Author: Lori Jean Glass

If you’ve been taught to disregard your own needs and instead focus on meeting the needs of others ever since your childhood, there is a good chance that you have developed at least some codependent traits. As a codependent, you may struggle to recognize your self-worth without receiving constant affection and love from other people in your life. 

This desperate need for reassurance and love often leads the codependent to sacrifice their own identity and have poor boundaries in their relationships. Luckily, codependency recovery coaching may be of great help in this regard, teaching you how to set healthy boundaries and love yourself without needing others for reassurance. 

In this article, you will learn what triggers, codependency, why you may struggle with setting boundaries and what you can do to combat your codependent traits. Keep on reading. 

What Triggers Codependency?

In part, codependents tend to stay in relationship with narcissists or individuals who have a substance use disorder because of their triggers. These triggers can be feelings, emotions, or thoughts coming from internal and external sources. They can be especially intense for codependents, who are highly sensitive to the needs and feelings of others. Triggers can also be seen as wounds that typically come from past hurt and trauma.

Internal Codependency Triggers 

Everybody has their inner critic that tells them that they are not good enough or don’t measure up to the high standards they’ve established for themselves. This inner critic comes from learned dysfunctional beliefs we have about ourselves, often triggering shame if these beliefs are not maintained. 

As a codependent, you can get triggered when you feel like you’re being too selfish, which may push you towards offering help even when it might harm you. Another common codependent trigger is being told that you are “overly sensitive” or dramatic because your parents or caregivers convinced you of that when you were little. 

External Codependency Triggers 

Your triggers can also be signs of impending danger you experienced before being hurt in the past. You have learned to react to these warning signs in order to save yourself from harm. Although it can be helpful to react to such warnings in certain situations, you might have a dysfunctional reaction when you are reminded of a hurtful experience. Codependents generally come from abusive or dysfunctional families, and may overreact to situations that mirror the relationship they had with their parents or caregivers. 

What Does It Mean To Lack Boundaries?

If you have codependent traits, you may have a tendency to seek relationships that require you to look after or fix your partner. This happens because you’ve learned that other’s needs are more important than your own. Your childhood wounds might actually lead you to recreate the stressful and dysfunctional relationships you’ve known since you were little. 

This often leads to difficulties in setting healthy boundaries. You may find it extremely hard to say “no” to your partner or become anxious when they are displeased or angry with you. On the other hand, you may exhibit needy behaviors, constantly seeking attention from your partner, and feeling unhappy when they don’t seem to need your help. 

Signs You Lack Healthy Boundaries 

Here are some additional signs that you may struggle with setting good boundaries in your relationships: 

• You feel responsible for other people’s feelings 
• You can’t stand letting other people down 
• You tend to overshare and are often victim of emotional manipulation
• You feel annoyed when others don’t need your help
• You feel like you don’t get enough recognition for your help 
• Your relationships tend to be dramatic and addictive  

What Happens If You Don’t Set Boundaries?

Not setting good boundaries can cause you to harbor a great deal of frustration and resentment, which can bubble up and rise up to the surface after a while. You may feel like you’re constantly helping and getting nothing in return. Or you might find another partner who needs your help and care in order to maintain a level of control in the relationship. 

Over time, the anger and frustration may build up so much that you might start to lash out against your partner. Compromising your happiness in an attempt to maintain a “perfect” relationship and always be helpful to your partner will drain all of your energy and time, resulting in numerous conflicts in your relationship. .

How To Stop Codependency And Set Boundaries

Find Your Freedom At The Best Codependency Retreats in California

Whether you are struggling with setting better boundaries for yourself or want to learn how to deal with a stonewalling partner, PIVOT is here to help. Our insightful advocates will help you understand and integrate your past experiences and trauma, guiding you towards positive change and healthier relationships. 

Our codependency retreats and workshops are designed to help you gain relational freedom and find balance in your relationships. Additionally, we offer in-depth coaching for individuals struggling with codependency and other relationship issues. Contact a PIVOT Advocate today and find the help you deserve. 

Being in a relationship is difficult. Sometimes, even excruciatingly so, as not all relationships are loving, caring, and nurturing. However, refusing to open up and allowing yourself to get close to someone, and others to get close to you is never a solution.

Sometimes, people fail to commit to others because they value their privacy too much, which stops them from being open. At other times, it’s the fear of emotional abandonment that affects their ability to let someone into their world.

Whatever the reasons behind your fear of commitment, you need to be aware of the fact that, at one point or another, it would be better to overcome it. If not, your fear can lead you to unintentionally stonewall the people you care about, or cause them suffering because of emotional neglect. Emotional intimacy issues are never easy to deal with, but solutions are available and you can learn to trust your ability to commit.

Is It Normal To Be Afraid Of Commitment?

