Author: Lori Jean Glass

Experiencing intense feelings is an integral part of being human. Our deepest feelings, whether it’s sadness, anger, or joy, power our most interesting and vivid behavior. But what if you feel empty? Is being numb the same as being emotionless? Is it even possible to be entirely emotionless? 

Feeling detached and lacking emotion can be a sign of deep emotional intimacy issues, as well as a range of medical conditions. At times, we may even choose to be emotionless for fear of succumbing to the weight and intensity of our feelings and emotions. In this article, we explore why someone would lack emotion and how one can deal with a person who is experiencing emotional blockage. Keep on reading. 

Can A Person Be Emotionless?

Have you ever felt detached and disconnected from your emotions? The answer is probably yes. You may have felt that way when you were overwhelmed with everything going on in your life, and realized at one point that you actually felt nothing. But was that really the case? Were you truly emotionless or were you just bottling up emotions? 

It is entirely normal to detach yourself from your feelings when you are stressed, overwhelmed, or anxious. This does not mean that the emotions aren’t there – you’re simply not acknowledging them, or you may be trying to analyze them objectively and not let them overcome you. 

This is known as emotional detachment, which can be a natural response to a stressful situation. However, emotional detachment can also result from trauma or abuse, as well as be a sign of several psychological conditions, including attachment and personality disorders.  

What Causes A Person To Be Emotionless?

There is a wide range of possible reasons why you may feel numb or emotionless. Here are some of the most common causes of emotional detachment: 

• Depression: Detachment is a common symptom of depression. When you’re depressed, you may feel little interest in things you used to enjoy, as well as have a sense of general apathy and indifference. 
• Anxiety: Severe anxiety can also cause you to lose touch with your emotions. Detachment can serve as a protection mechanism for your anxious feelings and thoughts. 
• Severe stress: Similarly, lacking emotion can also be a result of overwhelming stress. If you’ve had a stressful period in your life, detaching yourself from your emotions is an entirely natural response. 
• Medication: Some medication used to treat depression and anxiety can cause emotional detachment. They can affect the way in which your brain processes emotion and mood, causing confusion and apathy. 
• Abuse: Experiencing physical or emotional abuse and manipulation can cause a variety of issues, including emotional detachment. It is often easier for abuse victims to distance themselves from the experience and the emotions it has caused. 
• Underlying disorders: Emotional detachment can also be a symptom of certain psychological conditions, such as reactive attachment disorder and several personality disorders. 

Why Would Someone Hide Their Feelings?

At times, we may consciously decide to hide our feelings from others, for one reason or another. Emotional detachment, on one hand, is often a subconscious process – the individual experiencing it may not know why they lack emotion. On the other hand, you may make a conscious effort to hide or ignore your emotions. You may do so because: 

You Don’t Want To Appear Weak 

Openly showing your emotions usually means being vulnerable. It is entirely normal to fear exposing your vulnerabilities to other people, especially if you feel like they would judge you. For this reason, you may choose to hide your anger, fear, sadness, or frustration. 

You Don’t Want To Get Hurt Or Hurt Others

If you want to avoid a painful conflict or put yourself in a situation where you may be emotionally manipulated, you might choose not to react negatively and hide your feelings. You may do so because you have issues with trust or lack faith in your conflict resolution abilities. 

You Lack Confidence 

If you’ve had your feelings invalidated since a young age, it’s possible that you’ve also learned to conceal them. Your parents or caregivers may have reprimanded you for emotional outbursts, whether positive or negative, so you no longer feel confident expressing your feelings and opinions. 

How Do You Deal With An Emotionally Unavailable Relationship?

Having a loved one who is emotionally detached or unavailable can put quite a bit of strain on your relationship with them and your own mental health. Here’s what you can do to cope with an emotionally distant or unavailable person: 

• Understand the causes: try to uncover the root causes of your loved one’s emotional detachment. Are they trying to avoid a conflict? Are they struggling with depression? Determining where they’re coming from can enable you to offer better help and deal with the situation. 
• Offer support: your partner or family member may not want to show their feelings, but that doesn’t mean that they don’t need support or validation from you. Show them that you are there for them, but don’t pressure them into opening up. 
• Focus on yourself: instead of focusing all of your energy on getting your loved one to let their guard down, express your own feelings – explain to them how their emotional unavailability is affecting you without being accusatory.
• Don’t feel responsible for their feelings: while you may genuinely want to help your loved one get better and become more honest with their emotions, at the end of the day, their feelings are their own, not yours. Don’t try to manage or control them. 
• Consider professional coaching: An experienced coach can help you and your loved one build trust and deepen intimacy. A professional will use expert tactics to calmly and supportively get your loved one to speak and open up. 

