Day: December 14, 2020

Wanting to become a better person and partner and improve your relationship is an excellent way to show your partner how much you care about them and that you’re willing to work on your behavior. Maybe you were finding it difficult to control your emotions or, quite the opposite, you’ve become emotionally distant from your partner. 

Perhaps there has been dishonesty in the relationship on your part, which has caused your partner to become a more private person toward you. The reasons for wanting to become a better partner are many, and it is great you’re trying.

Even if you’re not managing to find the right way on your own, you can always try some healthy relationship workshop activities to modify your behavior. However, let’s first see what you can do.

What Does It Mean To Become A Better Person?

Becoming a better person is a process that sounds a bit strange, as if suggesting you’re bad to begin with, and that there are serious personality changes you have to undergo in order to improve yourself. 

However, you first have to be free of this misconception in order to start becoming a “better” person. The more adequate expression could be a better version of yourself. First, you have to be aware that:

• You are not striving to be perfect, as such a thing doesn’t exist.
• It’s not about you being bad or wrong, and you’re not a problem that needs to be fixed.

Being A Better Version Of Yourself

Becoming an improved version of yourself means that you become aware of some of your characteristics that you might be unwittingly expressing poorly, which reflects on both your loved ones and yourself.

Therefore, if you’re looking to learn what becoming a better person actually means, it entails the following:

• Being honest with yourself and allowing yourself to detect in which areas of your life you could use a little help.
• Eliminating all the negative thoughts that might be holding you back from being the best you you can be.
• Allowing yourself to become more open to new ways of thinking, and new life experiences.

So, it is not about changing the “bad” aspects of your personality, life, or way of thinking, but rather becoming a more open individual who is allowing themselves plenty of room for personal growth.

Do People Really Change?

You can frequently hear about how nobody ever actually changes, and how people retain their prominent personality characteristics no matter what. However, it is not the person that is unable to change, but rather the environment’s perception of that person. Sometimes, no matter how much individuals try to modify their behavior, those around them tend to disbelieve their efforts as genuine.

And that is the single biggest problem with the age-old question of whether or not a person ever really changes. The scrutiny of the environment and its unwillingness to accept a person who is doing their hardest to become a better version of themselves is what ultimately creates the climate of people remaining the same no matter how much their behavior changes.

However, it is entirely possible for individuals to modify their behavior in a positive way and become what they were always hoping they would. It is usually to the rest of the people in their environment to accept the change and provide the invaluable support that will show their efforts are recognized and respected.

What Are The Qualities Of A Good Partner?

Every person is looking for different personality traits in their romantic partners, so it is not possible to provide a list of the most important qualities every partner should possess. But, there are some qualities people most frequently look for when thinking about entering a romantic relationship.

How Can I Be A Better Partner In My Relationship?

Communicate openly and honestly with your partner and see what they find the most important, in order to be able to provide them with the things they need. However, there are some things you can do in an effort to become a better partner in your relationship:

• Show more appreciation for your partner.
• Do a nice thing for your partner every day.
• Don’t try to be right all the time.
• Give your partner the attention they deserve.
• Set more quality time aside for your partner.
• Give your partner support in following their dreams.
• Try to rekindle the romantic flame by going on dates.
• Keep an open mind and don’t overreact.
• Don’t judge your partner, but accept them for who they are.
• Listen openly to what your partner is trying to say.

Join A PIVOT Couple Relationship Management Workshop & Start Working On Your Relationship

It’s admirable wanting to become a better person and a better partner for your significant other and improve your relationship. However, sometimes, you might not be sure of exactly what to do and how to change your behavior towards your partner. 

Turning to experienced relationship advocates at PIVOT can really help you find what you were looking for. We offer a variety of programs that will help you become a better partner and give your loved one the care they deserve. 

We organize specialized retreats and workshops for struggling couples that contain many healthy relationship activities for you to try, as well as individual coaching alongside a qualified team of relationship advocates. We are here to help you become a better version of yourself. Reach out to PIVOT today!

