Relationship Affection: How Important Is It?

Being affectionate, loving, and caring in your relationship is a vital aspect of it that, when lacking, can not only cause other problems to appear, such as experiencing profound relationship sadness or being part of an increasingly apathetic relationship. And that is why it is a  good idea to deal with potential issues in your relationship as soon as you see them arise.

However, sometimes it is simply not possible to resolve certain relationship problems alone with your partner, and there comes a time when it seems the only thing that remains is to attend a relationship building skills workshop. While this is a good idea, as professional coaches can really help, it doesn’t hurt to learn more about what lack of affection can do to a relationship.

How Important Is Affection In A Relationship?

Affection is very important in a relationship, as it helps both partners experience an increased sense of harmony, love, and mutual understanding. Giving, as well as receiving affection, simply helps create a safer and more caring relationship.

And that goes for all aspects of affection, not just physical and sexual intimacy. Emotional affection is equally important as its physical counterpart, and some would argue that there is no true physical affection without emotional one.

So, affection is important, and not just because of the reasons already mentioned. There’s more to why affection is so important:

  • It releases plenty of feel-good hormones.
  • Affection helps create a more trusting relationship.
  • Physical affection helps reduce blood pressure.
  • Being affectionate with your partner reduces stress hormones.
  • Increased affection can be associated with increased relationship satisfaction.

Why Can’t I Show Affection To My Partner?

Why Can’t I Show Affection To My Partner

Experiencing inability to express affection towards your partner can be very detrimental to your relationship, especially if the issue persists for prolonged periods of time. However, being aware of this fact does little to help you overcome the problem of not showing affection. 

That is why, to begin with, it is important to become aware of several common reasons why you might be unable to express affection to your partner. Potentially succeeding in identifying the underlying cause of your inability to show affection is the first step in working towards resolving that problem.

  • You might be dealing with high levels of anxiety that are preventing you from being affectionate with your partner.
  • You could have a lower need level when it comes to expressing affection, which stops you from giving your partner the affection they need.
  • You may have a different preconception of what expressing affection looks like and what affection actually is. 
  • You might currently be affected by a recent difficult situation you have experienced which is stopping you from being affectionate. 
  • You could be feeling the negative effects of a hidden medical or psychological condition that requires assistance from a professional.

Is It Normal To Have No Affection In A Relationship?

Talking in terms of normal and not normal or abnormal is neither correct nor suitable terminology when discussing anything related to relationship issues. All people are unique, and so are their relationships. What works for one couple may not work for another, and vice versa. 

However, extreme absence of any kind of affection between partners can be increasingly detrimental to any relationship, as it is usually a sign of a different underlying issue that can leave more serious consequences. These are some of the most usual reasons behind lack of affection in a relationship:

  1. Difference in boundaries

    Sometimes, not showing affection can have its root in previous failed attempts by one of the partners that originated due to different internal boundaries concerning showing affection.

  2. Feeling too comfortable

    Being overly comfortable can lead to one or both partners beginning to neglect showing affection to each other. 

  3. Experiencing improper balance

    Current lack of affection can easily be caused by one or both partners focusing on other aspects of their lives, leaving little time to pay attention to being affectionate with each other. 

  4. Fearing intimacy

    It is quite common for a person to fear being affectionate with their partner, which stems from their potentially unresolved fears of intimacy, as they perceive intimacy and affection as connected, which they certainly can be. 

  5. Personal insecurities

    Finally, an individual could be experiencing personal insecurities that can negatively affect their relationship by preventing them from showing affection to their partner. 

Can Lack Of Affection Ruin Relationships?

Yes, lack of affection can negatively impact any relationship, and it can eventually lead to one or both partners beginning to lose connection to each other, which can inflict serious repercussions to any relationship.

Experiencing lack of affection is a pretty common occurrence. However, allowing it to persist and not finding a solution can cause the flame of love to become smaller, eventually leading to more serious problems that could potentially ruin a relationship. That is why it is a good idea to address relationship problems as they arise. 

Join A Couple Relationship Management Workshop At Pivot And Resolve Your Issues

Is It Normal To Have No Affection In A Relationship

Missing affection in a relationship is a problem that can affect both partners equally and that can lead to many other issues rearing their ugly heads and causing additional problems that might become too much to deal with at a certain point. That is why it is important to react on time and attempt to deal with the lack of affection between you and your partner. 

Some people perceive lack of fondness and tenderness to be less serious than other problems in a relationship, such as being involved in an overly toxic relationship or constantly experiencing relationship dishonesty from your partner. However, while not having sufficient affection might seem like an issue easily resolved, it’s anything but.

