Failing Relationships: What Are The Reasons & How Do You Revive A Relationship?

It is difficult to be part of a failing relationship. Sometimes, relationships can become boring and partners fail to find the lost interest in each other. At other times, partners find it hard to control their emotions, which leads to outbursts that can seriously harm every relationship. Whatever the reason behind a failing relationship, the fact of it being difficult to handle remains.

However, that doesn’t have to be the end. Many relationships go through a couple of rough patches and end up stronger for it. Even problems such as losing attraction to your partner can work out if you give your relationship a chance and resort to professional emotional intimacy coaching. However, it’s always good to first know why you’re experiencing such difficulties.

How Long Does The Average Relationship Last?

Why Do Relationships Fail?

Research shows that the current average length of a relationship is only 2 years and 9 months, which can sound discouraging, unsettling even. However, this kind of relationship average is taken slightly out of context as it can depend on multiple factors such as the age of both partners. There are three main relationship categories based on the age of the partners, and their duration can vary:

  1. 20-year-olds: Young adults aged between twenty and thirty begin to form longer-lasting relationships. Relationships at this age can last as much as four years. However, although generally emotionally mature, individuals of this age are rarely ready to settle down.
  2. 30-year-olds: When individuals hit the age of thirty, the duration of a relationship significantly increases. Generally speaking, this is a time when most people start thinking about settling down with a partner, which leads to a decrease in breakups and increase in relationship longevity.
  3. Older individuals: As individuals get older, the average duration of a relationship increases to ten years or more, as breakups decrease even more. This leads to the conclusion that when relationships and partners pass a certain point, breakups become less likely. 

However, it is worth noting that the average length of a relationship is nothing more than a generalization based on a limited number of samples. The actual duration of a relationship between two individuals depends on many factors, and cannot be precisely quantified.

Why Do Relationships Fail?

Providing a definite conclusion on the reason behind a failed relationship is impossible. All relationships are different, and getting to the bottom of the breakup is a lot more complicated than stating a single reason.

There are several reasons behind failed relationships that seem to come up more frequently than others. While it is not possible to state the single biggest reason behind most breakups, it is worth taking a look at the most commonly stated reasons for relationships not working out.

  1. Lack of trust

    Losing trust in your partner is one of the most common reasons couples break up. When you lose trust in a relationship, you also lose security and safety, which are paramount for success. What’s more, lack of trust can lead to jealousy, emotional detachment, and possessiveness, among other issues.

  2. Priorities and expectations

    Lack of similar priorities in life and relationships, as well as different expectations of a life spent together can lead to couples deciding to end a relationship rather than working on the problems.

  3. Poor communication

    The inability to properly communicate with a partner is one of the biggest reasons behind the challenges that couples experience. Contemptuous communication can easily destroy a once-healthy relationship.

  4. Egocentricity

    Egocentricity can lead to a single partner constantly trying to get their way, leaving the other party feeling increasingly less valuable and respected, which can lead to a relationship breakdown.

  5. Relational mistreatment

    There are various forms of mistreatment in relationships, but they all boil down to repeated physical or mental abuse by your significant other. Every individual wants to be loved and cared for, and when the situation is completely opposite, relationships can end.

  6. Relationship boredom

    Even though dealing with relationship boredom sounds extremely simple, the truth is that all relationship problems are equally difficult in their own right. Sometimes, couples find it too demanding to rekindle the spark, which leads to a breakup.

  7. Financial difficulties

    One of the most frequent reasons behind marital dissolution and failed relationships is financial incompatibility. Sometimes, couples can find a common language when it comes to controlling their finances, which can cause their relationship to end.

What Is The Most Common Reason For Breakups?

As mentioned, providing a single, most common reason behind failed relationships would not only be impossible, but also inconsiderate to couples who are struggling because of different issues.

Relationships differ as much as the individuals in those relationships differ, and everybody perceives problems differently. For some, financial incompatibility is a more substantial problem than poor communication, while their partner could feel the opposite. 

It is important to be aware of the fact that all relationship problems are equally important if they’re causing significant friction between you and your partner. Relationships require work, and even the arguably smallest of problems can cause discontent if left uncommunicated. 

How Do You Revive A Dying Relationship?

Reviving a dying relationship takes an honest desire of both partners, and at times, requires help from a qualified relationship coach.

If you’re noticing that your relationship is starting to struggle, here are some things you can try doing to get it back on track:

  • Admit responsibility if you think you’ve treated your partner poorly.
  • If you or your partner have been dishonest, grant each other an opportunity to win the trust back.
  • Be honest with your emotions instead of bottling them up.
  • Be compassionate and caring towards the person you love.
  • Try to always talk and work out the relationship problems you’re facing.
  • Focus on the good parts of your relationship, instead of being blinded by the bad aspects.
  • Don’t give in to your anger and try to always be respectful to your partner.
  • Do not allow the people outside of your relationship to affect you and your partner’s decisions.
  • Show your partner how much work you’re willing to put into your relationship to make it last. 
  • Try to introduce some changes to your relationship.
  • Set more time to spend with your partner
  • Try to have more affectionate physical contact with your partner. 
  • Communicate all the relationship issues with your partner calmly and honestly.
  • Try to have as much fun together as you can to make your relationship more enjoyable.
  • Don’t shy away from seeking professional help from qualified relationship advocates.

