Author: Lori Jean Glass

Research suggests that emotions play a crucial role in shaping our experiences and behavior in daily life and they play a BIG role in how we show up in relationships. Emotions are psychological states that involve subjective feelings, physiological changes, and behavioral responses. They can be triggered by various internal and external factors, including events, people, and circumstances. At PIVOT, we don’t view emotions as good or bad.

Emotions Are Important In Daily Life For Several Reasons

First, they help us interpret and respond to our environment. Basic emotions provide us with valuable information about the world around us, enabling us to identify and respond appropriately to different situations. For example, feeling fear in response to a perceived threat can prompt us to take action to protect ourselves, while feeling joy in response to positive news can motivate us to pursue further opportunities for happiness and connection.

Second, basic emotions are a fundamental aspect of human communication. They allow us to express ourselves and convey our thoughts, feelings, and intentions to others. For instance, we can use facial expressions, vocal intonation, and body language to communicate our emotions to others, helping to build social connections and build relationships.

Third, emotions are closely tied to motivation and goal-directed behavior. The desire to experience certain emotions, such as happiness or love, can motivate us to pursue particular activities or goals.

Conversely, the avoidance of what some perceive as negative emotion, such as anger, can also drive our behavioral responses and decision-making.

The truth is anger, fear, guilt, etc., are not necessarily negative emotions.

For example, anger can prompt us to have crucial conversations. At PIVOT, we call these invitations to communicate effectively so people don’t just make quick decisions that can affect them long term.

As stated above, fear can prompt us to take action to protect ourselves and those we love.

Guilt can prompt us to lean into forgiveness and let go of what otherwise could lead to self-destructive behavior.

What’s the Difference Between Emotions and Feelings?

Emotions and feelings are often used interchangeably, but there is a subtle difference between the two.

Emotions refer to a complex psychological and physiological response to an external stimulus, such as an event, a person, or a situation. Emotions are typically short-lived and automatic, and they often involve physical sensations, such as increased heart rate, sweating, and changes in facial expression.

For some, emotions can hijack your nervous system and take you full force into an emotional storm that can wreak havoc in relationships if not managed and tolerated in the given moments.

Feelings, on the other hand, are more subjective and often longer-lasting than emotions. They refer to the conscious experience of emotional states and can be influenced by personal beliefs, thoughts, and memories. Understanding feelings is essential for self-awareness and emotional intelligence.

Unlike emotions, feelings are not always linked to a specific event or stimulus, and they can be triggered by internal as well as external factors.

What are Examples of Some Emotions and Their Definitions?

1. Happiness – Any state of being, having considerable permanence, in which pleasure decidedly predominates over pain
2. Sadness – Experiencing loss/sorrow 
3. Anger – A strong feeling of displeasure and belligerence brought on by something bad
4. Fear – Impending danger
5. Disgust – To cause extreme dislike
6. Surprise – Sudden feeling of astonishment
7. Love – Affection for another person
8. Joy – Great delight
9. Excitement – To arouse or stir up
10. Guilt – A sense of wrongdoing

Types of Emotional Responses And Related Behavior

The experience of responses that are emotional is a human characteristic that occurs in reaction to specific events or situations. Major emotions, which include primary emotions, play a significant role in these emotional experiences. The emotional experience that people have in being on the receiving end of these specific events or situations can cause reactions that create connection and also create confusions and conflict.

For instance, people may experience great joy, a major emotion, when receiving positive news, or feel fear, another major emotion, when faced with a threat. The influence of major emotions is significant in shaping daily life, including decision-making processes that are influenced by one’s level of joy or anger.

Often, the motivation behind a particular activity is the emotion it elicits, especially when it comes to major emotions.

Therefore, comprehending emotions, particularly major emotions, is vital for navigating life in a more composed manner. These can be broadly categorized into three categories: primary, secondary, and mixed emotions.

Primary or Basic Emotions

Primary emotions are considered the fundamental or basic emotions that all human beings experience. These emotions include happiness, sadness, fear, anger, surprise, and disgust. Primary emotions are considered universal, meaning they are expressed and recognized across cultures and languages.

