Am I Too Needy? How To Gain Independence In A Relationship

Being infatuated with your partner at the start of a relationship is perfectly natural. What’s more, you may still be equally crazy about your partner years after you first started dating. And that’s great, too. However, being too dependent on your partner for your own happiness and clinging to them every hour of every day may indicate that your relationship may not be as healthy as you would like it to be.

If you need help changing your ways and working things through with your partner, consider attending a couple workshop for deepening your relationship. Professional insights may help you gain a better understanding of your attachment styles and allow you to overcome your emotional neediness. 

If you suspect that you may be too needy with your partner, you should first understand why that may be. Read on. 

How Do You Know If You’re Being Too Needy?

How Do You Know If You're Being Too Needy?

Unfortunately, not all people were raised in a warm and loving environment which encouraged forming secure attachments. We all need emotional support, especially when times get tough, but individuals who have an anxious attachment style may struggle more than others in this regard and are often seen as overly needy. If you suspect that you may be too emotionally dependent on your partner, look out for the following signs:  

  • You ignore your own needs and focus on making your partner happy as a way of filling the emotional gap inside you. 
  • You fear that your partner may not love you as much as you love them and constantly seek reassurance
  • You need your partner to make you feel safe, secure and appreciated. When you’re alone, you feel worthless. 
  • You are overly sensitive to criticism and have low self-esteem. 
  • You are extremely jealous and afraid of losing your partner to someone else.  
  • You stalk your partner on social media looking for indications of infidelity. 
  • You fear that your relationship will fall apart at any moment. 

These behaviors can make your partner feel smothered and emotionally exhausted. While you may not be able to easily control your needy impulses, understanding why you are the way you are may help you keep things in check. 

What Makes A Person Emotionally Needy?

Children need emotional support and love to grow into healthy and happy individuals. If your parent or caregiver was inconsistent with nurturing and affection while you were a child, you may have developed a tendency to seek the support you haven’t received back then in your relationships. A lack of emotional support in childhood may lead to fear, anxiety, and neediness later in life. 

Extreme stress, health concerns, and other unfortunate circumstances may also increase your neediness toward your partner. If that’s the case, you should practice patience with your partner and consider seeking help from a professional relationship coach. 

What Does It Mean To Be Independent In A Relationship?

Having a loving and supportive partner is a wonderful thing. If you are in a happy relationship, it’s only natural that you would want to spend each moment with your partner, being both physically and emotionally intimate. However, your partner should not be your sole source of happiness, love, and entertainment. After all, you are your own person, and your partner is an independent individual as well. 

Having your own interests and hobbies apart from your partner doesn’t mean that you don’t care about them. The same goes for your partner. No matter how much they love you, they may still want to spend time with their friends or family, work on their own goals, or simply have some time to themselves. That doesn’t mean that they don’t appreciate and love you. 

How Do You Become Independent In A Relationship?

If you feel like you are overly dependent on your partner and are willing to work gaining independence, know that change is possible. The following tips may help you on your path: 

  1. Learn to recognize and accept your feelings.

    If you feel a certain way, you shouldn’t try and ignore or suppress your emotions. Instead, take time to understand yourself and write down your feelings to see if that helps.

  2. Have your own hobbies and interests.

    Find an activity that interests you and gives you an opportunity to spend time away from your partner, whether it’s going to the gym, taking up a drawing class, or starting your own business.

  3. Work on loving yourself.

    We can’t stress this enough. You first need to learn how to love and appreciate yourself for who you are before you can love someone else. You are worthy, lovable, and interesting – make sure you understand that.

  4. Spend time with other people.

    Instead of being with your partner all the time, reach out to your friends, and work on deepening your relationship with them. Have new experiences, meet new people, and have fun. Your partner won’t mind if they truly care about you. 

  5. Focus on tending to your own needs.

    Emotionally needy people often go out of their way to fulfill their partner’s needs while completely ignoring their own. If that sounds like you, make sure to recognize and work on your own wishes and desires. 

  6. Find support outside of your relationship.

    Whether it’s a friend, family member, or a professional coach, sharing your feelings and thoughts with another person apart from your partner can be of immense benefit to gaining independence and finding happiness.

Where Can I Find Intensive Codependency Workshops Near Me? 

What Makes A Person Emotionally Needy?

Building strong and healthy relationships is necessary for good mental health and overall wellbeing. Whether you feel like you are pushing the people in your life away or need help starting a new relationship online, seeking help from a professional relationship coach can be highly beneficial. 

PIVOT is your trusted partner whenever you need advice and guidance in your emotional life. Our individual coaching can help you find happiness, while our intensive workshops may be the key to overcoming codependency in your relationship. No matter what your relationship struggles may be, we are here to help. Give us a call! 

