Is Honesty Always The Best Policy?

Most people would probably agree that being honest and authentic in your romantic relationship is crucial for nurturing a lasting bond. In fact, a great deal of intimacy problems in a relationship can be resolved with open communication and a willingness to embrace vulnerability. After all, isn’t it good to strive to get to know the people closest to us and let them know our most vulnerable thoughts and feelings, too? Why would we hide anything from the person we care the most about? 

Naturally, honesty has a crucial role to play in relationships. However, the idea that honesty is always the best policy is not absolute. There is a definite grey area in all relationships, just like life in general. With the exception of intentionally lying in order to cheat or trick your partner, there certainly can be some situations in which diplomacy and honesty may be at conflict. 

Is It Best To Be Honest In A Relationship All The Time?

How Does Honesty Affect Relationships

It’s highly likely that you’d get a positive answer to the question of whether honesty is important in relationships from most people around you. But the key here is to discuss what honesty means to each individual. For some, being honest means being open to your partner about your whereabouts, about your personal history, or your deep fears and insecurities. 

For others, however, honesty may mean saying what you mean at all times, even if it means offending or hurting your partner. If honesty means open and constant criticism for you, you may find yourself struggling to maintain a relationship or make your partner feel unlovable and unworthy. 

Private Thoughts 

This is not the only grey area when it comes to honesty in relationships, however. Most people have extremely private thoughts that they are hesitant to disclose to others, no matter how close they may be. They may even be dishonest with themselves about their most private and vulnerable thoughts. 

These private thoughts may range from completely harmless, such as finding a stranger on the plane cute, to those that may be more hurtful to your partner, such as having a sexual fantasy with a person you both know. While it may seem like you or your partner are not supposed to have such thoughts, they are perfectly natural, and disclosing them may only create doubt and uncertainty in your relationship. 

How Does Honesty Affect Relationships?

Honesty is a cornerstone of any lasting relationship. It can help create a sense of trust and safety for both you and your partner and help you overcome any challenges that come your way without fear. Here are some other positive effects of honesty in relationships: 

  • By being honest, you can help your partner to better understand you and find ways for your relationship to grow
  • Honesty can prevent doubt and suspicion in your relationship. Your partner won’t have to guess what you’re feeling and thinking.
  • If you lie or withhold important information about yourself from your partner, they are likely to feel betrayed and hurt, which may breed resentment.
  • By nurturing a relationship based on trust, you can learn to be more honest with yourself as well. If you and your partner are able to listen to each other without judgement, you’ll be less ashamed of your less gracious acts and thoughts. 

Overall, honesty can greatly increase your satisfaction in a relationship. Without it, you may get stuck in a relationship you’re unhappy with or be unable to overcome your fear of vulnerability

Can Honesty Hurt A Relationship?

Just like with many other things in life, the role of honesty in relationships isn’t as clear cut as it may seem at first glance. Complete, uninhibited honesty can have a number of negative consequences on relationships. Of course, these effects of honesty can vary depending on your and your partner’s personalities. For instance, some people value directness, even if it means receiving criticism from their partner. Other people, however, may be more defensive or prone to internalizing even the slightest negative remarks. 

People come from different backgrounds and have different expectations of relationships. You and your partner may both be comfortable with sharing even the most private thoughts with each other, but that may not be the case in all relationships. Respect, understanding, and mutual trust are often dependent on honesty, but may also depend on the unique nature of each person and the relationship in question. 

How Can I Be Honest In A Relationship?

If you want to nurture a relationship based on honesty and trust, but maintain some balance, consider the following tips: 

  1. Aim for mutual trust.

    Discuss the meaning of trust with your partner. For many people, trust means no secrecy and deceptiveness, feeling heard in the relationship, and feeling free to be yourself while you’re with your partner. 

  2. Not everything has to be shared.

    Honesty doesn’t necessarily mean full disclosure. It also doesn’t mean constant white lies and selectiveness with truth. Instead, it means that our minds are complex and chaotic, with thoughts and feelings that often don’t matter as much as we think they do. 

  3. Think before you speak.

    It is common for people to blurt out everything that’s on their minds to alleviate some of their insecurities or anxiety. However, this may put your partner under too much pressure to provide support 24/7. 

  4. Don’t expect full disclosure from your partner either.

    We simply can’t know everything that goes through another person’s mind. Also, some people are simply more comfortable with sharing their thoughts and feelings than others. Even if your partner is somewhat withdrawn, that doesn’t mean that they’re unhappy. 

  5. Think about the effect of your honesty.

    Think about how you’d feel if your partner said the same thing to you as you said to them. If honesty means just criticizing your partner, take a step back and see what the purpose for your honesty actually is.  

  6. Learn to listen.

    If you have a lot of thoughts and want to share all of them with your partner, it’s only fair that you let them do the same. Make sure to listen to what your partner has to say without judgement. After all, honesty is a two way street. 