It is difficult to be part of a failing relationship. Sometimes, relationships can become boring and partners fail to find the lost interest in each other. At other times, partners find it hard to control their emotions, which leads to outbursts that can seriously harm every relationship. Whatever the reason behind a failing relationship, the fact of it being difficult to handle remains.

However, that doesn’t have to be the end. Many relationships go through a couple of rough patches and end up stronger for it. Even problems such as losing attraction to your partner can work out if you give your relationship a chance and resort to professional emotional intimacy coaching. However, it’s always good to first know why you’re experiencing such difficulties.

How Long Does The Average Relationship Last?

Research shows that the current average length of a relationship is only 2 years and 9 months, which can sound discouraging, unsettling even. However, this kind of relationship average is taken slightly out of context as it can depend on multiple factors such as the age of both partners. There are three main relationship categories based on the age of the partners, and their duration can vary:

1. 20-year-olds: Young adults aged between twenty and thirty begin to form longer-lasting relationships. Relationships at this age can last as much as four years. However, although generally emotionally mature, individuals of this age are rarely ready to settle down.
2. 30-year-olds: When individuals hit the age of thirty, the duration of a relationship significantly increases. Generally speaking, this is a time when most people start thinking about settling down with a partner, which leads to a decrease in breakups and increase in relationship longevity.
3. Older individuals: As individuals get older, the average duration of a relationship increases to ten years or more, as breakups decrease even more. This leads to the conclusion that when relationships and partners pass a certain point, breakups become less likely. 

However, it is worth noting that the average length of a relationship is nothing more than a generalization based on a limited number of samples. The actual duration of a relationship between two individuals depends on many factors, and cannot be precisely quantified.

Why Do Relationships Fail?

Providing a definite conclusion on the reason behind a failed relationship is impossible. All relationships are different, and getting to the bottom of the breakup is a lot more complicated than stating a single reason.

What Is The Most Common Reason For Breakups?

As mentioned, providing a single, most common reason behind failed relationships would not only be impossible, but also inconsiderate to couples who are struggling because of different issues.

Relationships differ as much as the individuals in those relationships differ, and everybody perceives problems differently. For some, financial incompatibility is a more substantial problem than poor communication, while their partner could feel the opposite. 

It is important to be aware of the fact that all relationship problems are equally important if they’re causing significant friction between you and your partner. Relationships require work, and even the arguably smallest of problems can cause discontent if left uncommunicated. 

How Do You Revive A Dying Relationship?

Reviving a dying relationship takes an honest desire of both partners, and at times, requires help from a qualified relationship coach.

If you’re noticing that your relationship is starting to struggle, here are some things you can try doing to get it back on track:

• Admit responsibility if you think you’ve treated your partner poorly.
• If you or your partner have been dishonest, grant each other an opportunity to win the trust back.
• Be honest with your emotions instead of bottling them up.
• Be compassionate and caring towards the person you love.
• Try to always talk and work out the relationship problems you’re facing.
• Focus on the good parts of your relationship, instead of being blinded by the bad aspects.
• Don’t give in to your anger and try to always be respectful to your partner.
• Do not allow the people outside of your relationship to affect you and your partner’s decisions.
• Show your partner how much work you’re willing to put into your relationship to make it last. 
• Try to introduce some changes to your relationship.
• Set more time to spend with your partner. 
• Try to have more affectionate physical contact with your partner. 
• Communicate all the relationship issues with your partner calmly and honestly.
• Try to have as much fun together as you can to make your relationship more enjoyable.
• Don’t shy away from seeking professional help from qualified relationship advocates.

Sign Up For PIVOT Emotional Intimacy Coaching And Overcome Relationship Problems

Being in a relationship that used to be loving, caring, and nurturing, and seeing it failing and crumbling under your feet is an emotionally draining experience that can take its toll on every person. 

However, it’s never too late to try to revive your relationship. There are many options, and joining a private couple retreats for reconnection with your significant other can prove to be what your relationship needed to get back on track. 

PIVOT is the perfect place for you and your partner to reconnect and rekindle the failing flame of your relationship. Our experienced team of relationship advocates provides individual coaching sessions, and we also organize relationship workshops and retreats with qualified and dedicated relationship coaches. Turn to PIVOT and find a common language with your partner again!