That is why PIVOT has designed both individual emotional coaching workshops, as well as group emotional issues workshops. We want to give you options and space to choose the type of workshop that would best suit you and your partner. Our experienced coaches will give it their all to help you with your relationship problems. Reach out to us today!

Unhappy Relationships: When Is The Time To Give Up?

Unhappiness in a relationship takes on many forms and originates for a variety of reasons. Sometimes, couples are unhappy because they feel bored in a relationship, or because both partners have lost the physical spark they used to have. At other times, there may be extreme jealousy present in the relationship, or perhaps a severe case of emotional manipulation. And, what is not spoken about often is that the unhappiness is generated from their own family of origin complications that have not been individually worked out. 

Some problems that make a relationship unhappy are normal and easy to resolve, while others require a lot of time, effort, and maybe help from professional relationship intimacy coaching experts. However, you first get more familiar with the characteristics of an unhappy relationship, and when it is time to leave for good.

What Does a Healthy Relationship Feel Like?

There is much talk about unhealthy, toxic, and unsafe relationships, and it is sometimes difficult for people to let go of a few relationship negatives and become aware that they are actually in a healthy and happy relationship. 

That is why it is also important to recognize which emotions are good in a relationship, and what are the positive aspects of being in a relationship that you can expect to experience on a daily basis. Here are some of the important characteristics of a happy relationship:

How Do You Know If You’re Unhappy In Your Relationship
  • There is mutual respect for space and privacy.
  • You and your partner understand each other’s needs.
  • You and your partner are able to spend quality time with friends and family.
  • You are comfortable enough to share and express feelings and opinions.
  • You feel physically and emotionally safe and comfortable with your partner.
  • You enjoy the time you spend together and are able to spend quality time apart.
  • You are able to resolve conflicts without hurting each other’s feelings.
  • You feel comfortable being honest with your partner. 
  • There is forgiveness if a partner makes and admits a mistake.
  • You and your partner have mutual tolerance for certain issues and problems.

What Are The Foundations Of A Healthy Relationship?

Every happy and healthy relationship resides on strong foundations. There are certain aspects of a relationship that allow you to build upon and continue to thrive both as an individual who is in a relationship and as a couple looking forward to a life spent together.

  1. Boundaries

    Mutual respect for each other’s boundaries and habits is favorable.

  2. Communication

    This is an important cornerstone of every healthy relationship.

  3. Trust

    It is essential to build trust with your partner in a happy relationship.

  4. Consent

    There needs to be consent for the things you and your partner do together. 

How Do You Know If You’re Unhappy In Your Relationship?

It is not easy to become aware of the fact that you might be unhappy in your relationship. Healthy families can be happy and also have ways to navigate the challenges that arise. When your family has many conflicts that are not resolved, the difficulties suffocate the chance to be happy.  

The same goes for relationships. There are many reasons why you might be unhappy in a relationship, and it is difficult to correctly assess them. However, there are some signs that indicate you’re not happy with your relationship. Let’s see what they are:

  • Your family, friends, and other interests keep taking priority over your partner.
  • There are few or no dedicated date nights for getting emotionally and physically intimate.
  • You or your partner are experiencing constant criticism. 
  • There is little or no gratitude in your relationship. 
  • Your sex life is not what it used to be. 
  • You’re finding it hard to say nice things about your relationship. 
  • You feel more and more alone each day.
  • There is hidden or open contempt between your partner and you.
  • You’re experiencing problems with stonewalling.
  • You’re starting to live a parallel life separate from your partner. 
  • Both you and your partner tend to hold grudges. 
  • There is a constant blame game going on between you and your partner. 
  • You or your partner seem to be picking fights on purpose. 

Why Do I Stay In A Relationship That Makes Me Unhappy?

Perhaps you’re not leaving your relationship because you’re not aware of just how unhappy in your relationship you are. You may also have an old wound of abandonment or neglect that you are protecting from surfacing if you would choose to leave. However, sometimes individuals realize they are not part of a happy and healthy relationship, and they still refuse to leave. Here are some of the reasons why you might still be part of a relationship you know is not healthy:

  • You feel like you’ve invested too much in the relationship and you’re not willing to see all your time and effort go to waste. 
  • Your feeling of self-worth is very low, which negatively affects your relationship standards, keeping in a bad relationship. 
  • You’re frightened of the alternative and of the unknown of being outside of a poor relationship you’re familiar with. 
  • Your partner is implementing methods of emotional and mental manipulation that make it difficult for you to leave without feeling guilty. 
  • You’re using once-present love and affection as an excuse to remain in the relationship and await for their potential return. 

When It Might Be Time to Give Up On A Relationship

Sometimes, all the effort and the love you put into a relationship is not enough to see it succeed and thrive. As difficult as it is, the best solution to the way you’re feeling could be to finish your relationship. 