Insightful Tips On Getting Over A Broken Relationship

Even if you deeply care about your partner and work hard to make things work, there’s no guarantee that your relationship will last forever. Learning to accept that it’s entirely normal to grow apart from your partner, especially if you have to maintain a long-distance relationship, can be extremely difficult. 

Still, sometimes it’s better to let things go than to go on pretending that everything is fine when it’s clearly not. In fact, staying in a broken relationship for far too long can cause emotional harm to both you and your partner. If you have attended a relationship building skills workshop but can’t seem to work things out, it may be time to consider parting ways, no matter how hard it may seem to be. 

How Do You Know When A Relationship Is Over?

It’s rarely easy to tell if a relationship is coming to a close. However, there are several telltale signs that indicate that something is not right in the relationship, and they may be right in front of you. 

Signs That A Relationship Is Over

How Do I Accept A Broken Relationship?

While no two relationships are the same, many failing relationships share the following symptoms: 

  • Your communication has taken a turn for the worse. Healthy communication is a crucial aspect of any relationship. If you and your partner no longer talk about the things that matter to you and don’t even argue anymore, the interest may have worn off. 
  • Your sex life is no longer as exciting. While it is normal for physical intimacy to wane a little bit after the initial excitement at the start of your relationship, a significant decline in physical intimacy may indicate that your relationship is drawing to a close. 
  • You feel bored with your relationship. Boredom is one of the most common reasons for breakups. If you feel bored in your relationship, and even outside of it, you may no longer be in the right place with your partner. 
  • One or both of you have become emotionally intimate with someone else.  Having close friends is one thing, but becoming increasingly emotionally intimate with a colleague or friend and spending more time with them than with your partner is a completely different story. 
  • You don’t plan for the future. A lasting relationship includes future planning and a willingness to commit long-term. If you or your partner avoid talking about the future entirely, it may be time to say goodbye. 
  • You avoid spending time with each other. When two people care about each other, they want to spend as much time together as possible. Your relationship may be in trouble if you keep avoiding quality time together. 

How Do I Accept A Broken Relationship?

We understand how difficult it can be to acknowledge these warning signs. However, if you keep sweeping the issues under the rug, it’s highly unlikely that your relationship will improve. Accepting the fact that your relationship is broken, saying goodbye, and starting the healing process may be the best solution to your problems. If you can’t leave – doing work with a relationship coach on your attachment challenges would be suggested.

Don’t Ignore The Pain 

Breaking up with a long-term partner is rarely as simple as saying goodbye and moving on immediately. Essentially, you are leaving an important part of your life behind which is bound to make you feel sad, hurt, and lost. Don’t ignore these feelings, but embrace them and let yourself experience the full range of emotions. 

Take Time To Heal

Don’t expect to move on with your life overnight if you’ve parted ways with your long-term partner. Similarly, you shouldn’t beat yourself up if you can’t get over them even after some time has passed. Healing takes time, allow yourself to feel what you need to feel for however long it takes. 

Look Forward To New Beginnings

While a breakup may put an end to one aspect of your life, it may open doors to new experiences and beginnings. Let new people into your life when you’re ready and embrace the changes as they come, without pressure or hurry.

How Do You Get Over Someone You Love Deeply?

Although your relationship may be over, it is perfectly normal to still care deeply about your ex-partner. If you can’t seem to let go of your past relationship and move on, try the following tips: 

  • Don’t rush yourself: there’s no time limit to getting over someone who used to be a major part of your life. Try not to pressure yourself to move on with your life after your breakup, and enter a new relationship only if you feel like you are truly ready. 
  • Let the emotions run their course: there’s no point in escaping the deep sadness that typically comes with breakups. Instead, allow yourself to grieve for as long as you need to. The feelings will go away eventually and you will feel happiness again. 
  • Write down your feelings: journaling is a great way to keep track of your thoughts and emotions and analyze them. Jot down how you feel, read what you wrote, keep it, or throw it away. You’d be amazed at how helpful writing can be for clearing your thoughts.  
  • Cut off all contact if possible: if you still talk to your ex but don’t plan on getting back together, you’re only doing both of you a disservice. Try to keep communication to a minimum or cut it off completely. 
  • Focus on loving yourself: make it a habit to spend regular quality time by yourself. Indulge in self-care and focus on achieving your personal goals. This will not only help you get over your ex, but it will also build a stronger foundation for future relationships.  
  • Seek professional help: talking to a knowledgeable relationship coach can help you understand and accept your emotions in order to heal the wounds and work on building healthier relationships. 