They are closely related to behavior, as they can influence the way individuals act and react in various situations. These basic emotions are typically automatic and immediate, and they can trigger physiological and behavioral responses that help individuals respond to different situations.

Here are some examples basic emotions:

• Fear can trigger a “fight or flight” response, causing individuals to either confront the source of the fear or flee from it.
• Anger can motivate individuals to take action in response to a perceived injustice or threat.
• Happiness can encourage individuals to engage in activities that promote well-being and pleasure.

Primary emotions can also influence social behavior, as they are often communicated through facial expressions, vocal intonation, and body language.

For instance, a smile is a universal expression of happiness, while a furrowed brow is a common expression of anger or concern. Facial expressions are often misunderstood. Like a furrowed brow might just be a feeling of confusion for some. However, there are common expressions, vocal intonations, and body language that are indeed universal.

Moreover, primary emotions can influence decision-making and problem-solving by shaping an individual’s priorities and preferences.

For instance, a person experiencing intense feelings of fear may prioritize finding safety over other concerns, while a person experiencing joy may prioritize pursuing activities that bring them pleasure.

Secondary or Complex Emotions

Secondary emotions, also known as complex emotions, are a blend of primary emotions. Examples of secondary emotions include guilt, shame, envy, and jealousy. These emotions involve a more complex cognitive appraisal of a situation, such as evaluating the fairness of a situation or judging the actions of oneself or others.

Unlike primary emotions that are often automatic and instinctive, secondary emotions require a more complex cognitive appraisal of a situation and involve a deeper level of introspection.

Complex emotions can play a significant role in behavior by influencing decision-making, problem-solving, and social interactions.

For example, guilt and shame are secondary emotions that are associated with a sense of responsibility or accountability for one’s actions. These emotions can motivate individuals to make amends, apologize, or take corrective action to rectify a situation.

Similarly, envy and jealousy are secondary emotions that are often associated with social comparison and competition. These emotions can motivate individuals to strive for success or work harder to achieve a particular goal.

However, complex emotions can also have negative effects on behavior.

For instance, excessive guilt or shame can lead to self-blame, low self-esteem, and at times, severe self-destructive behavior. Jealousy or envy can lead to resentment and interpersonal conflicts.

Mixed Emotions

Mixed emotions refer to the experience of two or more primary or secondary emotions simultaneously. For example, a person may feel happy and sad at the same time, such as when attending a bittersweet event like a graduation or a funeral. Mixed emotions can also occur when there is conflict between primary or secondary emotions, such as feeling both anger and guilt after having an argument with a loved one.

Mixed emotions can influence behavior in a number of ways.

For example, mixed emotions can lead to indecision or uncertainty, as individuals may struggle to prioritize or balance conflicting emotions. They can also lead to a sense of emotional turmoil or inner conflict, which can be distressing or unsettling.

Mixed emotions can also influence social behavior by shaping communication and interpersonal relationships.

For example, when individuals experience mixed emotions during a conversation, they may have difficulty expressing themselves clearly or empathizing with the other person’s perspective. This can lead to misunderstandings and conflicts.

However, mixed emotions can also have positive effects on behavior.

For example, when individuals experience mixed emotions in response to a challenging or complex situation, it can lead to more nuanced thinking and problem-solving. And, great conversations if both individuals have a higher level of emotional intelligence.

Mixed emotions can also lead to greater empathy and understanding in social relationships, as individuals learn to navigate conflicting emotions and perspectives.

What is Emotional Regulation?

Emotional regulation refers to the ability to effectively manage and modulate one’s emotional responses in different situations. It involves the capacity to recognize and understand one’s own basic emotions, as well as the emotions of others, and to respond in a way that is appropriate and adaptive.

Emotional regulation involves a range of cognitive and behavioral strategies that can be used to manage emotions, including reappraisal, distraction, suppression, and problem-solving. For example, individuals may use reappraisal to reframe a situation in a more positive light, or distraction to shift their attention away from a negative stimulus.