Sign Up For PIVOT Emotional Intimacy Coaching And Overcome Relationship Problems

What Is The Most Common Reason For Breakups?

Being in a relationship that used to be loving, caring, and nurturing, and seeing it failing and crumbling under your feet is an emotionally draining experience that can take its toll on every person. 

However, it’s never too late to try to revive your relationship. There are many options, and joining a private couple retreats for reconnection with your significant other can prove to be what your relationship needed to get back on track. 

PIVOT is the perfect place for you and your partner to reconnect and rekindle the failing flame of your relationship. Our experienced team of relationship advocates provides individual coaching sessions, and we also organize relationship workshops and retreats with qualified and dedicated relationship coaches. Turn to PIVOT and find a common language with your partner again!

Living In The Moment: What Does It Truly Mean?

You’ve probably been told at least once in your life to live in the present moment, or you may have encountered the cliché phrase in a movie or a book. But what does it actually mean to live in the moment? Is it possible to forget about the past and the future and be fully present? 

Whether you’re experiencing relationship problems and struggle to find good solutions or suffer from anxiety and depression, it is easy to become overwhelmed by your emotions and let otherwise enjoyable moments pass by. Instead, we worry about our future or ruminate about the past, losing track of what goes on around us. 

While it is not entirely possible to leave the past behind, and not think about the future at all, there seems to be a definite value in appreciating the present moment.

What Does Living In The Moment Mean?

Why Is Living In The Moment Important?

When you live in the moment, you are fully present and aware of the emotions and thoughts that you have right now. If you’re not present, your thoughts are either turned towards the past or fixated on the future. 

Naturally, it is perfectly normal to think about the past or daydream about the future. Looking back helps us to better understand ourselves and our choices, while looking forward can enable us to plan our next steps and prepare for what’s coming. 

However, when you get caught up in rumination and anxiety, your past or future-oriented thoughts may start to dictate your behaviors and prevent you from thinking realistically about your current situation. 

This is why practicing mindfulness of the present moment can be a valuable tool for combating anxious and regretful thought patterns. 

Why Is Living In The Moment Important? 

While you may not be able to completely avert your thoughts from the past or the future, you can try to center yourself and evaluate your present thoughts and emotions in a realistic way by focusing on the here and now. In fact, being present can help you in a number of ways: 

  • You can only control the present moment. Although you can learn much about yourself from the way you behaved in the past and create a promising plan for reaching your future goals, the present moment is the only moment you can actually control. 
  • You won’t miss out on enjoyable moments. How many times have you heard the phrase, life is short. There is no way of knowing for certain what tomorrow will bring, so cherishing what you have right now and taking advantage of the present possibilities may be your best bet. 
  • It can reduce your stress levels. Practicing mindfulness and learning proper breathing techniques can help combat stress and anxiety. Truly living in the moment is a useful tool for protecting your mental health. 
  • You’ll keep your expectations in check. No matter how thoroughly you plan your future, your plans may not work out the way you imagined them. By being aware of your present realities, you will find it easier to manage expectations and save yourself from disappointment. 
  • It can improve your relationships. Unfortunately, many relationships break apart because one or both partners can’t let go of the past or they’re too focused on planning for the future. When you are present, you’ll be more likely to appreciate the moments you spend with your partner. 

How Do You Learn To Live In The Moment?

Living in the moment sounds relatively simple. And it would be if we only had a switch that can shut off our thoughts or divert them towards the present. Considering that we don’t, true mindfulness may take quite a bit of effort. Here are some tips for staying present: 

  1. Give something your full attention

    Whether it’s playing an instrument, having a personalized mantra, or creating art, focusing your attention on a single activity can help keep your thoughts centered and induce a state of flow. 

  2. Breathe

    Learning good breathing techniques can help you reduce the stress of the present moment and appreciate the here and now. Relax and do nothing for a while, only focusing on your breathing and your bodily sensations. 

  3. Let your thoughts flow

    When you lose yourself in an activity or simply focus on your breathing, your thoughts may create a state of flow or non-thought. You may be still strategizing or planning in the short term, but your thoughts will be focused solely on what you’re doing right now. 

  4. Stay off social media

    While the internet and the social media have their own perks, it can be useful to separate yourself from the constant influx of images and news flooding them every day. This will help you focus inwardly and avoid unnecessary distractions.

  5. Experience your senses

    Your five senses can anchor you in the present moment, preventing the past and the future from overcoming your mind. Listen to the sounds around you, enjoy your food, or feel the heat of the sun. 

How Do You Live In The Moment In A Relationship?

Learning to cherish each moment can also help improve your relationship with your partner. If you spend your time worrying about what you will do next or keep arguing about the past, you may create distance between your partner and yourself.