However, making that decision is not easy, and you might not know what the tipping point for ending a relationship is. There are also factors that are important to consider which is why getting help to discern whether or not to leave is key.  Sometimes the relationship needs to have a hard reset.  This is possible and relationships can get a boost that results in a new beginning. 

Take a look at some of the signs it is time to exit a relationship:

  • You spend more time living in your past memories than enjoying the present. 
  • Your relationship is starting to bring more pain into your life than it does joy. 
  • Your partner is expecting you to change every little thing about yourself. 
  • You constantly have to justify your partner’s actions to yourself and others. 
  • You’re experiencing emotional, verbal, or physical pain from your partner. 
  • Your partner is putting little or no effort into your relationship. 
  • You do not share fundamental beliefs and values. 
  • You feel that your relationship is starting to hold you back. 
  • You’re constantly hoping for things to get better, yet they don’t. 
  • You simply do not feel the same way about your partner as you used to. 

PIVOT Relationship Intimacy Coaching Will Help You With Relationship Unhappiness

There are many reasons for relationship unhappiness. Some of them might be easy to detect, understand, and resolve, while others turn out to be a lot more difficult to identify and eliminate from your relationship. Feeling happy in a relationship is one of the things that makes it beautiful, and once that seems to disappear, it is easy to start thinking about ending the relationship. 

Why Do I Stay In A Relationship That Makes Me Unhappy

However, sometimes it is entirely possible to resolve problems causing an unhappy relationship, although it might take professional help to do so. Instead of giving up, why not reach out to experienced relationship intimacy coaching experts at PIVOT?

PIVOT is a retreat for struggling couples that provides understanding and love, and our qualified relationship advocates are here to help you get over your hurdles and find happiness with each other once again. We design group emotional intimacy sessions for couples, as well as individual emotional intimacy coaching workshops. Depending on your own needs and preferences, you can choose an option you feel comfortable with. Contact us today!

Apathy In Relationships: Causes & Solutions

Have you lost interest in things you once used to enjoy? Do you feel like you have no motivation to do anything in your life? 

It is perfectly normal to experience bouts of apathy every once in a while, but when it occurs often, it can have a significant impact on your overall quality of life, including your relationships and work performance. Emotional intimacy coaching and other forms of support can make a big difference if you’re feeling apathetic, so don’t hesitate to reach out. 

In the meantime, read on to find out more about apathy and how you can overcome it. 

What Does It Mean To Feel Apathetic?

What Is The Root Of Apathy

Apathy is defined as a lack of interest or motivation in activities and/or interactions with other people. When you feel apathetic, you don’t feel much of anything – activities that you used to enjoy no longer excite you and make you happy. You might lack the desire to achieve your goals or perform activities that involve your emotions or thoughts. 

While apathy literally means to be “without feeling”, it is nevertheless a feeling itself, as well as an attitude. Unfortunately, this attitude is one of unconcern, dispassion, indifference, listlessness, and detachment. You lack interest to confront the challenges in your life and turn to a life of passivity. 

The common theme that clients share when they are feeling apathy is “it’s hopeless”. 

While most people experience apathy from time to time, it is important to seek support if apathy pervades your life. If not dealt with, apathy can affect your social, professional, and romantic relationships. You may withdraw and distance yourself from your partner and become unhappy in your relationship, struggle to keep a job, or be unable to enjoy life in general. 

Symptoms Of Apathy 

You may be experiencing apathy if you: 

  • Lack the energy to perform everyday tasks
  • Expect other people to initiate or plan activities
  • Lack the motivation to deal with your own problems 
  • Lack the desire to have new experiences, make new friends, or learn new skills
  • Don’t feel any emotions when bad or good things happen to you 

What Is The Root Of Apathy?

People can fall into apathy for a wide variety of reasons. Some common causes include: 

  • Negative feelings and thoughts about yourself: when you feel worthless, useless, incompetent, and generally pessimistic about your life and abilities for a while, it is likely that you might move on to apathy and detachment. 
  • Major life events: feelings of distress, anger, and sadness caused by major events such as breaking off a toxic relationship or getting fired from a job can turn into apathy. Instead of feeling upset or angry, you are completely indifferent. 
  • Being stagnant in your life: if you’re stuck in a boring routine, working 9-5 shifts and performing the same activities every single day, it is easy to forget about your goals and dreams and then feel like you are not living your best life. 
  • Feeling worn down or overwhelmed: apathy can also arise from situations and events that leave you feeling overwhelmed, not bored. Nevertheless, you’re still left with detachment, low energy, and indifference. 
  • Mental health issues: apathy can also be a symptom of neurological and psychiatric disorders such as anxiety, depression, schizophrenia, Alzheimer’s, stroke, and others. This is why it is essential to seek support for your apathy sooner rather than later. 