Effective emotional regulation is important for mental health and well-being, as it can help individuals to reduce stress and anxiety, improve social relationships, and make informed decisions. Conversely, poor emotional regulation can lead to negative outcomes such as emotional dysregulation, interpersonal conflicts, and impaired decision-making.

Emotional regulation can be developed and improved through various techniques such as mindfulness meditation, the PIVOT Process, cognitive-behavioral therapy, and other forms of psychotherapy.

With practice, individuals can learn to regulate their emotions effectively and respond to situations in a way that promotes their overall health and well-being.

Importance of Emotional Regulation

Emotional regulation is crucial for our mental and physical health and well-being.

Here are some reasons why emotional regulation is important:

1. Reduced Stress and Anxiety: Emotionally regulating our responses to stressors can help us reduce our levels of stress and anxiety. This can, in turn, improve our physical health and lower our risk of developing chronic diseases such as heart disease and diabetes.
2. Improved Relationships: Emotionally regulated individuals tend to have more positive relationships with others. They are better equipped to manage interpersonal conflicts and communicate effectively with others, which can lead to more fulfilling and supportive social relationships.
3. Better Decision Making: Emotionally regulated individuals are better equipped to make informed decisions. They are less likely to make impulsive decisions based on their emotions, and are better able to think critically and problem-solve effectively.
4. Enhanced Cognitive Functioning: Emotional regulation can improve our cognitive functioning, including our attention, memory, and reasoning skills. This can improve our overall academic and occupational performance.
5. Improved Mental Health: Effective emotional regulation can reduce the risk of developing mental health disorders such as depression and anxiety. It can also improve the outcomes of mental health treatment for those who do experience such disorders.

Techniques For Emotional Regulation

Techniques for emotional regulation are cognitive and behavioral strategies that can be used to manage and modulate these responses in different situations.

Here are some examples of techniques for emotional regulation:

1. Mindfulness: Being present in the moment and accepting our emotions without judgment. By practicing mindfulness, individuals can learn to observe their emotions without becoming overwhelmed by them.
2. Cognitive Reframing: This involves challenging negative thoughts and beliefs about ourselves and our situations. This can help us to reframe our perspective in a more positive or realistic way, reducing negative emotional responses.
3. Deep Breathing: Taking slow, deep breaths to calm the body and reduce physiological arousal. This can help to reduce feelings of stress and anxiety.
4. Problem-Solving: These techniques involve identifying and addressing the underlying causes of negative emotions. By developing effective problem-solving skills, individuals can reduce the likelihood of experiencing negative emotions in the future.
5. Social Support: This is about seeking out and connecting with supportive individuals in our lives, such as family members, friends, or mental health professionals. This can provide a sense of validation and connection, reducing negative emotional responses.
6. Physical Exercise: This has been shown to have a positive impact on emotional regulation. Exercise can reduce feelings of stress and anxiety and promote a sense of well-being.

What Is Emotional Intelligence?

Emotional intelligence refers to the ability to recognize, understand, and manage one’s emotions, as well as the emotions of others. It involves being able to use emotional information to guide thought and behavior, and to communicate effectively with others in a variety of social situations. Emotional intelligence is an important aspect of personal and social competence, and can be developed and improved with practice and self-reflection. Individuals with high levels of emotional intelligence are often more successful in their personal and professional lives, and are better able to manage stress, build strong relationships, and navigate complex social situations.

Our #Healthy Adult process that we help people pivot into is a great example of how learning how to manage and tolerate your own feelings and know how to navigate the landscape of emotions can create a higher level of emotional intelligence. This process is unique to each of you and based on your personal and family of origin storyline.

The Importance Of Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence is an important aspect of personal and social development, and has a range of benefits for individuals in their personal and professional lives.