This is easier said than done. I get it. If you are still trying to resolve attachment wounds from the past, the old memories can come up out of nowhere and hijack your ability to be in the present moment. 

The couples I work with do that often – a dance of anxiety that lifts them out of the present moment or the dance of avoidance that takes them out of the present moment. Resulting in disconnect.

You can focus on the present by: 

  • Engaging in activities that make both of you happy, whether it’s preparing dinner together, watching a movie or going biking. 
  • Set aside some time for relaxation and give your partner the space to do the same 
  • Try not to bring up mistakes from the past and focus on bettering yourself and your relationship right now 
  • Don’t get hung up on what the future holds for your relationship and try to go with the flow 
  • Communicate openly and honestly about what bothers you in the relationship instead of ignoring your emotional needs 
  • Attend relationship building workshops with your partner to deepen and revive your relationship which will make living in the moment together possible

Fix Your Relationship Through An Insightful Intensive Workshop 

How Do You Learn To Live In The Moment

Learning to be mindful of the present moment can take some time, but it’s far from impossible. At PIVOT, we strive to help individuals and couples find balance in their relationships and heal from their past hurts. Whether you’re struggling with angry outbursts or fear getting bored of your relationship, our dedicated advocates can offer valuable tools and resources to help you center yourself and build stronger bonds. 

Our carefully designed coaching techniques and retreats for emotional reconnection may be exactly what you need to find joy in your relationships. Reach out to a PIVOT Coach now! 

The Challenge Of Controlling Emotions In Relationships

Emotions are a curious thing. At times, it can seem like they come out of nowhere, confusing us with their strength and intensity. For instance, you may start crying because you’re mad and get even more angry at yourself because you’ve been taught that tears are reserved for sadness. Or you may snap at your partner for a tiny mistake they made, even though you know that that’s not a particularly reasonable response.

There are numerous reasons why you may let your emotions overwhelm you; you may be struggling with depression or anxiety, or have attachment issues stemming from your childhood of which you’re completely unaware. While codependency coaching and other forms of guidance can be of great help in this regard, it is surely a good idea to learn more about the nature of emotions in the meantime. Read on. 

Can We Control Our Emotions?

Why Is It So Hard To Control My Emotions?

One way to understand emotions is to look at them as your mind’s automatic response to certain stimuli. They are entirely natural, and it’s essential not to see them as either good or bad. In certain situations, an emotion that is often seen as undesirable, such as anger, may be the only natural response. 

Humans are emotional beings, and even if you consciously or subconsciously ignore or detach from your emotions, they will still be there, influencing your behavior in a number of covert ways. Your body does keep the score.  While you may not necessarily be able to control your emotions, you can change the way you react to them. For example, you can choose not to snap at your partner but accept the fact that you feel angry at them and respond in a more balanced manner and try to be a better person in the relationship

Why Is It So Hard To Control My Emotions?

Unfortunately, it is not always easy to process our emotions in a healthy way. If your emotions feel too intense and completely out of control, know that you’re not alone. The important thing is to understand why you feel this way, as there may be a number of underlying reasons why you may be experiencing emotional outbursts such as irritability and fits of crying or anger. These may include: 

  • Lack of sleep: getting enough sleep is essential to our wellbeing. You may feel irritable or overcome by your emotions simply because you haven’t slept enough or slept too much. 
  • Depression & anxiety: along with other mood and personality disorders, anxiety, and depression can cause you to either lose touch with your emotions or succumb to their intensity. Especially if you are in denial of having either or both. 
  • Trusting your thoughts too much: many of us have been taught that reason should be dominant to feeling. Unfortunately, this can lead you to trust your every thought as if it was undoubtedly true, even though it may be damaging to your mental health. 
  • Judging your emotions: emotions are neither good nor bad. They are a natural response to certain situations in your life. Instead of judging them, try accepting them in order to better control your behavior. 
  • Lack of self care: In addition to sleep, your diet and physical activity can also influence your emotional wellbeing. Eating healthy and exercising regularly can do wonders for your mental health. 

While it is entirely natural to experience intense emotions, you may want to reach out to professionals if you feel overwhelmed and unable to escape their influence. Coaching sessions can help you understand why you feel the way you do and guide you towards finding emotional balance. 

Can We Change Our Emotions By Changing Our Thinking?

Logic and emotions often clash, and it’s easy to see our emotions and thoughts as entirely separate. In fact, many people have a strong preference for one or the other in the way they approach life. However, our thoughts and emotions are far more interconnected than you may think. 

Either emotions or thinking by themselves aren’t enough to paint the whole picture. Although you may be inclined to believe that you have full control over your thoughts, the emotions you ignore will find a way to bubble up to the surface and affect your train of thought and behavior. 

Gaining A New Perspective 

The way we feel can influence the way we think, but can the way we think change the way we feel? While you may not be able to control the emotions you experience, you might be able to change the way you perceive them and act upon them. As a matter of fact, your emotions can be a useful guide, providing you with essential information that can help you determine the right course of action. 