Does Apathy Go Away?

It is entirely natural to feel apathetic at some point in your life, especially after a distressing event or prolonged periods of loneliness and boredom. For most people, however, apathy goes away with time, and they become motivated to chase their goals and maintain relationships once again.  

If the apathy is chronic, on the other hand, it may pervade your life and keep you from improving your life. The longer you remain stuck in your feelings of detachment, passivity, and indifference, the harder it will be for you to break the bubble. Fortunately, you can fight apathy with appropriate help and guidance, and perhaps with a little push from the people around you. 

How Do You Fix Apathy In A Relationship?

If you’ve been feeling bored in your romantic relationship or detached from your partner, you may be wondering if it’s better to leave and start over or work on your feelings of apathy to bring the spark back. Here’s how you can deal with apathy in your relationship:

Determine The Problem

What are the bad habits that allowed apathy to seep into your relationship? Think about how you communicate with your partner, how you feel about them, and what you think they feel about you. Are there some clear patterns that you’d like to change? Try to pinpoint when and how apathy started to grow. 

Discuss 

Make sure to speak openly with your partner about your feelings of apathy. Tell them how you’re feeling without guilt or blame, and discuss ways in which both of you could make the relationship work. Also, make sure to listen to your partner’s side of the story without placing blame and engaging in personal attacks. 

Engage In New Experiences

New activities and changed routines can help shake things up and hopefully allow you to overcome your feelings of apathy. Whether it’s going on a vacation or going on dates, try bringing something new into the relationship and try to reconnect with your partner. 

Dream Together 

How long has it been since you and your partner had a mutual dream you set out to accomplish? Discuss your long-term plans and wishes with your partner and try to create a dream that motivates the both of you. 

Attend A Relationship Workshop 

There are numerous workshops and retreats designed to help couples reconnect and deepen emotional intimacy. If you’ve been feeling apathetic, attending one of these specialized workshops may be exactly what you need. 

We Bring You Expert Solutions For Building Intimacy In A Relationship

Does Apathy Go Away

If you’ve been feeling disconnected, disengaged, and indifferent, know that you are not alone. At PIVOT, we provide individuals and couples with tailored guidance and support that can help them find the motivation to facilitate positive change. 

Our dedicated staff can help you heal through specialized individual coaching as well as a range of intensive workshops for deepening relationships. Get in touch with PIVOT today and start building a better future for yourself and your loved ones.

Empathy: All You Need To Know

Depending on who you ask, it’s likely that you’ll run into a number of different definitions of empathy. Still, most of them would agree to the following statement, or at least a variation of it: Empathy can be defined as the capacity to understand and feel what another person is experiencing. 

It is an attempt to better understand what another person is feeling and thinking, without sharing the same circumstances or experiences. Essentially, when you feel empathy, you’re trying to see a situation from another person’s perspective and feel how it makes them feel. 

Empathy is necessary for building healthy relationships and avoiding emotional intimacy issues. It helps you connect and relate to others in a meaningful way, thus facilitating lasting social and professional relationships. 

What Type Of Emotion Is Empathy?

What Are The 3 Types Of Empathy

Empathy is a broad concept that usually refers to the emotional and cognitive reactions of a person to the perceived experiences of another person. It is not a single emotion, but rather an ability to understand the emotions of others, trying to perceive the situation from their point of view. Empathy essentially refers to the capacity to put yourself in someone else’s shoes and understand the intentions, perspectives, and needs of others. 

What Are The 3 Types Of Empathy?

Not everybody experiences the same levels and kinds of empathy. In fact, psychologists suggest that there may be three distinct types of empathy:  

Emotional Empathy

Emotional empathy, otherwise known as affective empathy, is usually the first kind of empathy people experience as children. If you are able to literally feel the emotions of another, as if you’d “caught” them, you are experiencing emotional empathy. Because of its nature, emotional empathy is also known as “emotional contagion” or “personal distress”. 

Cognitive Empathy 

Cognitive empathy is when you are able to put yourself in the other person’s shoes and take their perspective, without necessarily feeling their emotions. It is defined by understanding the emotions of others on an intellectual level. Cognitive empathy can be seen as “empathy by thought” instead of feeling. 

Compassionate Empathy

The third type of empathy is known as compassionate empathy. It is when you are able to both feel and understand someone’s pain and take action to help them. Also known as empathic concern, this type of empathy motivates you to either take action to help another person or help them resolve the problem. 

People have the capacity to experience all these three types of empathy. While cognitive and emotional empathy can have immense value, they are sometimes not enough for facilitating change and building strong personal relationships. 