Here are some of the key reasons why emotional intelligence is important:

1. Better Communication: Emotional intelligence allows individuals to communicate more effectively with others. By understanding and managing their emotions, individuals are better able to express themselves in a clear and appropriate manner, and to understand and respond to the emotions of others.
2. Stronger Relationships: Emotional intelligence can help individuals build stronger, more positive relationships with others. By being attuned to the emotions of others and responding in an empathetic and compassionate way, individuals can establish trust, build rapport, and create deeper connections with those around them.
3. Improved Conflict Resolution: Individuals with high emotional intelligence are better equipped to manage conflicts and navigate difficult interpersonal situations. By understanding their own emotions and the emotions of others, they can communicate more effectively and find solutions that are mutually beneficial.
4. Greater Resilience: Emotional intelligence can help individuals cope with stress and adversity. By understanding and managing their emotions, individuals can develop greater resilience and adaptability, and can bounce back more quickly from setbacks and challenges.
5. Increased Success: Emotional intelligence is an important predictor of success in many areas of life, including personal relationships, education, and the workplace. Individuals with high levels of emotional intelligence are often more successful in their careers, more effective leaders, and better able to achieve their goals.

Strategies For Developing Emotional Intelligence

There are a number of strategies that individuals can use to develop their emotional intelligence.

Here are some of the most effective:

1. Self-reflection: Developing emotional intelligence starts with self-awareness. By reflecting on your own emotions, triggers, and reactions, you can begin to understand your own emotional patterns and learn to manage them more effectively. This can be challenging for some individuals who are feeling an overwhelming sense of unworthiness and neglect. PIVOT coaching can help with this.
2. Mindfulness: Mindfulness practices, such as meditation, can help you become more present and aware of your thoughts and emotions. This can help you develop greater emotional self-awareness and learn to manage your emotions more effectively. Meditation can be challenging for some and there are some great free apps available that can help you begin with only 5-10 minutes a day!  Yoga and walking outdoors are also excellent options.
3. Active Listening: Active listening involves paying close attention to what others are saying and responding in an empathetic and supportive way. By practicing active listening, you can improve your ability to understand and respond to the emotions of others.
4. Empathy: Developing empathy involves putting yourself in someone else’s shoes and understanding their perspective and emotions. By practicing empathy, you can build stronger relationships and communicate more effectively with others. It is hard to find empathy when someone is feeling betrayed. We can help with this.
5. Managing Stress: Learning to manage stress and develop greater resilience is an important part of emotional intelligence. Strategies for managing stress include exercise, relaxation techniques, and developing healthy coping mechanisms. Life experiences can bring about many feelings of stress. Financial fear, parenting, health, and the list goes on. Getting help with a PIVOT coach to understand and create a plan to help make your life more manageable can be a tremendous help in managing stress.
6. Seeking Feedback: Seeking feedback from others can help you understand how your emotions and behavior are perceived by others, and can help you identify areas for improvement.
7. Continuous Learning: Developing emotional intelligence is an ongoing process. By seeking out opportunities for personal and professional development, such as PIVOT coaching, you can continue to build your emotional intelligence over time.

Summary of Key Points on Emotions

• Emotions are complex psychological and physiological responses to internal and external stimuli.
• Primary emotions are universal, innate, and biologically-based, while secondary and mixed emotions are more complex and depend on individual experiences and interpretations.
• Emotions play a crucial role in our daily lives, influencing our thoughts, behavior, and decision-making.
• Emotional regulation is the ability to manage and control our emotions in a healthy and productive way, and is important for mental and physical well-being.
• Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand and manage one’s own emotions, as well as the emotions of others, and is associated with greater success in personal and professional relationships.
• Strategies for developing emotional intelligence include self-reflection, mindfulness, active listening, empathy, stress management, seeking feedback, and continuous learning.

Recap on Understanding Emotions and Emotional Responses

Emotions and their responses can have a number of implications in our personal and professional lives.