Once you stop evaluating your emotions as negative or positive, you may gain a new perspective and understand where they are coming from. This will help you find the balance between reason and emotion and give you more control over your actions. 

How Do You Control Your Emotions In A Relationship?

Frequent emotional outbursts can hurt relationships, especially if your partner doesn’t understand why you react the way you do. But instead of holding back your emotions, you can learn to manage them in a healthy way. Here’s how: 

  1. Slow down

    Try to take a step back whenever you feel angry, sad, or frustrated, however hard it may be. The goal here is to be emotionally proactive instead of reactive.

  2. Give yourself time

    When things get heated, it’s easy to run headfirst into an argument. Instead, you may want to take some time apart and cool down before addressing the problem. 

  3. Explore your emotions

    What are your emotions telling you? Understanding why you feel sad or angry will help you see them more realistically and take appropriate action. 

  4. Question the relationship

    are your emotional needs being met in the relationship? If not, try communicating openly with your partner about what’s actually bothering you once you both cool down. 

Reach Out To A Relationship Coach Online & Gain Insight Into Your Emotions 

Can We Change Our Emotions By Changing Our Thinking?

Achieving emotional balance is not an easy thing to do. Fortunately, you can rely on experienced and committed professionals at PIVOT to help you gain a new perspective on your emotions and take the first step towards healthy emotional management. 

At PIVOT, we offer compassionate and insightful coaching sessions for individuals and couples, as well as a range of transformative relationship-building workshops that can give you the resources you need to build deep and stable connections. Get in touch today! 

Relationship Boredom: Why It Happens & How To Fix It

Relationships can become boring, especially if both partners have started putting less effort into trying to enjoy each other and joint activities. However, being bored doesn’t sound like the biggest of problems and that is precisely why it can become a serious issue.

Boredom is among the most common reasons behind failing relationships, alongside severe emotional distancing between partners, problems with dishonesty in a relationship, and losing attraction to your significant other. This is why it is important to address relationship boredom as soon as you notice this issue.

There are many reasons behind your relationship getting a bit stale, and it is important to identify the root cause in order to start resolving the issue. If you find it difficult to rekindle the joyful spark, an experienced coach can provide professional emotional intimacy coaching that can help you and your partner find excitement again. However, it’s important to understand the reason behind this problem and its possible effects. 

Is It Normal To Be Bored In A Relationship?

Why Does A Relationship Become Boring?

People feel bored all the time and relationships are no exceptions. However, experiencing relationship boredom can feel especially discouraging because it can make you question you and your partner’s compatibility and potential for a lasting loving relationship.

All that said, being bored in a relationship is a normal and common issue that happens to many couples. However, that doesn’t mean that you don’t need to do anything to alleviate the situation and let it unfold on its own. As usual and as frequent boredom in a relationship might be, it is something to pay attention to and attempt to resolve.

Relationship boredom can be a sign of a more serious underlying problem or it can lead to serious relationship issues if left unresolved. That is why it’s important to understand why you’re experiencing relationship boredom and consider implementing methods to deal with it in a healthy, constructive way.

Why Does A Relationship Become Boring?

There are many reasons why relationships can become boring. Discovering and pinpointing the reasons behind the feelings of boredom can greatly help improve your relationship with your partner. Here are some of the most common reasons why couples can go through a period of stagnation:

  1. Going with the flow

    It’s easy to become overly comfortable in a relationship, and that’s not a bad thing. However, it can start posing problems if it leads to long periods of uneventfulness.

  2. Always going on the beaten path

    Some couples find the things they love doing together and then stick to them all the time. It can be very beneficial for relationships to spice things up once in a while.

  3. Forgetting about yourself

    Some individuals lose themselves in relationships, which can cause them to lose their own goals in life, leading to individual boredom that gets transferred to the entire relationship.

  4. Not working on physical intimacy

    It’s easy for sexual encounters to become means to an orgasmic end in relationships. This can lead to a dissatisfying sexual life, which can only enhance the feeling of boredom.

  5. Neglecting emotional intimacy

    Emotional intimacy is just as important as physical intimacy, and relationship stagnation can often be caused by a partner’s inability or unwillingness to share their emotions.

  6. Not sharing hobbies

    Sometimes, relationship boredom can be caused by not having enough activities to share with your partner.

  7. Never having arguments

    Constantly arguing with your partner can be extremely detrimental to a relationship, but so can complacency and constant compromising. It can be healthy to share diverging opinions from time to time and allow both yourself and your partner to express different points of view.

Do Couples Get Tired Of Each Other?

Looking around you, it might be easy to notice couples and spouses who are tired of each other and think of it as an inevitability of life. However, there is no emotional or psychological rule that states that all couples get tired of each other and that there is nothing you can do about it besides waiting for it to happen to you.

The truth is that the majority of couples go through rough patches and experience problems in the relationship. However, the lack of taking action, to resolve the problems that arise, is often the reason behind unhappy or unsuccessful relationships.