Imagine that your friend has experienced a loss in their family. If you experience only cognitive empathy, you’ll be able to understand their grief and pain, but may not be motivated to help. With emotional empathy, you might be brought to tears and get paralyzed by your friend’s pain.

Compassionate empathy, however, means that you understand and feel the pain of your friend, but also feel motivated to take action to help them. For instance, you may cook them a meal or spend more time with them to make them feel less lonely. 

Can You Feel Sympathy Without Empathy?

Many people are confused by the difference between empathy and sympathy, and for a good reason. These two words are tightly related, but not interchangeable. At its simplest form, sympathy can be defined as feeling sorrow and pity for another person’s misfortune without necessarily cognitively understanding their pain and feeling motivated to help. If you experience sympathy, you may feel care or concern for others, but may not share their distress. 

You can feel sympathy without empathizing with someone. Empathy, on the other hand, usually entails some form of sympathy, in addition to the shared perspective or shared emotions one feels when they experience cognitive or emotional empathy. 

Can You Lose Your Empathy?

There are several circumstances in which a person may “lose” empathy. Here are some examples: 

  • You may be pushing your emotions away and numbing out. If you’ve felt apathetic for a while, because of depression or other life circumstances, you may also lose your ability to empathize with other people.
  • Gradually losing empathy can be a symptom of compassion fatigue, a condition characterized by physical and emotional exhaustion that decreases one’s ability to empathize. This is particularly common in nurses, caregivers, and other vocations that entail helping other people and being exposed to their pain. 
  • Certain psychological disorders can also cause a lack of empathy. These can be a result of early childhood experiences, physical or psychological trauma, genetics, disease, or brain damage. 

Can A Person Without Empathy Love?

Love doesn’t necessarily include empathy. For instance, you may care for your partner and wish to nurture a lasting relationship with them, but fail to understand their needs. Lacking empathy doesn’t mean that you’re entirely emotionless, it simply means that you are unable to understand and share the feelings and needs of your partner. 

Nevertheless, empathy is crucial for making personal relationships thrive. In order to revive your dying relationship, you and your partner would benefit from  learning how to truly understand each other and empathize with one another . Unless you’re moving forward with both your needs and those of your partner in mind, your relationship will be at risk to end. 

Are You Experiencing Intimacy Problems In A Relationship? Contact PIVOT Now! 

Can You Feel Sympathy Without Empathy

If you are motivated to better understand and help the people around you, receiving guidance and support from professionals can be of immense help. At PIVOT, we are dedicated to helping our clients overcome their emotional issues and heal their core wounds with compassion and commitment. We are here to provide you with the tools and resources you need to understand yourself and others and facilitate positive behavioral change. 

We offer both compassionate and comprehensive individual coaching sessions and relationship-building workshops and retreats that can help you improve your relationships and your emotional wellbeing. Speak with a PIVOT consultant today and begin your journey to achieving emotional balance. 

How To Nurture Respect In Relationships

Respect is a crucial part of any relationship. If you respect your partner, you are able to recognize them as a whole person with different experiences, needs, and opinions from you. You value and understand their perspective, which enables you to show empathy in your relationship and make your partner feel loved.

If you feel like your partner doesn’t respect you or you suspect that you may not respect them as you should, attending a relationship building skills workshop may provide you with the guidance you need to improve your relationship. 

Keep reading to learn more about what respect means in a relationship and how you can nurture it. 

What Does Respect Mean In A Relationship?

Can You Love Without Respect

Most people are brought up perceiving respect as a good thing, a thing to strive for. However, not everyone is able to show respect, and many may not understand what it actually means. Respect doesn’t simply mean obeying your parents or being polite to elders. Respect in its truest form means validating another person and making them feel safe in the relationship. Here’s how respect manifests itself in relationships: 

Respecting Your Partner’s Boundaries

In a healthy relationship, both partners respect each other’s boundaries. Whether these boundaries have to do with physical intimacy or craving alone time, honoring them is crucial for nurturing a lasting and respectful relationship. 

Admitting When You’re Wrong And Making Compromises 

When you respect your partner, understanding them means more to you than having to be right. If you’re confident in your self-worth, you won’t have trouble admitting when you are wrong. And even if you’re right, it is important to be willing to compromise or agree to disagree without devaluing your partner’s needs and opinions. 

Treating Your Partner As You’d Like To Be Treated 

Remember that Golden Rule we heard growing up? Treat others the way you want to be treated. This ensures equal treatment and fosters healthy growth. If you follow this Golden Rule, you’ll show your partner that you respect them and build a solid foundation for a lasting relationship. 

Valuing Your Partner 

Valuing your partner’s opinions is a crucial part of respect. This means listening to your partner, even if you disagree, understanding where they are coming from, and being able to respond to them without defensiveness and blame. 

Can You Love Without Respect?