Learn To Embrace Your Emotions With PIVOT Emotional Intimacy Coaching

While detaching yourself from your feelings can be quite helpful in certain situations, ignoring them for too long can have serious consequences on your mental and physical health. It can affect your relationships and hinder your ability to create strong bonds based on honesty and trust. 

Luckily, you can rely on PIVOT Coaches to offer expert support through individual coaching and provide insightful advice in our relationship workshops. If you are ready to take the first step towards an emotionally balanced life, get in touch with a PIVOT Coach today. 

Ever feel like you’re stuck in quicksand, unable to take a single step toward your goals? It’s that sinking sensation where anxiety creeps in, or worse, you feel completely frozen—like no matter how hard you try, you just can’t move forward. If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. That overwhelming, trapped feeling is something so many of us face, and it might be what’s known as emotional blockage.

Do you struggle to move forward and achieve your goals? Have you ever felt anxious or even paralyzed because of a situation in your life? If you feel like there is no way out, you may be experiencing this very barrier.

Our emotions are an essential part of our psychological makeup—they’re natural responses to both external events and our inner narrative. Yet when feelings go unprocessed or get shoved aside, they can bottle up and form a mental roadblock that blunts creativity, fogs decision-making, and saps motivation. The good news? Emotional blockages respond remarkably well to relationship-intimacy coaching exercises, mindfulness techniques, and other evidence-based psychological supports. Keep reading to learn why suppressing emotions backfires and how to clear the path forward.

What Is Emotional Blockage?

Being emotionally blocked means having an unhealthy relationship with your emotions. You may be unable to express and communicate them, or you might experience difficulties understanding why you feel the way you do. It is a defense mechanism that keeps us from coming to terms with our emotions, thinking clearly, and taking forward action. 

Emotional blockage can be quite difficult to deal with. You may be fighting hard to avoid or ignore your emotions, which instead makes them even more overpowering and pervasive. Instead of going away, your emotions will bubble up, leaving you confused, easily triggered, and prone to lashing out. What’s more, intense emotional blockage can also cause severe anxiety and depression. All of this can affect many aspects of your life, including your behavior, cognitive skills, work, friendships, and relationships. 

Signs of Emotional Blockage

Emotional / Behavioral

• Emotional numbness or feeling “flat”
• Persistent rumination over past events or mistakes
• Lingering resentment or simmering anger that resurfaces easily
• Heightened irritability over minor triggers
• Anxiety spikes in otherwise safe situations (e.g., fear of intimacy)
• Difficulty trusting or opening up to others
• Self-sabotaging habits like procrastination or perfectionism
• Avoidance of conflict at any cost
• Repetitive negative thoughts (“I’m not good enough”)
• Sense of being stuck or powerless to move forward

Physical

• Recurring tension headaches or migraines
• Tight shoulders, neck stiffness, or jaw clenching (TMJ)
• Chest tightness or chronically shallow breathing
• Gastrointestinal distress (IBS-like cramps, “nervous stomach”)
• Chronic fatigue or low energy despite adequate rest
• Insomnia or frequent 3 a.m. wake-ups
• Rapid heartbeat or palpitations in calm settings
• Lower-back pain or unexplained body aches
• Skin flare-ups (eczema, acne) when emotions spike
• Frequent colds or lowered immunity

What Causes Emotional Blockage?

Emotional blockages are typically caused by negative, traumatic, or stressful situations and events the individual is not prepared or used to dealing with. These may include: 

• Abuse and traumatic experiences 
• Death of a loved one 
• Relationship breakups or turbulences 
• Employment status changes 
• Unexpected moves or lifestyle changes 
• Diagnosis of serious medical illnesses 

You can also become emotionally blocked by positive events such as news of pregnancy, promotions, unexpected visits. In general, emotional blockage can be a natural response to a wide range of shocking events, as we need time to process the new information and the changes that may come from it. 

Is It Bad To Hold Back Your Emotions?

Choosing to bury your feelings can lead to a variety of issues, both internally and externally. If you don’t react to a stressful situation by letting out the painful emotions or at least acknowledging them, you may start to withdraw from others, react inappropriately, experience anger outbursts, or fall into apathy. Ultimately, you’ll most likely be unable to resolve your emotional, social, or professional issues unless you express and deal with your emotions. 

What Happens If You Hold In Your Emotions?

Suppressing painful emotions can lead to a range of psychological and physical stress on your body. Here are some concrete examples of how emotional blockages can affect the quality of your life: 

Addictions 

Bottling up emotions can lead to substance abuse, whether it’s with alcohol, antidepressants, or drugs. If not addressed, addictions can further worsen your emotional situation. 