So, although some couples do “get tired of each other” and relationship boredom may arise from time to time, that doesn’t immediately mean that your relationship is at its end. Many relationship issues require active involvement, not quitting.

How Do I Fix My Boredom In A Relationship?

If you’re willing to work on and through the feelings of boredom in your relationship, there are several things you can try doing to break up the habit and inspire enthusiasm and excitement:

  • Be honest with your partner about what’s going on and work on it together.
  • Find a way to break up the same old daily routine and spice things up.
  • Try surprising your partner and making the relationship more dynamic.
  • Consider changing your current environment since this can also help with eliminating boredom.
  • Create a bucket list for your relationship consisting of all the things you’d like to do together.
  • Start touching your partner more and show them how you feel through physical intimacy.
  • Go on dates and remember the feeling of first meeting each other.
  • Start flirting with your partner again and revive the lost spark.
  • Consider taking up a new hobby together.

However, you have to be aware of the fact that sometimes, even against you and your partner’s best efforts, boredom will not seem to go away. At these times, you might want to consider truing professional emotional coaching. Experienced relationship advocates can help you find the underlying problem behind this issue and change behavioral patterns that might be the cause.  

Start Rebuilding Intimacy In Your Relationship At PIVOT 

Although experiencing boredom in a relationship does not sound like the most serious problem couples can face, it is still a matter that requires your attention. Being in a boring relationship may cause serious relationship challenges and even breakups. 

Do Couples Get Tired Of Each Other?

However, it is never too late to reconnect with your partner and rediscover the joy and the excitement you once had. Even if you struggle to do it alone, you can always turn to qualified relationship coaches for professional emotional intimacy coaching that will help you with building intimacy and interest in your relationship again.

PIVOT is the ideal place for you and your partner to find the enthusiasm and the elation you once had. Our seasoned and educated relationship advocates organize individual coaching sessions, as well as workshops and retreats for couples. You can place your trust in us to help you and your partner find joy once again. Contact us today!

Why You Cry & When To Seek Help

Crying is an entirely natural aspect of life. Everybody cries, whether it’s at the sight of cute animals, after watching a sad movie, or because of a traumatic or painful experience. Yet, sometimes people cry for no apparent reason, which may result in significant confusion and cause them to wonder if they should reach out to a professional. 

If you have a tendency to cry frequently and wonder why that may be the case, you’re most definitely not alone. In this article, we’ll touch upon some common reasons for crying and help you determine when seeking help from a relationship coach or a similar professional may be the best path to take. 

Why Do I Cry So Easily?

Some individuals cry when they’re stressed, others cry when reading a heart-breaking book. But for some people, tears may start to flow at the mere hint of an aroused emotion. If you feel like your crying is getting out of hand, you may want to consider the following potential reasons: 

Depression 

Depression is a common mood disorder which tends to entail feelings of sadness and hopelessness often lasting for weeks or even months. Some typical symptoms of depression include persistent gloominess and feelings of worthlessness, low energy levels, and concentration difficulties. Your tears be may linked to depression if: 

  • You cry often and easily and usually can’t tell why 
  • You usually don’t cry as much as you do now
  • You have difficulty stopping the tears 

You may be more prone to cry if the symptoms of depression are on the milder side. Severe depression, on the other hand, often causes difficulties with expressing emotions and crying.

Anxiety And Stress

While most people have periods of stress and worry, anxiety disorders tend to cause excessive nervousness and worry on a regular, or even daily basis. If you experience persistent irritability and edigness, muscle tension, concentration difficulties, sleep problems, or fatigue, you may be suffering from an anxiety disorder which might be the cause of your crying. 

Personality And Gender

Why Do I Cry When I'm Angry?

Research shows that gender and personality may have an impact on our tendency to cry. For instance, women seem to cry more frequently than men do. Two possible reasons for this include cultural norms and the fact that testosterone has the potential to inhibit crying. 

In addition to gender differences, empathetic and compassionate individuals may cry more often than people who are not as empathetic. Individuals with anxious, obsessive, or insecure tendencies also seem to cry more easily and often. 

Pseudobulbar Affect (PBA)

A condition known as pseudobulbar affect, or PBA for short, tends to cause uncontrollable emotions that often manifest in laughing, anger outbursts, and crying. These uncontrollable emotions that usually don’t match the feelings and experiences of the individual are also referred to as emotional incontinence. 

PBA is thought to be related to disturbances or injury to parts of the brain which control emotions. Since PBA has similar symptoms to depression, the two are often confused and misdiagnosed. 

Why Do I Cry When I’m Angry?

Have you ever felt tears welling up in your eyes when you’ve heard something that angers you? You just can’t believe how unfair and hurtful the statement is, but when you try to speak, your throat begins to constrict, you feel your face flushing, and the tears start to flow. Why does this happen when you’re not actually sad but furious? 

Angry crying is a normal phenomenon, and it actually has a quite clear explanation. When you feel hurt, betrayed, rejected, or humiliated, you’re likely to feel both angry and sad, often at the same time. In fact, scientists believe that angry crying may have an evolutionary purpose: it serves as a distress signal that provokes helpful behaviors in other people.  