Attend A Couple Relationship Management Workshop & Create Healthier Attachments 

How Do You Get Over Someone You Love Deeply?

Whether you are trying to move on after a breakup or want to make sure your current relationship lasts, don’t hesitate to seek assistance from professionals. At PIVOT, we work with insightful online coaches to help individuals find happiness and fulfillment in their lives. 

We offer professional coaching sessions for individuals struggling with relationship problems, and also provide guidance through carefully devised relationship workshops. Our PIVOT Advocates will help you heal by facilitating lasting behavioral change and allowing you to experience relational freedom. Reach out to us today. 

The Common Rules Of Online Dating

Navigating the online dating world carries its own set of unique challenges. While the internet allows us to meet different people from all over the world, it’s not always easy to determine if the person you’ve met is the right person to start a relationship with

Whether you are single and looking for a partner online or want to make your existing long-distance relationship work, you should know what to look out for when maintaining an online relationship if you want to avoid disappointment and pain. 

If you need help finding happiness in your online relationships, don’t hesitate to contact a relationship coach. Professional insight can allow you to see your relationship from a different perspective and help you overcome any problems that may arise. Keep reading to learn all about online dating! 

What Are The Dos And Don’ts Of Online Dating?

What Are The Dos And Don'ts Of Online Dating?

While not everyone will have the same online dating experience, there are some things you generally should and shouldn’t do if you wish to find a suitable partner online. Here is a rundown of the most important dos and don’t of online dating. 

Do: 

  • Talk to your potential partner for as long as you can via messages in order to get to know them. Don’t rush to meet them in person if you aren’t sure if you want to take things further. 
  • Be cautious when meeting your online date in real life. Make sure to tell somebody that you are meeting them and make sure to choose a public place for your first date. 
  • Keep an open mind. Online dating is about meeting new, different people. Try not to be fixated on finding the perfect person or talking only to people who are “your type”. 
  • Be ready for disappointment. You may start talking to someone you really like and feel like things are going great, only to find out that they don’t feel the same way. Don’t let that get you down. 
  • Be true to yourself. Presenting yourself in a dishonest way online may lead to problems. Be honest with yourself and your dates about who you are and what you want. 

Don’t: 

  • Expect too much from your online date. Just because you feel good about them doesn’t mean that the relationship will work out. Take things slow and get to know your date before rushing into things. 
  • Share your personal information. No matter how close you get with someone online, don’t ever give out your private information. There are many scammers online who use clever manipulation tactics to reach their goals.  
  • Don’t meet your date if your gut instinct tells you not to. If you feel suspicious about your online date, don’t force yourself to meet them. If it feels wrong, it probably is. 
  • Have too much to drink: having one or two drinks is perfectly fine if you feel nervous during the first date. Make sure not to go overboard with alcohol as it may make you an easy target. 

What Are Red Flags With Online Dating?

Unfortunately, there are many dishonest and even dangerous people on the internet. If you want to stay safe and find a date worth your time and energy, you should know what to look out for when browsing online profiles. Here are some tips to help you:

  • They talk only about themselves: if their conversations revolve around the pronouns “me” and “I”, they may have a narcissistic personality. 
  • They claim they are not a “player”: if your date says they don’t play games, the reverse may be the case. 
  • They have a controlling attitude: stay away from people who use aggressive language or seem to be too needy, clingy, and controlling right off the bat. 
  • They are inconsistent: if your date stops texting you for long periods of time or make multiple excuses for not meeting you, there’s a chance that they may be in a relationship. 
  • They ask for nude photos immediately: If you’ve started talking to someone recently, and they start sending or requesting risque images, leave immediately. 
  • They ask for money: this is a major red flag. Even if your date has an elaborate or heartbreaking story don’t give them money as they are most likely a scammer. 

How Do I Know If My Online Date Is Serious?

While it’s true that you may have to go through several unfulfilling encounters, it is entirely possible that you will find someone who is serious about starting a healthy relationship. If you can’t tell if your date is on the same page as you, look for the following signs: 

Consistency 

If the person you’re talking to doesn’t leave you hanging and sets time aside to talk to you on a regular basis, it may indicate that they are interested in you enough to take things to the next level. 

Honesty 

A person who is not afraid to show vulnerability and clearly state their wishes and needs is probably emotionally mature and ready to build a relationship based on intimacy and trust. If your instincts tell you that your date is genuine, they probably are. 

Equal Expectations

Both you and your potential partner should want the same things from a relationship. Of course, no two persons can agree on absolutely everything, but if you feel that you are on the same page in terms of your expectations, that is definitely a good sign.