You’ve probably been told at least once in your life to live in the present moment, or you may have encountered the cliché phrase in a movie or a book. But what does it actually mean to live in the moment? Is it possible to forget about the past and the future and be fully present? 

Whether you’re experiencing relationship problems and struggle to find good solutions or suffer from anxiety and depression, it is easy to become overwhelmed by your emotions and let otherwise enjoyable moments pass by. Instead, we worry about our future or ruminate about the past, losing track of what goes on around us. 

While it is not entirely possible to leave the past behind, and not think about the future at all, there seems to be a definite value in appreciating the present moment.

What Does Living In The Moment Mean?

When you live in the moment, you are fully present and aware of the emotions and thoughts that you have right now. If you’re not present, your thoughts are either turned towards the past or fixated on the future. 

Naturally, it is perfectly normal to think about the past or daydream about the future. Looking back helps us to better understand ourselves and our choices, while looking forward can enable us to plan our next steps and prepare for what’s coming. 

However, when you get caught up in rumination and anxiety, your past or future-oriented thoughts may start to dictate your behaviors and prevent you from thinking realistically about your current situation. 

This is why practicing mindfulness of the present moment can be a valuable tool for combating anxious and regretful thought patterns. 

Why Is Living In The Moment Important? 

While you may not be able to completely avert your thoughts from the past or the future, you can try to center yourself and evaluate your present thoughts and emotions in a realistic way by focusing on the here and now. In fact, being present can help you in a number of ways: 

• You can only control the present moment. Although you can learn much about yourself from the way you behaved in the past and create a promising plan for reaching your future goals, the present moment is the only moment you can actually control. 
• You won’t miss out on enjoyable moments. How many times have you heard the phrase, life is short. There is no way of knowing for certain what tomorrow will bring, so cherishing what you have right now and taking advantage of the present possibilities may be your best bet. 
• It can reduce your stress levels. Practicing mindfulness and learning proper breathing techniques can help combat stress and anxiety. Truly living in the moment is a useful tool for protecting your mental health. 
• You’ll keep your expectations in check. No matter how thoroughly you plan your future, your plans may not work out the way you imagined them. By being aware of your present realities, you will find it easier to manage expectations and save yourself from disappointment. 
• It can improve your relationships. Unfortunately, many relationships break apart because one or both partners can’t let go of the past or they’re too focused on planning for the future. When you are present, you’ll be more likely to appreciate the moments you spend with your partner. 

How Do You Learn To Live In The Moment?

How Do You Live In The Moment In A Relationship?

Learning to cherish each moment can also help improve your relationship with your partner. If you spend your time worrying about what you will do next or keep arguing about the past, you may create distance between your partner and yourself.

This is easier said than done. I get it. If you are still trying to resolve attachment wounds from the past, the old memories can come up out of nowhere and hijack your ability to be in the present moment. 

The couples I work with do that often – a dance of anxiety that lifts them out of the present moment or the dance of avoidance that takes them out of the present moment. Resulting in disconnect.

You can focus on the present by: 

• Engaging in activities that make both of you happy, whether it’s preparing dinner together, watching a movie or going biking. 
• Set aside some time for relaxation and give your partner the space to do the same 
• Try not to bring up mistakes from the past and focus on bettering yourself and your relationship right now 
• Don’t get hung up on what the future holds for your relationship and try to go with the flow 
• Communicate openly and honestly about what bothers you in the relationship instead of ignoring your emotional needs 
• Attend relationship building workshops with your partner to deepen and revive your relationship which will make living in the moment together possible

Fix Your Relationship Through An Insightful Intensive Workshop 

Learning to be mindful of the present moment can take some time, but it’s far from impossible. At PIVOT, we strive to help individuals and couples find balance in their relationships and heal from their past hurts. Whether you’re struggling with angry outbursts or fear getting bored of your relationship, our dedicated advocates can offer valuable tools and resources to help you center yourself and build stronger bonds. 