Here are some of the key implications:

1. Improved communication: Understanding emotions can improve our ability to communicate with others. By recognizing and responding appropriately to the emotional signals of others, we can build stronger relationships and resolve conflicts more effectively.
2. Better decision-making: Emotions play a significant role in our decision-making, and understanding our emotional responses can help us make better decisions. By recognizing and managing our emotions, we can make more rational and objective choices.
3. Enhanced self-awareness: Understanding these responses can lead to greater self-awareness, which can help us understand our strengths and weaknesses and make positive changes in our lives.
4. Improved mental health: Emotional regulation is essential for good mental health. By understanding our emotions and developing healthy ways to manage them, we can reduce stress and anxiety and improve our overall well-being.
5. Greater success in relationships: Emotional intelligence is associated with greater success in personal and professional relationships. By understanding and responding appropriately to the emotions of others, we can build trust, resolve conflicts, and create stronger connections.
6. Better leadership: Emotional intelligence is also associated with effective leadership. Leaders who understand and manage their own emotions, as well as the emotions of their team members, are better able to motivate and inspire others, build strong teams, and achieve organizational goals.

Final Thoughts on Emotions

In summary, emotions are complex psychological and physiological responses to internal and external stimuli that play a crucial role in our daily lives. They influence our thoughts, behavior, decision-making, and relationships.

Understanding our emotional responses and developing emotional intelligence can have a number of positive implications, including improved communication, better decision-making, enhanced self-awareness, improved mental health, greater success in relationships, and better leadership.

It is important to note that developing emotional intelligence is an ongoing process that requires self-reflection, practice, and a commitment to continuous learning. It is also important to recognize that emotions can be difficult to manage and regulate at times, and seeking support can be helpful.

Overall, by embracing and understanding our emotions, we can lead healthier, more fulfilling lives and build stronger connections with those around us.

Where Can I Get Help With Managing And Tolerating My Positive and Negative Emotions?

Achieving emotional balance is not an easy thing to do. Fortunately, you can rely on experienced and committed professionals at PIVOT to help you gain a new perspective on your emotions and take steps towards healthy emotional management. Learning to feel, manage, and tolerate your feelings in the moment and respond, not just react is one of the many things we specialize in through our time tested and evidence based curriculum.

We offer individual coaching and one day personalized intensives, and 5 day retreats at the Glass House depending on how aggressively you would like to work on your personal growth. Be sure to also get a copy of our founder’s book on Amazon – #HealthyAdult. Get started today to achieve positive outcomes using our curriculum to build and maintain your emotional intelligence!

We’ve all heard of defense mechanisms, but what exactly are they?

Defense mechanisms are the ways we deal with anxiety-provoking and stressful situations. They’re subconscious coping mechanisms that help us preserve an individual’s emotional stability and well-being. While they can provide temporary relief from anxiety and stress, relying on them too heavily can lead to negative consequences and prevent individuals from addressing the root cause of their anxiety.

At PIVOT, we call these Survival Patterns because often, many people will use defense mechanisms to manage and tolerate painful feelings.

For most people, defense mechanisms are spontaneous rather than involuntary. This means that they are driven by internal impulses or motivations, rather than external stimuli or physiological events. In other words, they are not necessarily controlled by external factors but instead arise naturally from within the individual as a response to anxiety or stress.

Let’s take a look at the top 10 most common defense mechanisms and see how they help us cope with anxiety and stress.

Defense Mechanisms

Denial

Denial is one of the defense mechanisms that involves refusing to acknowledge or accept reality or facts. This can involve ignoring, denying, or repressing unpleasant truths to attempt to reduce anxiety and stress.

Denial individuals to avoid or delay dealing with difficult emotions or situations. It can provide a temporary sense of relief and stability, but it can also have negative consequences in the long term. Keeping it “stuffed” in the body can produce long-term physical complications.

Consider an alcoholic. In social environments, they may use alcohol to feel more comfortable in situations that would typically make them anxious – knowing that drinking is not good for them. They may just tell themselves “I can quit any time and drinking now is no big deal”. Ignoring the fact that they just had a huge fight in front of their kids and told their partner that they would stop drinking. This is a form of denial. Meanwhile, their dependency to alcohol is increasing and their mental and physical health is degrading.