Reach Out To A Remote Relationship Coach Today 

What Are Red Flags With Online Dating?

Are you tired of always dating the same type of people? Are you struggling to build a relationship based on both physical and emotional intimacy? You are not alone. Our knowledgeable online PIVOT coaches are here to help you find the emotional balance you seek. 

At PIVOT, we strive to guide couples and individuals toward creating healthier, happier relationships. We offer expert individual coaching for relationship problems, as well as a wide variety of relationship building skills workshops. No matter what your emotional struggles may be, you can rely on our insightful coaches for professional support and guidance. Contact PIVOT today! 

Maintaining A Long Distance Relationship: Is It Possible?

Many modern relationships, if not most of them, start on the internet. While online dating and relationships weren’t always as popular as they are today, they have become increasingly common, especially in the present circumstances when many of us are unable to be close to the people we care about. 

If you need help recognizing red flags of online dating, seeking advice from a remote relationship coach may be exactly what you need. Read on to discover expert insights about maintaining online and long-distance relationships. 

Can Online Relationships Work?

Can Online Relationships Work?

Despite the exceptional popularity of online dating, many people still wonder whether such relationships can actually be worthwhile. Just like any other relationship, being close to someone online comes with its own set of problems and challenges.

If two people are committed to each other and willing to work on the relationship, then physical distance won’t present an insurmountable challenge. With dedication and trust, you and your partner can keep your long-distance relationship happy and healthy. Nevertheless, there’s no denying that maintaining intimacy online is hard work, and not all couples are equally willing or capable to commit to such a relationship. 

Can Distance Kill A Relationship?

While remote relationships can definitely work if the commitment is there, that doesn’t mean that things can’t go wrong. Here are some negative aspects of long-distance dating: 

  • Physical intimacy may be a problem. While emotional intimacy is a crucial part of any relationship, being physically intimate has its own role to play. If you and your partner are unable to work on that aspect, you may start to harbor feelings of bitterness and dissatisfaction. 
  • Your partner may not be as committed as you are. Not all relationships are equal. While you may be ready to go to great lengths to make things work, your partner may not feel the same. If you suspect that may be the case, speak with your partner openly. 
  • Your social life might suffer. If you can’t spend enough time with your friends because of the obligations that your long-distance relationship entails, you may start to feel bitter and resentful towards your partner. 
  • Communication can feel like a burden. As time goes on, you and your partner may not be as willing to speak to each other as much as you used to. If you don’t feel like talking to them every day, it’s possible that some of the attraction has faded. 
  • Growing apart is a possibility. Different circumstances can lead you and your partner in different directions, and that’s completely normal. You shouldn’t feel obligated to stay if you start to feel like your relationship is coming to an end

What Should You Not Do In A Long-Distance Relationship?

Avoiding relationship pitfalls can be a challenging task if you are trying to keep things fresh remotely. If you care about your partner, make sure to avoid the following: 

  • Don’t let your long-distance relationship be the sole focus of your life. 
  • Don’t run away from arguments and try to be vulnerable. 
  • Don’t lie to your partner and keep secrets. 
  • Don’t pretend like everything is fine if you feel like it isn’t deep down. 
  • Don’t make your partner feel bad about having a social life. 
  • Don’t be too emotionally needy and clingy
  • Don’t let your partner control your daily life. 
  • Don’t assume that you and your partner have the same expectations. 

Of course, not all relationships are the same, and you and your partner may encounter wildly different issues than another couple would in your circumstances. Either way, you should make sure that both of you are on the same page in terms of your relationship expectations. If you can’t tell if your relationship is worth fighting for, then consulting professionals may be a good course of action. 

How Do You Keep A Long Distance Relationship Going?

While it may not be easy, keeping your long distance relationship happy is far from impossible. It’s true that you will have to put in a bit extra effort into making it work, but if you and your partner are a good match, your relationship is likely to last. Here’s what you can do to increase your chances: 

  1. Communicate

    We can’t stress the importance of healthy communication enough. It is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship and becomes even more essential if you and your partner can’t meet up face to face. 

  2. Be honest

    Without trust, your long distance relationship will be more likely to crumble. Make an effort to be open with your partner and let them know about any concerns you may have. There’s no room for secrets if you want to build your relationship on trust. 

  3. Set healthy boundaries

    Having realistic expectations is important in any relationship, but gains even more significance if you’re trying to make things work long-distance. Make sure that both of you feel comfortable in the relationship.

  4. Have online dates

    There are numerous ways in which you and your partner can spark things up online. Video calls and regular texting can go a long way in terms of building and maintaining intimacy. 