Our carefully designed coaching techniques and retreats for emotional reconnection may be exactly what you need to find joy in your relationships. Reach out to a PIVOT Coach now! 

Emotions are a curious thing. At times, it can seem like they come out of nowhere, confusing us with their strength and intensity. For instance, you may start crying because you’re mad and get even more angry at yourself because you’ve been taught that tears are reserved for sadness. Or you may snap at your partner for a tiny mistake they made, even though you know that that’s not a particularly reasonable response.

There are numerous reasons why you may let your emotions overwhelm you; you may be struggling with depression or anxiety, or have attachment issues stemming from your childhood of which you’re completely unaware. While codependency coaching and other forms of guidance can be of great help in this regard, it is surely a good idea to learn more about the nature of emotions in the meantime. Read on. 

Can We Control Our Emotions?

One way to understand emotions is to look at them as your mind’s automatic response to certain stimuli. They are entirely natural, and it’s essential not to see them as either good or bad. In certain situations, an emotion that is often seen as undesirable, such as anger, may be the only natural response. 

Humans are emotional beings, and even if you consciously or subconsciously ignore or detach from your emotions, they will still be there, influencing your behavior in a number of covert ways. Your body does keep the score.  While you may not necessarily be able to control your emotions, you can change the way you react to them. For example, you can choose not to snap at your partner but accept the fact that you feel angry at them and respond in a more balanced manner and try to be a better person in the relationship. 

Why Is It So Hard To Control My Emotions?

Unfortunately, it is not always easy to process our emotions in a healthy way. If your emotions feel too intense and completely out of control, know that you’re not alone. The important thing is to understand why you feel this way, as there may be a number of underlying reasons why you may be experiencing emotional outbursts such as irritability and fits of crying or anger. These may include: 

• Lack of sleep: getting enough sleep is essential to our wellbeing. You may feel irritable or overcome by your emotions simply because you haven’t slept enough or slept too much. 
• Depression & anxiety: along with other mood and personality disorders, anxiety, and depression can cause you to either lose touch with your emotions or succumb to their intensity. Especially if you are in denial of having either or both. 
• Trusting your thoughts too much: many of us have been taught that reason should be dominant to feeling. Unfortunately, this can lead you to trust your every thought as if it was undoubtedly true, even though it may be damaging to your mental health. 
• Judging your emotions: emotions are neither good nor bad. They are a natural response to certain situations in your life. Instead of judging them, try accepting them in order to better control your behavior. 
• Lack of self care: In addition to sleep, your diet and physical activity can also influence your emotional wellbeing. Eating healthy and exercising regularly can do wonders for your mental health. 

While it is entirely natural to experience intense emotions, you may want to reach out to professionals if you feel overwhelmed and unable to escape their influence. Coaching sessions can help you understand why you feel the way you do and guide you towards finding emotional balance. 

Can We Change Our Emotions By Changing Our Thinking?

Logic and emotions often clash, and it’s easy to see our emotions and thoughts as entirely separate. In fact, many people have a strong preference for one or the other in the way they approach life. However, our thoughts and emotions are far more interconnected than you may think. 

Either emotions or thinking by themselves aren’t enough to paint the whole picture. Although you may be inclined to believe that you have full control over your thoughts, the emotions you ignore will find a way to bubble up to the surface and affect your train of thought and behavior. 

Gaining A New Perspective 

The way we feel can influence the way we think, but can the way we think change the way we feel? While you may not be able to control the emotions you experience, you might be able to change the way you perceive them and act upon them. As a matter of fact, your emotions can be a useful guide, providing you with essential information that can help you determine the right course of action. 

Once you stop evaluating your emotions as negative or positive, you may gain a new perspective and understand where they are coming from. This will help you find the balance between reason and emotion and give you more control over your actions. 

How Do You Control Your Emotions In A Relationship?

Reach Out To A Relationship Coach Online & Gain Insight Into Your Emotions 

Achieving emotional balance is not an easy thing to do. Fortunately, you can rely on experienced and committed professionals at PIVOT to help you gain a new perspective on your emotions and take the first step towards healthy emotional management. 