Many people consider love to be the key part of any relationship. While love is undoubtedly important, respect may play an even greater role. You may feel passion and love towards your partner, but lack respect for their opinions, needs, and wishes. 

The difference between love and respect is not that difficult to understand. Think about it – you may have respect for a person you don’t know that well if you recognize their good qualities. Similarly, you can also love the person closest to you dearly, but not respect them for their life choices. If you wish to nurture positive and long-lasting relationships, a combination of love and respect is necessary.   

Can You Regain Respect In A Relationship?

If you feel like your partner doesn’t respect you, it is only natural that you’d feel frustrated or sad in your relationship. You may feel like they don’t value you and your opinions, capabilities, and choices. If this is the case, you may be wondering if it’s possible to bring back respect into your relationship and create a stronger foundation for your relationship. 

While not all relationships can be saved, it is definitely possible to regain respect from your partner. In order for your relationship to thrive, however, both you and your partner will have to be willing to listen and open up, working together to improve the aspects of your relationship that don’t benefit one or both of you. 

How Do You Feel Respected In A Relationship?

In order to get your partner to respect you more, you’ll have to be willing to openly discuss your needs and concerns with them. Here’s how you can do that: 

  • Speak up: you can’t expect your partner to meet your needs and respect you if they don’t know what you’re thinking. They may not even be aware that you think they don’t respect you. Make sure to discuss with them honestly, without placing blame and starting a fight. 
  • Work on your independence: being independent means that you can be successful and happy on your own and be self-sufficient. This doesn’t mean that you don’t need your partner at all, but only that you possess autonomy that your partner is sure to admire and respect you for.  
  • Respect yourself first: you can’t expect anybody to respect you if you don’t respect yourself. Do you value your own abilities and opinions? Do you see yourself as a worthy and capable person? If not, it’s unlikely that your partner will either. 
  • Maintain your boundaries: respecting boundaries is a key part of respect. Make sure to keep healthy boundaries and learn to say no to your partner if they try to cross the line. Keep in mind that respect goes both ways – you should respect your partner’s boundaries as well. 
  • Follow the Golden Rule: if you wish your partner to treat you with respect, make sure to treat them the same way. Unless you approach your relationship with compassion and commitment, your partner will be unlikely to do the same. 
  • Keep your promises: if you tell your partner that there will be consequences for something they did, but don’t follow through, they probably won’t take you seriously. This holds true for more positive promises as well.  
  • Don’t be afraid to walk away: if you’ve done all you can to improve your relationship but nothing has changed, it may be time to consider leaving the relationship. After all, the relationship may be toxic and you might be wasting precious energy on trying to make it work. 
  • Seek guidance from experts: on a more positive note, many relationships can be greatly improved through expertise-based coaching and guidance. If you feel like your partner doesn’t respect you enough, but they may be willing to change, consider attending a couples retreat. 

Build Respect And Trust In Your Relationship By Attending A PIVOT Workshop

Can You Regain Respect In A Relationship

At PIVOT, we work hard to provide our clients with the support and advice they need to better their relationships and improve their emotional wellbeing. Empower yourself through our individual coaching or build better relationship skills in one of our retreats and workshops. Contact PIVOT today and get the love and respect you deserve. 

Feeling Sad In A Relationship For No Reason? Here’s What To Do

When you are in a loving and stable relationship with a person you can rely on, there should be no reason to feel down, right? Yet, sadness can creep into even the happiest of relationships, and that is entirely normal, even if there are no specific reasons why one or both of the partners are feeling sad. 

And, often the sadness can be a deep generational pain that is carried forward from a complex family system that you are born into. 

It is important to understand that it is okay to not always be happy in your relationship. Anxiety, depression, and various life circumstances can cause anyone to feel sad, however loving, caring, and kind the people around you are. 

Of course, this does not mean that you shouldn’t ask yourself if it is your relationship that is making you unhappy. After all, some relationships can be quite toxic, causing distress and unhappiness for one or both parties involved. If you and your partner are struggling to make it work and you’re feeling down because of it, there are numerous private couple retreats for reconnection that may help you overcome your problems and bring the balance back. 

Is It Okay To Be Sad In A Relationship?

Negative emotions are an integral part of our psychological makeup. While you may be able to allay some of them using distractions and various coping mechanisms, others may be incredibly hard to ignore. What’s more, suppressing negative feelings can have serious consequences on your mental health and general life enjoyment. 

How Do I Tell My Partner I Am Struggling

All of this is to say that feeling sad is perfectly okay, even if you can’t tell the exact reason for your low mood. Your emotions are valid, and ignoring them is unlikely to make you feel better in the long run. 

Additionally, accepting your sadness can give you a chance to slow down, reflect, and come to terms with your situation. It is a complex and essential emotion that helps us focus, adapt, accept, and grow. 