Seek Guidance From A PIVOT Relationship Coach Online 

How to Keep a Long Distance Relationship Going

Relationships can be a source of great happiness and deep despair. No matter your circumstances, know that you are not alone and that you deserve to be happy and fulfilled in your relationships. Whether you are starting a new relationship online or trying to keep your long-distance relationship fresh, our insightful PIVOT Advocates would be happy to share expert advice and guidance. 

At PIVOT, you can find solutions to your relationship problems via in-depth remote relationship coaching for individuals or one of our expertly devised relationship workshops and retreats. It is our mission to help couples and individuals overcome their struggles and heal emotional wounds through valuable insights based on experience and expertise. 

Our relationship coaches are knowledgeable, friendly, and always willing to help. Contact PIVOT today and find satisfaction and happiness in your relationship. We are here to help. 

The Dangers of Living With Loneliness

We all feel lonely from time to time, that’s just a part of life. In fact, loneliness is a universal emotion that is expressed in a unique and complex way in each individual. 

While loneliness is an integral aspect of being human, prolonged isolation can lead to serious consequences for your mental and physical health if left untreated. If you feel alone, whether you are literally isolated or have an emotionally distant partner, know that your feelings are valid and that you don’t have to bear this burden alone. Sharing your thoughts and feelings with a relationship coach may give you the solace you seek and help you overcome your loneliness. 

Keep reading to learn more about loneliness and discover ways of coping with feelings of isolation. 

How Do I Know If I Am Lonely?

Loneliness manifests itself in a myriad of ways. Even the individuals who seem sociable, energetic, and outgoing can be struggling with loneliness, although they may not necessarily be aware of it. What’s more, some people can be chronically lonely for years before they recognize the problem. 

What Are The Effects Of Loneliness?

If you aren’t sure if your feelings of loneliness are just a fleeting phase or something more severe, look for the following symptoms: 

  • Your relationships stop at surface-level intimacy. Even if you do have family and friends in your life, you struggle with building deep, intimate relationships with them. You may not feel fulfilled in your relationships or fear showing your vulnerability in front of others. 
  • You feel like your friends don’t truly understand you. You see your friends more as acquaintances than real, intimate friends. You don’t feel comfortable opening up and sharing your deepest feelings and thoughts for fear of rejection and abandonment. 
  • You feel isolated even when surrounded by people. If you experience an overwhelming sense of alienation even when you are with lots of familiar people, you may be dealing with chronic loneliness. 
  • You constantly experience feelings of low self-worth. Chronic loneliness can result in long-term self-doubt and constant negative talk. It can significantly decrease your self-esteem and leave you feeling inadequate, unworthy, and insecure.
  • You feel drained after engaging in social interactions. Feeling exhausted or burnt out after being with friends for prolonged periods of time is another sign of chronic loneliness you should look out for. 
  • You don’t have the right emotional support network. If you don’t feel like you can confide in your friends and family because you feel like they won’t care or understand, it’s possible that you simply don’t have the right kind of people in your life. 

Can You Be Lonely But Not Alone?

Absolutely. Being in a group of friends doesn’t eliminate feelings of loneliness, especially if you’re surrounded by the wrong people. However, even if you have caring and loving friends, you may still feel disconnected and isolated if you’ve struggled with chronic loneliness for a while. 

Feeling utterly alone when you are with friends can be a frightening feeling. You may feel confused about your emotions and even try to project your own fears on others, convincing yourself that your friends don’t care about you or understand you but refusing to show your vulnerability and connect with them on a deeper level. 

What Are The Effects Of Loneliness?

Loneliness can affect both your mental and physical health. Prolonged isolation without a good support network can change the way you see yourself and other people, lower your self-esteem, and even affect your brain health. Rumination and negative thoughts can spiral out into a vicious circle, deepening your sense of disconnection and alienation. 

What Loneliness Can Do To A Person

Without proper support and assistance, loneliness can severely decrease the quality of your life. Here are some common consequences of experiencing chronic loneliness: 

  • Increased cortisol levels;
  • Weight gain and weight loss; 
  • Problems with logical thinking and concentration; 
  • Severe antisocial behavior; 
  • Substance abuse; 
  • Sleep disturbances; 
  • Altered brain function; 
  • Increased risks of heart disease, diabetes, and high blood pressure; 
  • Increased risk of developing dementia and Alzheimer’s; 
  • Deep feelings of depression and anxiety; 
  • Suicidal thoughts; 

If you are overwhelmed with feelings of loneliness, don’t wait for the problem to get worse. You can reach out and break your bubble, no matter how difficult it may seem right now. Professional coaches can help you heal your relational wounds and enable you to recognize the parts of yourself that make you special, worthy, and lovable. All you have to do is take that first step. 