By ignoring or denying reality, individuals may be preventing themselves from facing and resolving problems, which can lead to further stress and anxiety.

Projection

Projection is a defense mechanism that attributes one’s feelings, thoughts, and motivations to another person or group. People who project often accuse others of having the same negative traits that they possess. Meaning, that if someone is feeling bad about themselves they might try to put that onto someone else by criticizing them. 

An example of projection could be a person who feels guilty about lying to their partner and accuses their partner of being untruthful, even though there’s no evidence to support this claim. The person is unconsciously projecting their guilt onto their partner to avoid accepting responsibility for their behavior.

Rationalization

Rationalization is a defense mechanism where people offer explanations or excuses to justify their behavior even though those explanations are not necessarily true.

For example, a person who is late for work because they decided to go to bed very late, blames traffic and everything else under the sun. They may use these examples to distort reality and avoid being accountable for being to work on time. Because being late to work for illegitimate reasons could be perceived natively by others, the individual continues this cycle. And, in the long run, will typically feel bad about not telling the truth.

Displacement

Displacement is a defense mechanism that allows individuals to release built-up emotions without risking relationships, reputation, or safety. It is a defense mechanism that helps individuals cope with anxiety and stress by redirecting their emotions to a less threatening and what happens to be a more safe target.

An example of this would be when Mark is triggered by his boss at work. Instead of lashing out in the moment, he redirects that frustration while driving his car and yells at another driver who is going too slow for Mark.

Regression

Regression is a defense mechanism that involves reverting to an earlier stage of development as a means of coping with stress and anxiety. When individuals are under stress, they may resort to behaviors that are characteristic of a younger or more immature developmental stage.

Examples of regression include crying, throwing tantrums, clinging to others, or engaging in behaviors that were once typical of childhood but are no longer developmentally appropriate.

Regression can provide a temporary sense of comfort and stability, allowing individuals to escape from the demands and pressures of adulthood. However, it is important to recognize that regression can have negative consequences in the long term.

People who use this coping skill typically have old unresolved trauma that has not been dealt with. The PIVOT process dives deep into helping people understand their developmental parts – that are still often very much alive today – and learn to talk healthier actions as opposed to habitual actions.

Reaction Formation

Reaction formation is a defense mechanism that involves developing attitudes and behaviors that are the direct opposite of one’s true feelings. This can involve acting friendly or positive towards someone or something that is disliked, as a way of hiding or masking those true feelings. By acting in a manner that is opposite to one’s true feelings, individuals can reduce the internal conflict that arises from having conflicting or unacceptable emotions. It can also harm relationships by creating confusion and mistrust, as others may not understand the true motivations and feelings behind an individual’s behavior.

An example of reaction formation can be: a manager is stressed and overworked. The manager may hide their true feelings of anger and frustration in the workplace associated with their direct boss, and instead, present a cheerful attitude at work. They may go out of their way to be helpful and quite friendly to their colleagues, even though they internalize feelings of being overwhelmed and resentful.

The manager behaves this way to avoid unpleasant emotions and present a positive facade. Over time, reaction formation can become an unhealthy habit and can impact one’s physical and emotional well-being.

At PIVOT, we could help this manager prepare for a critical conversation with their boss that would create connection and eliminate confusion without jeopardizing their job.

Sublimation

Sublimation is a defense mechanism that involves converting difficult or negative emotions into something more socially acceptable or productive. It allows individuals to express their emotions healthily and constructively, rather than resorting to destructive or harmful behaviors.

One example of sublimation is channeling anger into physical exercise. This allows individuals to release their negative emotions in a way that is healthy and socially acceptable. Other examples of sublimation might include channeling sexual impulses into creative endeavors, such as writing or art, or channeling aggressive impulses into more productive activities, such as working on a challenging project.