If you are in a loving relationship, your partner will most likely try to understand your feelings and support you, or at least give you space to work it through. On the other hand, your sadness can change your perception and affect your relationship in a variety of ways, creating potential difficulties for both you and your partner. This is why reaching out to professionals is often the best idea if you feel like your negative emotions are impacting your relationship. 

How Do I Tell My Partner I Am Struggling?

As hard as it may sound, speaking up about your negative feelings and the way they affect you can help your partner better understand you and find ways to help you. Whether you’re dealing with general feelings of apathy or struggle with anxiety, letting your partner know about your emotions can be beneficial both for the relationship and your emotional wellbeing as a whole. 

Try To Explain Your Feelings 

Chronic sadness and depression can make you feel hopeless, worthless, angry, or perhaps nothing at all. You may also experience physical symptoms, such as sleep disturbances, irritability, and more. When speaking to your partner, try to be as specific as you can be in explaining your feelings and thoughts. 

Be Honest And Open 

Lying to your partner about how you really feel may only cause further feelings of guilt, shame, and dissatisfaction. Make sure to show your partner that you respect them and value their opinions by explaining your genuine feelings and trying not to keep any secrets. 

Be Prepared For Questions 

Once you tell your partner how you feel, it is likely that they’ll have at least a couple of questions. Be prepared to address your partner’s concerns calmly, without getting annoyed or withdrawing from the conversation. 

Tell Them How They Can Help 

In order to help you, your partner needs to understand how they can do that. You can help them help you by being honest and explaining to them exactly what they can do to make you feel better in any given situation. Making it clear that you are not placing unrealistic expectations on them.  The best way your partner can support you is to listen and encourage you to get professional help if the feelings persist.

Seek Help Together 

At the end of the day, your partner might not be able to provide you with the support you need to get better, and that is okay. As long as both of you are willing to put in the effort to make things work, you can make things better by attending a relationship workshop or visiting a couples retreat together. 

How Do You Deal With Sadness In A Relationship?

Everybody deals with sadness differently. Some withdraw from the people closest to them, while others like to talk about their worries openly. Here are some general tips on dealing with sadness in a healthy manner: 

  • Let yourself feel the sadness: suppressing your negative emotions may work for a little while, but won’t help you in the long run. If you feel like crying, cry. Allow yourself to feel sad. 
  • Express your emotions: depending on your preferences and situation, you can try to express your sadness through journaling, listening to music, drawing, painting, or spending time with family or friends. 
  • Think about why you’re feeling sad: try to determine the cause of your sadness. Is there any specific event that made you feel sad? Think about how you feel without judgment and see where your thoughts take you. 
  • Consider possible changes: sometimes, people feel sad because they subconsciously feel like something in their life needs to change. Consider that possibility and think about any potential paths for improving your relationships and overall quality of life. 
  • Know when to seek help: if you feel down while you’re with your partner most of the time, it may be time to take a step forward and speak with a compassionate expert who can help you get a new perspective and uncover ways to improve your relationship. 

Attend A PIVOT Couples Retreat & Relationship Workshop Today

How Do You Deal With Sadness In A Relationship

At PIVOT, we strive to help couples and individuals overcome relationship issues and find happiness in their day to day life. Our highly rated individual coaching sessions and relationship workshops are designed to help you heal by understanding your core relationship wounds and finding ways to facilitate positive change. 

If you are ready to take the first step towards modifying your behavioral patterns and building happier relationships, contact PIVOT today. 

Toxic Relationships: What Are They & Why Is It Hard To Leave?

There are many ways to describe toxic relationships. Perhaps you or your partner are very angry in your relationship, or there is excessive codependency between partners. Sometimes, relationship toxicity stems from the fact that there are instances of serious dishonesty, or your partner has begun to stonewall you. It is not always easy to identify the causes of a toxic relationship, which is one of the reasons they are so difficult to heal. 

If you are struggling in your relationship, it’s important to learn more about what a toxic relationship is and what can cause it. This can help you understand more about the situation you’re in, and how to deal with it. However, if you still find yourself unable to adequately pinpoint the characteristics of your potentially toxic relationship, it’s a good idea to give remote relationship coaching a try.

What Is A Toxic Relationship?

Toxic relationships are those relationships that include behaviors by one or both partners that are primarily psychologically damaging, and can also sometimes inflict physical harm. Healthy relationships contribute to partners’ emotional energy and self-esteem, while toxic ones tend to make one or both parties feel inadequate and unhappy.

What Causes A Toxic Relationship

The underlying trait of all toxic relationships is that they are not a safe place for one or both parties involved. Toxic relationships are characterized by feelings of insecurity, dysfunctionality, control, dominance, and other negative emotions that can originate. Constantly feeling negative emotions is what tends to cause mental harm.