How To Deal With Loneliness

Living with loneliness is hard, but it doesn’t have to last forever. Here are some tips for overcoming loneliness: 

  1. Accept that loneliness is a universal human emotion.

    Understanding that numerous other people feel the same way you do can make you feel more at ease and encourage you to step out of your bubble.

  2. Notice and combat your negative talk.

    Your lonely feelings are just that – feelings. They are not facts. Don’t allow the negative voice in your head to convince you that you are not lovable, worthy, or fascinating enough.

  3. Focus on other people.

    Shifting your attention to the people in your life can help you overcome feelings of loneliness. If you have a partner or good friends, try and show genuine interest in them and help with their emotional struggles. 

  4. Seek out people who share your interests.

    If you feel like your friends and family members don’t understand you, maybe you just haven’t found your tribe yet. Find communities or individuals who like the same things you do and make an effort to connect.

  5. Don’t expect too much from others.

    Idealizing a friend or a partner can only deepen your loneliness if you’re not careful. Nobody is perfect and you shouldn’t expect them to always meet your expectations and fill the hole inside you – only you can do that.

  6. Reach out and seek support.

    You don’t have to suffer alone. Instead, contact a professional coach who can help you explore your emotions and learn effective methods for overcoming loneliness.

Find A Relationship Coach Online And Fight Loneliness 

How To Deal With Loneliness

Whether you live alone or can’t find support in an unequal relationship, you can find happiness and create deep bonds in your life. All you need is a little push. Let our online PIVOT Advocates help you overcome emotional numbness and loneliness by providing expert guidance and support. 

PIVOT is here for you, whether you wish to learn how to create healthier relationships through our intensive retreats or find emotional support via relationship coaching for individuals and couples. You deserve to find balance and meaning in your life. Reach out to PIVOT coaches today! 

What If There Is No Emotional Support In A Relationship?

Establishing a deep, meaningful relationship with your partner, as well as other important people in your life, is what contributes to your mental health and well-being. In a healthy relationship, you’re able to connect with the other person, understand them on a deeper level, and both give and receive emotional support. 

In fact, emotional support is an essential aspect of a healthy relationship. It not only brings partners closer together, but also gives them the strength to overcome numerous challenges in their relationship and life in general.

This is why the lack of emotional support can be detrimental to both a relationship and a person’s mental health. Whether due to emotional intimacy issues and emotional distance in a relationship or feeling that you’re in an unequal relationship, some individuals may find it difficult to open up emotionally and provide their partners with the emotional support they need. 

What Is Emotional Support In A Relationship?

How Important Is Emotional Support In A Relationship

What does emotional support actually entail in a relationship? Is it simply encouraging someone to go after their personal goals or listening to them? While these are important aspects of emotional support, it also entails the feelings of compassion, empathy, encouragement, acceptance, and concern for your partner. 

In meaningful relationships, emotional support is offered from both individuals and brings them closer to each other. It also helps you establish a foundation for your future together. Additionally, the practice of offering emotional support provides a foundation for being able to resolve conflict kindly, see your partner from a place of reality, and attach securely to one another.

How Important Is Emotional Support In A Relationship?

Giving and receiving emotional support benefits both your relationship and you individually. 

  • It deepens your relationship. Being in a supportive relationship brings you closer to your partner and helps you establish a deeper level of intimacy and trust. Knowing that you can rely on your partner and give each other support and compassion will also help you overcome challenges in your relationship in a healthy way. 
  • It contributes to your mental health. Having emotional support from the people who matter to you the most means that you feel loved, cared for, and accepted for who you are. On the other hand, it’s not uncommon for people who lack emotional support to feel undeserving of love, believing that they are the reason behind this, which further reflects on their self-esteem. 
  • It helps you overcome serious problems. As an important aspect of mental health, emotional support plays a crucial role in overcoming serious problems in life. Having a partner and family members who support you can help you deal with immense grief in your life or be an effective way to relieve stress and anxiety
  • It helps you achieve your personal goals. Emotional support can also encourage you to go after your personal goals and work on yourself. If you lack emotional support, you can also lack confidence and determination to go after what you want and need. An emotionally supportive partner will believe in you even when you don’t believe in yourself. 

Since emotional support has such a great impact on relationships and personal growth, its lack can sabotage your every attempt to get closer to your partner. This is why many individuals decide to work on this issue through emotional support and emotional intimacy coaching where they identify the underlying problems and take steps to resolve them. 

How Do You Show Support In A Relationship?