Is Crying A Sign Of Weakness?

Unfortunately, crying is often associated with insecurity and weakness. We are often told to “buck up” and avoid expressing feelings of sadness openly, especially in social or professional circumstances. 

The common conception that crying is a sign of weakness is related to what anthropologists tend to refer to as “display rules”: crying violates our cultural norms for socialization and self-expression. This is why you may be more likely to understand why a person is crying while going through a hard breakup, but get confused and uncomfortable if a coworker or a classmate bursts into tears during a meeting or a lecture. 

While it is understandable why crying in public is taboo, it is unfortunate that expression of sadness is usually seen as a negative, shameful thing. In fact, sadness and crying are an important aspect of life, and embracing them may actually help you to become mentally stronger. Crying is not a symptom of weakness – it shows that you are a human with feelings, however inappropriate or embarrassing they may seem. 

Is It OK To Cry In A Relationship?

We are often taught to believe that crying in front of our partners is a thing to be avoided. Yet, humans are emotional beings with complicated feelings that sometimes need to be expressed to the people in our lives. Here’s why crying in front of your partner can be beneficial: 

  • It may show that you truly care about the relationship 
  • Showing your emotions can help strengthen your relationships 
  • Vulnerability can be a sign of trust and healthy intimacy 

While crying in front of your partner can bring you closer together, frequent heated arguments and crying may be a sign that some of your emotional needs are not met in the relationship. For instance, you may feel bored in your relationship or have trust issues that you may want to work on. Make sure to nurture healthy communication with your partner and consider ways in which you may improve the relationship

Is Crying Good For Your Mental Health?

Research has shown that crying may benefit both your mind and your body. Here are some ways in which crying can be beneficial for physical and mental health: 

  1. It has detoxifying properties

    Tears come in three main forms: reflex, continuous, and emotional. Reflex and continuous tears help keep your eyes safe from infection by lubricating them and clearing out debris. Emotional tears, on the other hand, may help flush out stress hormones and similar toxins from your body. 

  2. It dulls your pain

    Crying for extended periods of time releases endorphins, feel-good hormones that help relieve emotional and physical pain. Endorphins produced by crying have a calming effect that can improve overall wellbeing.

  3. It helps you self-soothe

    Thanks to its calming effects, crying is a highly effective self-soothing mechanism. According to research, tears can activate your parasympathetic nervous system (PNS), which slows your heart rate and helps you rest.

  4. It may improve your mood

    Crying, and especially sobbing, can also help improve your mood. This is because sobbing entails breathing in cool air, which can regulate and lower your brain’s temperature, helping you relax and lifting your spirits. 

  5. It helps restore emotional balance

    Crying is not only a response to sadness; you may also cry when you feel happy, elated, stressed, or scared. Scientists believe that crying can help your body recover from and control strong emotions, restoring your emotional equilibrium. 

  6. It signals distress to others

    The evolutionary purpose of crying has a lot to do with attachment and distress signaling, which are a crucial part of creating social bonds. Thus, crying can help you get the support you need from other people.

  7. It may help you grieve

    Grieving often entails feelings of anger, sorrow, numbness, and guilt. While people differ in their ways of dealing with grief, crying has a universal potential to help you process the complex feelings caused by losing a loved one.

While the benefits of crying are undeniable, it is important to be aware of your emotional state and try to tell when your crying has become extreme. If you cry so frequently that it’s starting to affect your daily life, reaching out to a professional may be the best course of action. 

Seek Support From An Insightful Remote Relationship Coach

Is It OK To Cry In A Relationship?

When you feel vulnerable and alone, there’s no shame in seeking support. If you cry often or struggle with staying anchored in the moment, speaking with a professional may be just what you need to restore emotional equilibrium. 

At PIVOT, we love helping struggling individuals by offering expert relationship coaching designed to improve emotional wellbeing. In addition, we also offer a variety of high-quality relationship retreats and workshops that can help you find balance and happiness. Speak with a PIVOT Advocate today. 

Feeling Numb: Is It Possible To Be Truly Emotionless?

Experiencing intense feelings is an integral part of being human. Our deepest feelings, whether it’s sadness, anger, or joy, power our most interesting and vivid behavior. But what if you feel empty? Is being numb the same as being emotionless? Is it even possible to be entirely emotionless? 

Feeling detached and lacking emotion can be a sign of deep emotional intimacy issues, as well as a range of medical conditions. At times, we may even choose to be emotionless for fear of succumbing to the weight and intensity of our feelings and emotions. In this article, we explore why someone would lack emotion and how one can deal with a person who is experiencing emotional blockage. Keep on reading. 

Can A Person Be Emotionless?

Why Would Someone Hide Their Feelings

Have you ever felt detached and disconnected from your emotions? The answer is probably yes. You may have felt that way when you were overwhelmed with everything going on in your life, and realized at one point that you actually felt nothing. But was that really the case? Were you truly emotionless or were you just bottling up emotions? 

