highly unlikely that your relationship will improve. Accepting the fact that your relationship is broken, saying goodbye, and starting the healing process may be the best solution to your problems. If you can’t leave – doing work with a relationship coach on your attachment challenges would be suggested.

How Do You Get Over Someone You Love Deeply?

Although your relationship may be over, it is perfectly normal to still care deeply about your ex-partner. If you can’t seem to let go of your past relationship and move on, try the following tips: 

• Don’t rush yourself: there’s no time limit to getting over someone who used to be a major part of your life. Try not to pressure yourself to move on with your life after your breakup, and enter a new relationship only if you feel like you are truly ready. 
• Let the emotions run their course: there’s no point in escaping the deep sadness that typically comes with breakups. Instead, allow yourself to grieve for as long as you need to. The feelings will go away eventually and you will feel happiness again. 
• Write down your feelings: journaling is a great way to keep track of your thoughts and emotions and analyze them. Jot down how you feel, read what you wrote, keep it, or throw it away. You’d be amazed at how helpful writing can be for clearing your thoughts.  
• Cut off all contact if possible: if you still talk to your ex but don’t plan on getting back together, you’re only doing both of you a disservice. Try to keep communication to a minimum or cut it off completely. 
• Focus on loving yourself: make it a habit to spend regular quality time by yourself. Indulge in self-care and focus on achieving your personal goals. This will not only help you get over your ex, but it will also build a stronger foundation for future relationships.  
• Seek professional help: talking to a knowledgeable relationship coach can help you understand and accept your emotions in order to heal the wounds and work on building healthier relationships. 

Attend A Couple Relationship Management Workshop & Create Healthier Attachments 

Whether you are trying to move on after a breakup or want to make sure your current relationship lasts, don’t hesitate to seek assistance from professionals. At PIVOT, we work with insightful online coaches to help individuals find happiness and fulfillment in their lives. 

We offer professional coaching sessions for individuals struggling with relationship problems, and also provide guidance through carefully devised relationship workshops. Our PIVOT Advocates will help you heal by facilitating lasting behavioral change and allowing you to experience relational freedom. Reach out to us today.