If you believe that you haven’t been supportive enough in your relationship, you can take actual steps to change this. There are numerous ways to provide someone with emotional support, but the most important thing is to recognize the problem and work actively toward changing the negative patterns that have been sabotaging your relationship. 

Fortunately, expressing emotional support is an ability that you can grow into, especially if you believe that you have been the withholding one. 

How to emotionally support someone

How you express emotional support to your partner may greatly depend on the nature of your relationship and your personality. However, there are some common ways you can emotionally support your partner and show them that you are there for them. 

As for some specific steps you can take, here are a few suggestions that can help you deepen your relationship and enrich it with mutual feelings of emotional support. 

  1. Be more empathetic

    Empathy is a crucial part of emotional support. It allows you to put yourself in your partner’s shoes and understand their point of view. By nurturing empathy toward your partner, you will not only provide them with emotional support, but also understand them better and make your relationship stronger. 

  2. Listen to them.

    Sometimes what people need the most is to be listened to, especially at a time of emotional distress. It’s important that you learn how to listen to your partner without any judgment or criticism. You should listen just for the sake of listening and not waiting for your turn to talk. 

  3. Pay attention to your partner

    If you want to emotionally support your partner, you need to give them your undivided attention. This means putting everything else on hold, turning off your phone, and minimizing all possible distractions.

  4. Express your love and appreciation

    Saying “I love you” or making even small gestures of kindness regularly can really make your partner feel valued and supported. It’s important that you’re always loving and caring and not just when you feel that your partner might need it.

  5. Acknowledge their feelings

    Don’t try to explain to your partner why they feel the way they feel or diminish their feelings. Show that you understand them even if you don’t agree with them.

  6. Maintain physical intimacy

    Holding your partner’s hand or giving them a hug is a simple, yet effective way to strengthen and deepen your relationship.

How Do You Overcome Lack Of Support?

However, what if you’re on the receiving end? That is, what if you’re the one not receiving emotional support from your partner? While this can be highly discouraging and have a negative effect on your mental well-being, there are a few ways you can deal with this and overcome possible challenges it presents. 

  • Practice self-love and self-appreciation. If you feel that you’re too dependent on what your partner or other people in your life think of you and if you need their “approval” to do something, you should try to work on your self-esteem. Practicing self-love will help you become self-sufficient and don’t let the lack of support from others prevent your growth. 
  • Determine whether you’re with the right person. If you believe that your partner doesn’t support or value you, they may not be the right person for you. While leaving them behind may sound difficult, it may be a better option than being in a distant, withholding relationship. 
  • Try to understand your partner. If you believe that your partner doesn’t provide you with emotional support, try to determine why. Perhaps they feel insecure, afraid to open up emotionally, or hesitant because you’ve just started your relationship. Also, your partner may not have had emotional support in their life, so they don’t know how to give it. 
  • Seek professional help. If you and your partner want to overcome relationship challenges, you should consider signing up for emotional support and intimacy coaching where you will be able to address your problems and work actively on resolving them. 

Overcome Emotional Intimacy & Support Issues With PIVOT

How Do You Overcome Lack Of Support

Enrich your relationship by learning how to give and receive emotional support through the PIVOT process. Our Advocates can provide you with personalized individuals coaching guidance that will help you deal with personal issues that may be hindering your relationship. We also enable you and your partner to work together on your emotional issues by joining intensive couples’ workshops where you can make a quick, yet long-term change. Start making progress today!

What If I Love My Partner More Than They Love Me?

When you and your partner first started dating, the feelings of infatuation and excitement were so intense that even the least perceptive onlookers could testify with absolute certainty that love was in the air. But now that the honeymoon phase is over and the thrill of the new is gone, you aren’t so confident about the future of your relationship or your partner’s feelings toward you. 

The fear could be so overwhelming that you cannot even bring yourself to communicate these doubts and voice your concerns to your partner. Discussing the intimacy problems in your relationship openly would mean having to validate their existence, and that is a challenge in and of itself.

Yet the question keeps preying on your mind: does your partner love you as much as you love them? In other words: do you love your partner more than they love you? And if so, what do you do about it?

What Is An Unequal Relationship?

How Do You Know Who Loves More In A Relationship

Deep down, you can’t shake off the uneasy feeling that you are trying too hard and that they are just not that into you. Every now and then, the thought that they might not care about you as much as you care about them runs through your mind. And what if someone new comes along and they realize the things between you are not working out? The thought that your partner might decide to break up with you fills your heart with dread. 

If you feel this way but cannot pluck up the courage to talk to your partner about it, you might  want to consider a codependency intensive or a related relationship course which you can attend in privacy and from the comfort of your home. 