Establish Balance Through Transformative Relationship Intimacy Coaching

Can Honesty Hurt A Relationship

Whether you’re struggling with honesty in your relationship, need help maintaining your integrity, or worry that your relationship will be ruined by a lack of affection, don’t hesitate to contact PIVOT. We can provide you with the relationship-building skills you need to improve your relationship and attain emotional stability. Our expertly designed individual coaching sessions and couple retreats are designed to bring positive change into your life and help you heal your core emotional wounds. Get in touch with us now. 

Integrity In Relationships: Why It Matters

In order for an intimate relationship to be successful, some compromise is often necessary. When a relationship is based on fairness, open communication, and trust, both partners are likely to feel heard, valued, and secure. However, it is not uncommon for partners to go overboard when trying to meet their partner’s needs and expectations, at the expense of their own. 

Although integrity may have different meanings for different people, it can be said that having integrity in a relationship means being able to adhere to your principles and values while treating your partner with due respect and consideration. While open cooperation in relationships often means willingly giving up certain wants and desires, it can be quite difficult to achieve balance, especially when important needs are concerned. 

If you or your partner struggle with maintaining integrity, learning to build trust in a relationship in a specialized workshop may provide you with the necessary insight and skills. In the meantime, read on to find out what integrity means in relationships and how you and your partner can achieve it.  

Why Is Integrity Important In Relationships?

Integrity often entails vulnerability, honesty, and authenticity. It is based on respect, kindness, and gentleness that serve to maintain your own sense of worth and ensure the success of your relationship. While you don’t have to agree with your partner on all occasions, you can treat them with compassion and openness. This may mean discussing important issues and making decisions together with your partner, while trying to accommodate their needs, as well as your own. 

A relationship that lacks integrity, on the other hand, may involve keeping score, blaming, devaluing the other person’s needs, and bringing up past hurts. Instead, integrity may mean staying committed to resolving the problem at hand with kindness, humor, and compassion.

What Are Signs Of Integrity?

In the basic sense of the term, integrity means being honest and having strong moral principles. Individuals with integrity may show some or all of the following traits: 

  • Taking responsibility for one’s actions: an individual with integrity recognizes that their behavior has impacts on other people and is willing to adjust it. Keep in mind that this doesn’t mean pleasing everyone. Instead, it means that you strive to be the best person you can be, for yourself and others. 
  • Praising the successes of other people: when you have integrity, you don’t feel threatened by other people’s accomplishments. You help other people feel good about themselves, too instead of putting them down. 
  • Not using personal attacks in arguments: integrity means being able to stand your ground in an argument without finger pointing and name calling. You are able to understand both points of view and remain calm and collected when arguing. 
  • Willingness to listen: similarly, a person with integrity may rarely assume. Instead, they know that there often are at least two different sides to each story, and take their time to listen and ask questions before acting. 
  • Valuing the needs of others: integrity doesn’t mean sacrificing for others in a way that damages your own well-being. On the contrary, it usually means putting others first in a way that shows respect and dedication. 

How Does Integrity Build Trust?

What Are Signs Of Integrity

Integrity is key for building trust, both in ourselves and our relationships. You may build self-trust by monitoring and evaluating your behaviors so as to understand your principles and whether your actions are in tune with them. You can build trust in other people by observing how they behave and get to know their principles, too, and see whether your principles match. 

If you maintain integrity in a relationship, you can create a foundation of trust, enabling both yourself and your partner to feel valued and respected. This may enhance relationship satisfaction and longevity, especially if both parties are dedicated to building trust. 

How To Keep Your Integrity In A Relationship?

If you are worried about losing your integrity in a relationship, consider the following tips: 

  1. Share your values with your partner and make sure they understand what is important to you.

    This way, your partner may find it easier to respect your values, and you may also encourage them to speak about what matters to them, too. 

  2. Leave room for some alone time.

    This doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to be exactly ‘alone’. Instead, it means having enough time to focus on your own hobbies or social activities, especially if you and your partner have few common interests.  

  3. Strive for honesty and trust.

    Trust and integrity tend to go hand in hand. A relationship that is based on honesty often entails a sense of integrity, as both partners feel like they can share their vulnerabilities with each other. 

  4. Keep your expectations in check.

     If you feel unhappy in your relationship, it may be the case that you are expecting too much or too little from your partner. You might be expecting your partner to respect your decisions without respecting their own, or your partner may not be as dedicated to making the relationship work as you are. 

  5. Attend a relationship workshop.

    If you’re struggling to maintain a steady relationship based on integrity and trust, reaching out to professionals may be exactly what you need. Coaching experts rely on tried-and-true practices to help you and our partner find common ground. 

Attend A PIVOT Couple Workshop For Deepening Your Relationship

How Does Integrity Build Trust

At PIVOT, we take a compassionate, holistic approach to helping individuals and couples achieve lasting relationship happiness. Through individual coaching designed to target your core wounds and highly focused workshops for couples, we can provide you with the resources and knowledge you need to heal and facilitate positive change in your life. 