It is entirely normal to detach yourself from your feelings when you are stressed, overwhelmed, or anxious. This does not mean that the emotions aren’t there – you’re simply not acknowledging them, or you may be trying to analyze them objectively and not let them overcome you. 

This is known as emotional detachment, which can be a natural response to a stressful situation. However, emotional detachment can also result from trauma or abuse, as well as be a sign of several psychological conditions, including attachment and personality disorders.  

What Causes A Person To Be Emotionless?

There is a wide range of possible reasons why you may feel numb or emotionless. Here are some of the most common causes of emotional detachment: 

  • Depression: Detachment is a common symptom of depression. When you’re depressed, you may feel little interest in things you used to enjoy, as well as have a sense of general apathy and indifference. 
  • Anxiety: Severe anxiety can also cause you to lose touch with your emotions. Detachment can serve as a protection mechanism for your anxious feelings and thoughts
  • Severe stress: Similarly, lacking emotion can also be a result of overwhelming stress. If you’ve had a stressful period in your life, detaching yourself from your emotions is an entirely natural response. 
  • Medication: Some medication used to treat depression and anxiety can cause emotional detachment. They can affect the way in which your brain processes emotion and mood, causing confusion and apathy. 
  • Abuse: Experiencing physical or emotional abuse and manipulation can cause a variety of issues, including emotional detachment. It is often easier for abuse victims to distance themselves from the experience and the emotions it has caused. 
  • Underlying disorders: Emotional detachment can also be a symptom of certain psychological conditions, such as reactive attachment disorder and several personality disorders. 

Why Would Someone Hide Their Feelings?

At times, we may consciously decide to hide our feelings from others, for one reason or another. Emotional detachment, on one hand, is often a subconscious process – the individual experiencing it may not know why they lack emotion. On the other hand, you may make a conscious effort to hide or ignore your emotions. You may do so because: 

You Don’t Want To Appear Weak 

Openly showing your emotions usually means being vulnerable. It is entirely normal to fear exposing your vulnerabilities to other people, especially if you feel like they would judge you. For this reason, you may choose to hide your anger, fear, sadness, or frustration. 

You Don’t Want To Get Hurt Or Hurt Others

If you want to avoid a painful conflict or put yourself in a situation where you may be emotionally manipulated, you might choose not to react negatively and hide your feelings. You may do so because you have issues with trust or lack faith in your conflict resolution abilities. 

You Lack Confidence 

If you’ve had your feelings invalidated since a young age, it’s possible that you’ve also learned to conceal them. Your parents or caregivers may have reprimanded you for emotional outbursts, whether positive or negative, so you no longer feel confident expressing your feelings and opinions. 

How Do You Deal With An Emotionally Unavailable Relationship?

What Causes a Person To Be Emotionless

Having a loved one who is emotionally detached or unavailable can put quite a bit of strain on your relationship with them and your own mental health. Here’s what you can do to cope with an emotionally distant or unavailable person

  • Understand the causes: try to uncover the root causes of your loved one’s emotional detachment. Are they trying to avoid a conflict? Are they struggling with depression? Determining where they’re coming from can enable you to offer better help and deal with the situation. 
  • Offer support: your partner or family member may not want to show their feelings, but that doesn’t mean that they don’t need support or validation from you. Show them that you are there for them, but don’t pressure them into opening up. 
  • Focus on yourself: instead of focusing all of your energy on getting your loved one to let their guard down, express your own feelings – explain to them how their emotional unavailability is affecting you without being accusatory. 
  • Don’t feel responsible for their feelings: while you may genuinely want to help your loved one get better and become more honest with their emotions, at the end of the day, their feelings are their own, not yours. Don’t try to manage or control them. 
  • Consider professional coaching: An experienced coach can help you and your loved one build trust and deepen intimacy. A professional will use expert tactics to calmly and supportively get your loved one to speak and open up. 

Learn To Embrace Your Emotions With PIVOT Emotional Intimacy Coaching

While detaching yourself from your feelings can be quite helpful in certain situations, ignoring them for too long can have serious consequences on your mental and physical health. It can affect your relationships and hinder your ability to create strong bonds based on honesty and trust. 

Luckily, you can rely on PIVOT Coaches to offer expert support through individual coaching and provide insightful advice in our relationship workshops. If you are ready to take the first step towards an emotionally balanced life, get in touch with a PIVOT Coach today. 

Emotional Blockage: How To Find Release

Do you struggle to move forward and achieve your goals? Have you ever felt anxious or even paralyzed because of a situation in your life? If you feel like there is no way out of your bad situation, like you are trapped in it but unable to do anything about it, you may be experiencing emotional blockage. 

Our emotions are an essential part of our psychological makeup – they are a natural response to both external and internal happenings and situations. We all experience emotions, although some individuals may struggle with emotional detachment

Unfortunately, our emotions can sometimes bottle up and create a barrier that can prevent us from thinking creatively and moving towards our goals. This is known as emotional blockage, a condition that can benefit greatly from relationship intimacy coaching exercises and other forms of psychological help. Keep reading to learn about suppressing emotions.  