At PIVOT, we offer compassionate and insightful coaching sessions for individuals and couples, as well as a range of transformative relationship-building workshops that can give you the resources you need to build deep and stable connections. Get in touch today! 

Relationships can become boring, especially if both partners have started putting less effort into trying to enjoy each other and joint activities. However, being bored doesn’t sound like the biggest of problems and that is precisely why it can become a serious issue.

Boredom is among the most common reasons behind failing relationships, alongside severe emotional distancing between partners, problems with dishonesty in a relationship, and losing attraction to your significant other. This is why it is important to address relationship boredom as soon as you notice this issue.

There are many reasons behind your relationship getting a bit stale, and it is important to identify the root cause in order to start resolving the issue. If you find it difficult to rekindle the joyful spark, an experienced coach can provide professional emotional intimacy coaching that can help you and your partner find excitement again. However, it’s important to understand the reason behind this problem and its possible effects. 

Is It Normal To Be Bored In A Relationship?

People feel bored all the time and relationships are no exceptions. However, experiencing relationship boredom can feel especially discouraging because it can make you question you and your partner’s compatibility and potential for a lasting loving relationship.

All that said, being bored in a relationship is a normal and common issue that happens to many couples. However, that doesn’t mean that you don’t need to do anything to alleviate the situation and let it unfold on its own. As usual and as frequent boredom in a relationship might be, it is something to pay attention to and attempt to resolve.

Relationship boredom can be a sign of a more serious underlying problem or it can lead to serious relationship issues if left unresolved. That is why it’s important to understand why you’re experiencing relationship boredom and consider implementing methods to deal with it in a healthy, constructive way.

Why Does A Relationship Become Boring?

Do Couples Get Tired Of Each Other?

Looking around you, it might be easy to notice couples and spouses who are tired of each other and think of it as an inevitability of life. However, there is no emotional or psychological rule that states that all couples get tired of each other and that there is nothing you can do about it besides waiting for it to happen to you.

The truth is that the majority of couples go through rough patches and experience problems in the relationship. However, the lack of taking action, to resolve the problems that arise, is often the reason behind unhappy or unsuccessful relationships.

So, although some couples do “get tired of each other” and relationship boredom may arise from time to time, that doesn’t immediately mean that your relationship is at its end. Many relationship issues require active involvement, not quitting.

How Do I Fix My Boredom In A Relationship?

If you’re willing to work on and through the feelings of boredom in your relationship, there are several things you can try doing to break up the habit and inspire enthusiasm and excitement:

• Be honest with your partner about what’s going on and work on it together.
• Find a way to break up the same old daily routine and spice things up.
• Try surprising your partner and making the relationship more dynamic.
• Consider changing your current environment since this can also help with eliminating boredom.
• Create a bucket list for your relationship consisting of all the things you’d like to do together.
• Start touching your partner more and show them how you feel through physical intimacy.
• Go on dates and remember the feeling of first meeting each other.
• Start flirting with your partner again and revive the lost spark.
• Consider taking up a new hobby together.

However, you have to be aware of the fact that sometimes, even against you and your partner’s best efforts, boredom will not seem to go away. At these times, you might want to consider truing professional emotional coaching. Experienced relationship advocates can help you find the underlying problem behind this issue and change behavioral patterns that might be the cause.  

Start Rebuilding Intimacy In Your Relationship At PIVOT 

Although experiencing boredom in a relationship does not sound like the most serious problem couples can face, it is still a matter that requires your attention. Being in a boring relationship may cause serious relationship challenges and even breakups. 

However, it is never too late to reconnect with your partner and rediscover the joy and the excitement you once had. Even if you struggle to do it alone, you can always turn to qualified relationship coaches for professional emotional intimacy coaching that will help you with building intimacy and interest in your relationship again.

PIVOT is the ideal place for you and your partner to find the enthusiasm and the elation you once had. Our seasoned and educated relationship advocates organize individual coaching sessions, as well as workshops and retreats for couples. You can place your trust in us to help you and your partner find joy once again. Contact us today!