If you are ready to take the first step towards achieving emotional equilibrium, make sure to get in touch with PIVOT. Our dedicated team can tailor your coaching experience to your unique needs and give you a chance to improve your wellbeing. Get in touch with us today and start working on a better you. 

Relationship Affection: How Important Is It?

Being affectionate, loving, and caring in your relationship is a vital aspect of it that, when lacking, can not only cause other problems to appear, such as experiencing profound relationship sadness or being part of an increasingly apathetic relationship. And that is why it is a  good idea to deal with potential issues in your relationship as soon as you see them arise.

However, sometimes it is simply not possible to resolve certain relationship problems alone with your partner, and there comes a time when it seems the only thing that remains is to attend a relationship building skills workshop. While this is a good idea, as professional coaches can really help, it doesn’t hurt to learn more about what lack of affection can do to a relationship.

How Important Is Affection In A Relationship?

Affection is very important in a relationship, as it helps both partners experience an increased sense of harmony, love, and mutual understanding. Giving, as well as receiving affection, simply helps create a safer and more caring relationship.

And that goes for all aspects of affection, not just physical and sexual intimacy. Emotional affection is equally important as its physical counterpart, and some would argue that there is no true physical affection without emotional one.

So, affection is important, and not just because of the reasons already mentioned. There’s more to why affection is so important:

  • It releases plenty of feel-good hormones.
  • Affection helps create a more trusting relationship.
  • Physical affection helps reduce blood pressure.
  • Being affectionate with your partner reduces stress hormones.
  • Increased affection can be associated with increased relationship satisfaction.

Why Can’t I Show Affection To My Partner?

Why Can’t I Show Affection To My Partner

Experiencing inability to express affection towards your partner can be very detrimental to your relationship, especially if the issue persists for prolonged periods of time. However, being aware of this fact does little to help you overcome the problem of not showing affection. 

That is why, to begin with, it is important to become aware of several common reasons why you might be unable to express affection to your partner. Potentially succeeding in identifying the underlying cause of your inability to show affection is the first step in working towards resolving that problem.

  • You might be dealing with high levels of anxiety that are preventing you from being affectionate with your partner.
  • You could have a lower need level when it comes to expressing affection, which stops you from giving your partner the affection they need.
  • You may have a different preconception of what expressing affection looks like and what affection actually is. 
  • You might currently be affected by a recent difficult situation you have experienced which is stopping you from being affectionate. 
  • You could be feeling the negative effects of a hidden medical or psychological condition that requires assistance from a professional.

Is It Normal To Have No Affection In A Relationship?

Talking in terms of normal and not normal or abnormal is neither correct nor suitable terminology when discussing anything related to relationship issues. All people are unique, and so are their relationships. What works for one couple may not work for another, and vice versa. 

However, extreme absence of any kind of affection between partners can be increasingly detrimental to any relationship, as it is usually a sign of a different underlying issue that can leave more serious consequences. These are some of the most usual reasons behind lack of affection in a relationship:

  1. Difference in boundaries

    Sometimes, not showing affection can have its root in previous failed attempts by one of the partners that originated due to different internal boundaries concerning showing affection.

  2. Feeling too comfortable

    Being overly comfortable can lead to one or both partners beginning to neglect showing affection to each other. 

  3. Experiencing improper balance

    Current lack of affection can easily be caused by one or both partners focusing on other aspects of their lives, leaving little time to pay attention to being affectionate with each other. 

  4. Fearing intimacy

    It is quite common for a person to fear being affectionate with their partner, which stems from their potentially unresolved fears of intimacy, as they perceive intimacy and affection as connected, which they certainly can be. 

  5. Personal insecurities

    Finally, an individual could be experiencing personal insecurities that can negatively affect their relationship by preventing them from showing affection to their partner. 

Can Lack Of Affection Ruin Relationships?

Yes, lack of affection can negatively impact any relationship, and it can eventually lead to one or both partners beginning to lose connection to each other, which can inflict serious repercussions to any relationship.

Experiencing lack of affection is a pretty common occurrence. However, allowing it to persist and not finding a solution can cause the flame of love to become smaller, eventually leading to more serious problems that could potentially ruin a relationship. That is why it is a good idea to address relationship problems as they arise. 

Join A Couple Relationship Management Workshop At Pivot And Resolve Your Issues

Is It Normal To Have No Affection In A Relationship

Missing affection in a relationship is a problem that can affect both partners equally and that can lead to many other issues rearing their ugly heads and causing additional problems that might become too much to deal with at a certain point. That is why it is important to react on time and attempt to deal with the lack of affection between you and your partner. 

Some people perceive lack of fondness and tenderness to be less serious than other problems in a relationship, such as being involved in an overly toxic relationship or constantly experiencing relationship dishonesty from your partner. However, while not having sufficient affection might seem like an issue easily resolved, it’s anything but.

That is why PIVOT has designed both individual emotional coaching workshops, as well as group emotional issues workshops. We want to give you options and space to choose the type of workshop that would best suit you and your partner. Our experienced coaches will give it their all to help you with your relationship problems. Reach out to us today!