Unfortunately, sometimes the toxicity in the relationships transitions into the physical realm as well, which is when one or both parties become behaving violently towards each other. This, coupled with the psychological negativity, is an extremely serious problem that can cause serious consequences. 

What Are The Signs Of A Toxic Relationship?

Sometimes, it is easy to be aware that you’re in a toxic relationship. However, at other times, you might be part of an unhealthy relationship without even knowing it, which can only damage your mental health further. Take a look at some of the telltale signs of toxic relationships: 

  • You seem to be sacrificing your own needs constantly.
  • You start to feel invisible or erased from your relationship.
  • Your relationship is beginning to feel lonely. 
  • It seems you and your partner only bring out the worst in each other.
  • You feel emotionally and physically tired after spending time with your partner.
  • You notice that the giving and the taking in the relationship is uneven. 
  • There are controlling tendencies from one or both partners.
  • There are frequent problems caused by jealousy.
  • You or your partner are experiencing an evident lack of respect.
  • There is emotional, psychological, or physical abuse present.
  • Gaslighting is present in your relationship.
  • There are serious communication problems between you and your partner. 
  • You feel the resentment rising.
  • Only a single person is in charge of making decisions. 

What Causes A Toxic Relationship?

Determining the reason, or reasons, for the toxicity you may be experiencing in your relationships is the first step in trying to resolve the problems that have been plaguing you and your partner. Here are some of the common causes behind toxic relationships:

  1. Insecurity:

    Self-doubt that stems from profound insecurity can lead to overanalysis of every single aspect of your relationship, from body language to words uttered. This can lead to one partner placing constant pressure on even the most common of activities, which results in feelings of uneasiness and even deeper insecurity. If you were neglected or abandoned in your childhood and have not done your family of origin work, you may be putting unrealistic expectations on your partner to heal this old insecurity wound. 

  2. Hot temper:

    People who have a hot temper are susceptible to fits of anger and rage, but also shame and regret, which is an emotional rollercoaster that affects the entire relationship negatively. Also, hurtful words and negative impulsive behavior are also common occurrences. 

  3. Unresolved issues:

    Leaving problems unresolved, both big and small, can lead to you and your partner developing hidden negative sentiments and potentially harboring resentment or guilt. These unfavorable feelings can turn a relationship into a place where both partners no longer feel comfortable. 

  4. Conflict avoidance:

    Sometimes, an open conflict (mature nature) can prove beneficial for a relationship. On the other hand, constantly avoiding conflict and leaving matters without closure can lead to negative feelings piling up, causing more serious problems down the line and leaving one or both partners feeling bad.

There are a lot more causes for relationship toxicity, and not everything can be clearly categorized. The four causes above are just some of the more frequently-encountered triggers of toxic relationships that can be resolved by putting in the effort and the desire. 

Why Is It Hard To Leave A Toxic Relationship?

Although you might be experiencing several signs of relationship toxicity, and you’re aware of the reasons behind it, you’re still not ready to leave and you’re not sure you should. Apart from problems that can be resolved, there are some issues, such as physical abuse, that are serious red flags and that indicate it’s time to leave your partner.

However, even then, not everybody is willing and prepared to abandon their relationship. There are several reasons why leaving a toxic relationship is extremely difficult for some people. Let’s see what they are:

  • Your self-esteem has been severely damaged and you have no strength to leave.
  • You’re trying to be understanding and work on your relationship as much as you can.
  • You’re hoping it’s going to become good again and that things will change for the better.
  • You grew up in a toxic environment and it starts to feel natural.
  • You’ve invested a lot of time and energy and you don’t want to see it go to waste.
  • You cannot imagine being without a partner and returning to being alone. 

PIVOT Codependency Recovery Coaching Can Help You Deal With A Toxic Relationship

What Are The Signs Of A Toxic Relationship

Toxic relationships can be very difficult to deal with, especially if you’re unaware of just how toxic your relationship might have become. Sometimes, all that you do turns out to be insufficient and the toxicity just continues to deepen, negatively affecting your mental state.

If you’re finding yourself unable to identify the underlying causes of the psychological strain your relationship is inflicting upon you, or if you’re aware of the toxicity in your relationship, but don’t know what you can do about it, you can always try coming to PIVOT and undergoing codependency recovery coaching alongside our experienced advocates.

At PIVOT, we specialize at organizing both individual coaching experiences for emotional intimacy, as well as group relationship workshops for both partners. Our experienced and educated relationship advocates are here to do all they can to help you either overcome the hurdles or assist you in knowing when the right time to leave a toxic relationship is. Contact us today and let’s take it from there.