But first things first: what is an unequal relationship and are you in one?

An unequal relationship is one in which one partner gives more than the other one. In other words, the relationship lacks balance and equality between partners. One partner’s thoughts, feelings and needs are more important than the other one’s. They are the so-called power member.

Unequal Relationship: The Red Flags

Many of us have made the mistake of pursuing romantic interests who are unavailable at one point or another. If and when this pursuit develops into a relationship, it may be an unequal one in which one partner is taking advantage of the other, while the other partner may or may not realize it.

But what are the red flags? Any signs that signal a power and control imbalance, such as if one partner:

  • calls all the shots
  • refuses to compromise
  • doesn’t consider the wants and needs of the other person
  • has the last word

Another common sign of an unequal relationship is if one partner is expected to pay for everything in order to earn the other partner’s affection.

As we grow older, we become more mature and more aware of our choices. What we may not realize is that we can easily fall into the trap of getting involved in an unequal relationship at any point in life. Is it the end of the world? No. Is an unequal relationship healthy? No. 

But is it worth staying in and can it be fixed? It depends, but it definitely takes a lot of work. You and your partner need to be willing to learn to communicate with each other and develop a mutual understanding so that you can both be free to be who you are and grow together.

How Do You Know Who Loves More In A Relationship?

Before listing the signs that may indicate you are giving your partner more than they are giving you, let us highlight the fact that not everyone shows affection in the same way. Each person is unique and so is the way they express their feelings. Some people may appear cold and distant because they have a different way of showing how they feel but does not mean that they love you any less than you love them.

Signs That You Are Giving More Than You Are Receiving

The following may indicate that you are in an unequal relationship and that you care more about your partner than they care about you:

  1. Imbalance in the way love is expressed

    From verbal expressions of love to expressions of physical intimacy, from kind gestures and tokens of appreciation to compliments, you may be giving more than you are receiving. More often than not, you may be completely unaware of the imbalance and lack of reciprocity. Worse yet, you may choose not to notice it.

  2. Making plans and decisions without you in mind

    While you would never reach a decision or make plans concerning the future without including your partner in the process, they hardly ever think to go to you for advice or remember to include you in their own plans and decisions.

  3. Lack of interest in your personal life

    If you truly love somebody, you want to know everything about them, including their fears, worries and secrets. However, if your partner does not show interest in your personal life, it could mean that they just don’t care about you as much as you’d like.

  4. Taking you and your devotion for granted

    If your partner feels that you love them more than they love you, they will find it easy to take your love for granted because they know that you will continue to love them no matter what.
    You put more effort into the relationship: you are always the active one in the relationship and the one who is making most of the effort. You get used to having your partner act in a passive way. 

  5. They seldom spend time with you

    While you try to work your schedule around your partner’s, they seldom think to involve you in their plans. They might prioritize spending quality time with their friends and family instead of spending time with you.

Before you know it, you end up in a vicious cycle, and you might not even notice the pattern. Since you always come up with excuses for their behavior, you give them more and more room to take you for granted.

Is It True That In A Relationship One Person Loves More Than The Other?

The answer is simple and straightforward: not in a healthy relationship.

In romance, like in all other aspects of life, finding balance is a challenge. But it is not impossible. A meaningful relationship that is based on lasting, healthy love is a relationship where both partners love each other profoundly and never take each other for granted. We all deserve a relationship just like that, a relationship in which we feel safe, seen, and heard, not one in which we have to settle for anything less.

Is It OK To Love Someone More Than They Love You?

It can be hurtful and confusing to come to the realization that a person we love might not love us as much. Think long and hard whether this is something you can live with and consult a professional if you are not comfortable talking it over with your partner. 

What matters is that you fully understand that things might never change. At some point, you may become overwhelmed with negative feelings, frustrations and unfulfillment, insecurity and resentment as a result of the imbalance. Do not ignore your gut instinct and your emotions, because they will not go away and may only get worse with time.

Accepting that you love your partner more than they love you may cause you to lose your self-worth and may even lead to depression. You deserve better and more, someone to give you emotional support and stay by your side no matter what.

Where To Go From Here? Let Us Shed Light On That.

Is It OK To Love Someone More Than They Love You

If you are uncertain about the future of your relationship and need an unbiased professional with experience in emotional intimacy coaching to talk to on a deep and meaningful level, our individual coaching online sessions may be just what you need. On the other hand, if you and your partner are willing to work on your relationship and make it work, we also have online intensive workshops designed specifically for couples. Through our series of carefully planned-out online relationship courses, we can help you find a way to a more fulfilling life and a more fulfilling romance.