Anger Issues

If you keep suppressing hurtful emotions, burying them as deep as they can go, they’ll inevitably push back at some point, pouring out in intense bursts of anger. If you notice yourself lashing out at people close to you, take a step back and think about what you may be avoiding. 

Social Problems

Withdrawing from others, lashing out, and being emotionally unavailable can negatively impact your relationships. You may distance yourself from your romantic partner, struggle to maintain some of your friendships, or fail to build strong professional relationships. 

Mental Exhaustion

When you suppress emotions, you may also suppress a memory of an event or situation that has hurt you or made you feel uncomfortable. As you can’t actually forget something on purpose, your mind will have to work extra hard to avoid thinking about the memory in question, often causing mental exhaustion.  

Migraines And Headaches

The unaddressed emotional stress can tighten your brow and forehead muscles, reducing blood flow and causing headaches and migraines. 

Decreased Lifespan 

Not dealing with your emotions can cause a number of other health issues, including stomach problems, weight gain, and even increased cancer risks. In fact, suppressing emotions may increase your chances of premature death by as much as 30 percent. 

How Do You Release Emotional Pain?

Nobody enjoys feeling sad, angry, ashamed, or humiliated. Still, not acknowledging these feelings and lying to yourself will get you nowhere, and can actually make things much worse. Here’s how you can start dealing with your emotions and working on a healthier, less stressful life:

1. Move the Body, Move the Mood
   • Just two minutes of jumping jacks, dancing, or “shaking it out” signals to your nervous system that the threat has passed, helping adrenaline complete its stress cycle.
2. Mindfulness Micro-Pause
   • Close your eyes and name five sensations (what you hear, feel, smell, see, taste). This 60-second scan grounds you so the emotion doesn’t spiral.
3. Stay With the Feeling
   • Set a timer for three minutes and let yourself fully experience sadness, anger, or guilt—cry, stretch, talk it out, or listen to a song that matches the mood. Emotions metabolize when they’re felt, not avoided.
4. Reality-Check Journaling
   • Draw a line down a page. On the left, list the upsides of the situation or person; on the right, jot the costs or painful truths. Balancing both columns pops the “all good/all bad” bias.
5. “Letter You’ll Never Send”
   • Free-write everything you wish you could say to the person or event, then shred or delete it. Expressive writing offers catharsis without real-world fallout.
6. Daily Small Win
   • Complete one doable task—organize a drawer, send a thank-you text, or finish a 10-minute workout—and celebrate it. Small successes rebuild self-esteem, reducing the need to bury feelings.
7. Gradual Exposure to Real Memories
   • Revisit a neutral photo, song, or place tied to the pain for 60 seconds, naming feelings and bodily sensations without judgment. Increase exposure time over a week to desensitize triggers.
8. Seek Professional Support
   • If emotional blockage lingers for weeks or disrupts daily life, a therapist or relationship-intimacy coach can guide you with techniques like the PIVOT process, experiential therapy, and developmental parts work.

Find Release Through Expert Relationship Intimacy Coaching

If you struggle to let out your emotions and maintain strong relationships, know that you can facilitate positive behavioral change with the right kind of help. At PIVOT, we strive to help individuals and couples understand and integrate their emotions and find relief from emotional pain. Whether you choose to try our transformative emotional coaching for individuals or attend one of our deeply insightful relationship workshops, rest assured that our PIVOT Coaches will give you the tools and resources you need to heal your emotional wounds. Contact us today.

It can be incredibly emotionally draining to deal with a dishonest partner. Yes, problems with self esteem can affect a relationship. A very codependent partner can also negatively influence the entire relationship. Jealousy can also quickly destroy relationships. However, nothing seems to be quite as damaging as experiencing dishonesty in a relationship you believed was built on trust. 

When you become aware that a partner is being dishonest, the initial gut punch can trigger any and all past traumatic events where trust was broken. Your body can experience pain, shortness of breath, and other symptoms. It’s hard to imagine however, what is true for many is the denial that one or both partners can use to cope. Even if you manage to spot dishonesty – how do you deal with it? What are the best ways to communicate with a partner who is not being truthful? How can you even think about building intimacy in a relationship if the trust has been broken?

There are techniques you can use to spot dishonesty, and there are ways to deal with the partner who is lying to you. Although it is always best to resort to professional help and consider emotional intimacy coaching, that doesn’t mean you can’t begin to help yourself.

How Does Dishonesty Affect Relationships?

Being lied to hurts, and no amount of sorrys can take the lie back. Once your partner lies to you, it seems as though a whole mountain of doubts comes crashing down on you.

But that’s, unfortunately, not all. Dishonesty can erode a relationship in many ways. Not only do you feel miserable, but, once some time passes, you will inevitably start thinking about all the other things that the betrayal has affected.