Intellectualization

Intellectualization is a defense mechanism that involves using abstract concepts and theories to distance oneself from unpleasant emotions. It involves focusing on facts and information rather than feelings, as a way of coping with stress and anxiety.

This often can lead to a serious attachment style of avoidance. And, this can suppress feelings so far down, that emotional intimacy is difficult to have in a relationship.

For example, a person who is grieving the loss of a child might intellectualize their emotions by focusing on the scientific or philosophical aspects of death, rather than their personal feelings of sadness and loss. This would create distance from their other children and partner because there would be no room for expressing their grief or having empathy for the other family members.

Avoidance

Avoidance is a defense mechanism where individuals avoid certain situations, people, or activities that are associated with unwanted thoughts or feelings.

This defense mechanism can help to reduce anxiety in the short term and it can also prevent individuals from facing and overcoming their fears in the long term. People may use fantasy as a means to avoid personal problems and escape from reality or gain a sense of control over difficult situations.

Avoidance can keep the individual from being seen, feeling connected, and loved.

Dissociation

Dissociation is a technique used by people consciously and subconsciously for centuries and has been recognized by mental health professionals and psychologists.

This phenomenon will occur as a means to avoid traumatic situations such as natural disasters, sexual abuse, motor vehicle accidents, combat experiences, or as a result of other unwanted thoughts. Dissociation can also exist as a symptom of various mental health conditions such as anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and dissociative disorder.

Have you ever been overwhelmed, so much that you may feel threatened or experience difficult feelings, and thereafter be able to disconnect from them? Anecdotally, this could be a form of dissociation.

Why Do We Use Defense Mechanisms

Some defense mechanisms can be a TEMPORARY helpful tool for managing stress or difficult emotions. They can provide temporary relief from unpleasant thoughts or certain feelings and help to reduce anxiety in the short term. Additionally, defense mechanisms can help to reveal any underlying issues that may need to be addressed more directly.

By becoming aware of defense mechanisms, we can learn how to develop healthier coping strategies and create lasting change.

Excessive use of defense mechanisms can lead to long-term emotional problems and interfere with our ability to connect deeply with others and form meaningful relationships. If defense mechanisms are used as a way to avoid or deny reality, it can prevent us from effectively addressing difficult issues or developing healthy coping strategies. Additionally, defense mechanisms can create an unhealthy cycle where we rely on them instead of facing our uncomfortable emotions directly.

How to Know if You’re Using a Defense Mechanism

Defense mechanisms can be a useful tool for managing stress and anxiety when used in moderation. But when they’re overused or used in an unhealthy way, they can become problematic. This is why it’s important to be aware of the defense mechanisms you use and how they may be impacting your behavior.

Take a closer look at the ways you respond to challenging situations or stress. If you notice any repeated patterns, it might be worth exploring these further. If your defense mechanisms are causing more harm than good, seeking professional help from a therapist or mental health expert may be a good idea.

How Do You Break Defense Mechanisms?

Here are some useful tips for gaining control over your defense mechanisms:

1. Be mindful of warning signs in your behavior and thoughts.
2. Investigate your childhood and past experiences to gain insight into your actions.
3. Avoid blaming others for your mistakes and situations.
4. Take ownership of your thoughts and actions.
5. Allow yourself to experience and process negative emotions, even if it means crying.
6. Challenge yourself by consciously choosing the opposite response to your impulses.
7. Incorporate mindfulness and meditation into your routine.
8. Embrace your emotions rather than suppressing them.
9. Consider seeking guidance from a relationship coach to develop healthier coping strategies.

When To Seek Professional Help With Your Defense Mechanisms

If these behaviors are becoming a problem or preventing you from addressing underlying issues and root causes of unhealthy behavior, it may be beneficial to get help from us.

At PIVOT, we offer relationship coaching services to help you identify the challenges that are getting in the way of you feeling good about yourself and the relationships in your life. We also help you build and maintain a healthy muscle to respond to those spontaneous impulses in a way that will protect you and the people around you using our evidence-based PIVOT process that has helped tens of thousands of individuals just like you.