What Is Emotional Blockage?

What Causes Emotional Blockage

Being emotionally blocked means having an unhealthy relationship with your emotions. You may be unable to express and communicate them, or you might experience difficulties understanding why you feel the way you do. It is a defense mechanism that keeps us from coming to terms with our emotions, thinking clearly, and taking forward action. 

Emotional blockage can be quite difficult to deal with. You may be fighting hard to avoid or ignore your emotions, which instead makes them even more overpowering and pervasive. Instead of going away, your emotions will bubble up, leaving you confused, easily triggered, and prone to lashing out. What’s more, intense emotional blockage can also cause severe anxiety and depression. All of this can affect many aspects of your life, including your behavior, cognitive skills, work, friendships, and relationships. 

What Causes Emotional Blockage?

Emotional blockages are typically caused by negative, traumatic, or stressful situations and events the individual is not prepared or used to dealing with. These may include: 

  • Abuse and traumatic experiences 
  • Death of a loved one 
  • Relationship breakups or turbulences 
  • Employment status changes 
  • Unexpected moves or lifestyle changes 
  • Diagnosis of serious medical illnesses 

You can also become emotionally blocked by positive events such as news of pregnancy, promotions, unexpected visits. In general, emotional blockage can be a natural response to a wide range of shocking events, as we need time to process the new information and the changes that may come from it. 

Is It Bad To Hold Back Your Emotions?

Choosing to bury your feelings can lead to a variety of issues, both internally and externally. If you don’t react to a stressful situation by letting out the painful emotions or at least acknowledging them, you may start to withdraw from others, react inappropriately, experience anger outbursts, or fall into apathy. Ultimately, you’ll most likely be unable to resolve your emotional, social, or professional issues unless you express and deal with your emotions. 

What Happens If You Hold In Your Emotions?

Suppressing painful emotions can lead to a range of psychological and physical stress on your body. Here are some concrete examples of how emotional blockages can affect the quality of your life: 

Addictions 

Bottling up emotions can lead to substance abuse, whether it’s with alcohol, antidepressants, or drugs. If not addressed, addictions can further worsen your emotional situation. 

Anger Issues

If you keep suppressing hurtful emotions, burying them as deep as they can go, they’ll inevitably push back at some point, pouring out in intense bursts of anger. If you notice yourself lashing out at people close to you, take a step back and think about what you may be avoiding. 

Social Problems

Withdrawing from others, lashing out, and being emotionally unavailable can negatively impact your relationships. You may distance yourself from your romantic partner, struggle to maintain some of your friendships, or fail to build strong professional relationships. 

Mental Exhaustion

When you suppress emotions, you may also suppress a memory of an event or situation that has hurt you or made you feel uncomfortable. As you can’t actually forget something on purpose, your mind will have to work extra hard to avoid thinking about the memory in question, often causing mental exhaustion.  

Migraines And Headaches

The unaddressed emotional stress can tighten your brow and forehead muscles, reducing blood flow and causing headaches and migraines. 

Decreased Lifespan 

Not dealing with your emotions can cause a number of other health issues, including stomach problems, weight gain, and even increased cancer risks. In fact, suppressing emotions may increase your chances of premature death by as much as 30 percent. 

How Do You Release Emotional Pain?

Is It Bad To Hold Back Your Emotions

Nobody enjoys feeling sad, angry, ashamed, or humiliated. Still, not acknowledging these feelings and lying to yourself will get you nowhere, and can actually make things much worse. Here’s how you can start dealing with your emotions and working on a healthier, less stressful life: 

  • Unleash emotion through movement. Physical activity, even just a tiny bit of it, can help you feel better and release your blocked emotions. Jump, run, dance, or exercise – it will help you both physically and emotionally. 
  • Stay with your feelings. Give yourself time to feel your anger, sadness, or guilt. Sit with your emotion, analyze it, and try to accept it. You can try listening to music, discussing your emotions out loud, or just letting yourself cry it out. 
  • Understand why you feel the way you do. Ask yourself: Why do I feel this way? What am I reacting to? Understanding the cause of your unpleasant emotions can help you accept and integrate them. 
  • Write down your thoughts and feelings. Journaling is another great way to better understand and more easily accept emotions. Once you start putting them down on paper, you might feel silly at first, but your emotions will most likely start pouring out eventually. 
  • Seek professional help. While you can achieve great results by working on your emotions on your own, seeking professional advice and insight can further improve your ability to integrate negative emotions and use them to power positive change.  

Find Release Through Expert Relationship Intimacy Coaching

If you struggle to let out your emotions and maintain strong relationships, know that you can facilitate positive behavioral change with the right kind of help. At PIVOT, we strive to help individuals and couples understand and integrate their emotions and find relief from emotional pain. Whether you choose to try our transformative emotional coaching for individuals or attend one of our deeply insightful relationship workshops, rest assured that our PIVOT Coaches will give you the tools and resources you need to heal your emotional wounds. Contact us today.