1. The trust is gone – The solid foundation for any relationship is trust. Without it, there’s little to fall back on, which is why dishonesty causes such big problems in relationships. 
2. Lying hurts – It doesn’t have to mean that the partner’s intention was to hurt you by telling a lie. Nevertheless, they did, because to find out that you’ve been lied to is never easy, and it nearly always causes emotional pain.
3. It shows disrespect – When your partner tells you the truth, no matter how difficult it may be for you to hear, they show they respect you enough to be honest with you. On the other hand, when your partner lies to you, it shows a serious lack of respect for you and your feelings.
4. Lying is selfish – When a partner is dishonest, it shows that they are not willing to take the blame for the greater good of the relationship. Instead of coming clean and accepting responsibility, they lie in order to selfishly save their grace.
5. Lies breed lies – And in two ways. For one, dishonest partners, if their actions remain unaddressed, continue to be dishonest. Also, once you notice all the lies, you will start thinking that there is no reason for you to remain honest. Always try to work things out, but do not change the characteristics of your own personality to accommodate for your partner’s flaws.

Can A Small Lie Ruin A Relationship?

Truthfulness should always be the top priority in a relationship. Even if the truth is unpleasant, difficult to deal with, or plain painful, it’s better than a lie. Lies can affect relationships in many negative ways, no matter if they’re big or small. 

For individuals who were raised in an environment that was unsafe, there can be a pattern of not using their voice that is learned. This pattern can lead to not wanting to tell the truth if the truth is going to create conflict. Later in life, one little white lie can build on more.

Even when a lie is white and harmless, you can end up feeling bad simply because of the fact that your partner lied to you. Also, there can be other issues behind every lie, waiting to rear their heads. That is why you should always think carefully before being dishonest.

What Harmless Lies Can Ruin A Relationship?

Just because you or your partner perceive a lie as harmless, it certainly doesn’t have to turn out harmless. Every lie has a great potential to be detrimental to a relationship. Here are the five most common white lies that can cause serious rifts between you and your partner:

1. “I’m fine” – If there’s something wrong, if you are angry or sad, you should let your partner know. This can lead to a serious argument that can greatly affect the current state of your relationship.
2. “My credit score is OK” – Some of the biggest fights originate because of money. Although money should not play that large a role in relationships, it does, and not being honest about potential financial struggles can leave serious consequences.
3. “I haven’t texted my ex in a long time” – Lying about your ex is certainly a quick way to ruin a relationship. If you’ve heard from your ex, be honest and tell your partner about it. No point in hiding it, as when the truth inevitably comes out, it will have a much worse effect than if you had been honest in the first place.

What Are The 5 Signs That Someone Is Lying?

Individuals who tend to be frequently dishonest tend to think they don’t have a reason to “tell” when they’re lying. There are some signs that point to the fact that the person is not telling the truth. Here are 5 signs that signal somebody is being dishonest with you – keep in mind that someone who is just simply nervous could also display these signs.  Check in with your gut to discern whether or not someone is lying or just nervous.

1. They’re touching their throat, mouth, or face – If you notice that a person is excessively touching their body while talking with you, especially if they normally don’t do that, you could be listening to a lie.
2. They’re repeating themselves – If an individual, while speaking with you, begins to inexplicably stammer or repeat words and phrases, it shows they’re not sure of what to say next. While it doesn’t necessarily mean they’re lying – perhaps they’re just nervous, if they don’t behave that way normally, it’s a red flag. 
3. They make nervous pauses – If you ask a dishonest person a question, they will normally make a pause before giving you an answer, granting themselves the time to construct a dishonest reply. 
4. They’re looking at the door – If a person is uncomfortable in any given situation, their instincts start telling them they should leave. If you notice they are looking toward the door, it might mean they are desperate to escape the uncomfortable situation of lying to you. 
5. They’re not blinking – Blinking is a reflex, so if you notice that a person is maintaining eye contact with you without blinking, it can mean that they are such avid liars that they’re actually trying to fake truthful behavior.

How Do You Deal With A Liar In A Relationship?

Join PIVOT Emotional Intimacy Coaching & Nurture Your Relationship

It’s never easy being lied to. The emotional trauma of realizing your partner was dishonest is difficult to deal with on its own, and even more so if you want to salvage the relationship. Lying can be extremely damaging, but there are relationships that come out all the stronger out of it. However, if you truly want to work on it with your partner, you should consider reaching out to an experienced relationship advocate.

At PIVOT, we know just how emotionally traumatizing dealing with dishonesty can be, which is why we organize relationship workshops and retreats, as well as individual coaching sessions alongside our team of experienced advocates. Contact us today and let the healing begin.