Fear of commitment can broadly be defined as the avoidance of long-term partnerships. Although fearing commitment can mean that you’re having difficulties sticking to jobs, living in the same city for extended periods of time, or changing your life goals on a regular basis, it mostly concerns romantic attachments.

There are people who have no trouble being in relationships, sharing their lives, emotions, good and bad sides with their romantic counterparts. However, for some people, opening up to others and allowing themselves to become emotionally attached to another person is extremely difficult. 

Although it can be emotionally and romantically impairing to avoid romantic commitment, it is also perfectly normal to feel the way you do. There are many reasons why you’re not able to let another person come closer to you.

It might have something to do with your upbringing. Perhaps you’ve suffered emotional trauma when you were young. Or it may be down to other factors. Whatever the reason behind your relationship anxiety, know that there are many people who struggle with this.  And, you can overcome this fear.

Why Am I Scared Of Commitment In A Relationship?

There are many reasons why you’re currently experiencing fear of commitment. For the majority of people, the underlying cause for fearing commitment is that they had an unpleasant relationship experience in the past. 

However, the reasons behind this type of fear can be as varied and as diverse as the people who are trying to deal with it. 

• Result of a poor previous relationship. It can be either due to:
  • First-hand involvement in a bad relationship, either romantic or familial.
  • Observational experience of poor relationships, such as parents divorcing or having an acrimonious relationship.
• Experiencing an ending to a relationship without any previous signs, warning, or notice, or fearing such an end to a relationship. 
• Being in a relationship that you do not perceive as right for you, either due to lack of emotions on your partner’s part, or insufficient emotional investment on your part.
• Being part of an emotionally unhealthy relationship where you or your partner are experiencing codependency, or there is emotional abandonment, abuse, or infidelity involved. 
• Developing severe trust issues due to failures of past relationships.
• Childhood abuse, abandonment, or different types of childhood traumas that cause lack of trust.
• Attachment problems that stem from unmet needs in your early childhood.
• Complicated family dynamics while you were growing up.

The reasons behind you fearing commitment are just as important as the problems this fear is causing you. Most of the time the easiest way to deal with these issues is to attend coaching sessions that will help you find your romantic self. 

What Are Signs Of Commitment Issues?

Unlike the causes of your fear of commitment, the signs that point that you are, indeed, afraid of getting yourself completely emotionally involved with someone are universal. This doesn’t mean that every single person is going to exhibit identical signs of fearing commitment.

Rather, these are generalized notions that point to the fact that you might be experiencing relationship anxiety and that you might need to do something about it. Sometimes, the person you’re with is not right for you. 

Other times, though, you might be sabotaging a completely healthy relationship because of your own fears. That is why you should pay attention to the following signs:

• You rarely make plans for a few weeks or months in advance.
• You have many casual friends, but no very close friends.
• You haven’t had long relationships.
• You dislike the language of commitment and tend to avoid it.
• You tend to appear inconsistent by avoiding personal commitments.
• You are frequently attracted to romantic interests you cannot attain.
• You are too picky when it comes to choosing your friends and romantic partners. 
• You keep stringing your partner along without actually being emotionally prepared for a serious relationship.
• You are not the best of communicators and you tend to avoid serious conversations.
• You enjoy pursuing romantic relationships rather than being part of one.
• You feel that being in a relationship will mean losing your freedom.
• You haven’t discovered your true relationship needs yet.

Most people who fear commitment have experienced one or, more frequently, several of these symptoms. It is important to differentiate between being in a poor romantic relationship and having commitment issues. The best way to determine your current mental state is to seek help from qualified relationship advocates who can help you overcome any problems you might have.

How Do I Overcome My Fear Of Commitment?

Overcoming your fear of commitment is not easy. Nothing that requires you to look deeply into yourself is. Dealing with emotions is always tricky, especially when those emotions are of a romantic nature. However, it is completely possible to successfully overcome your fear of commitment. 

Tips To Overcome Your Fear Of Commitment 

Learn How To Build Intimacy In A Relationship With Our Qualified Advocates

It’s not easy when you fear getting close to someone. It can prevent you from experiencing the most beautiful moments of your life, and stop you from getting to know romantic bliss. At PIVOT, you will cooperate with experienced relationship advocates who will help you find balance and happiness in your romantic life.

We provide carefully organized relationship retreats and workshops, and we can also offer you individual coaching with our team of advocates to help you overcome your fear of commitment. We want you to be as happy as you can be. Contact a PIVOT Advocate today!

If you’re just starting a new relationship, it’s normal to not be completely open immediately. However, as time passes, not being able to let your partner see your emotions and not allowing them to come close to you can trigger feelings of emotional neglect. It hurts to be ignored, and if you want to be in a loving and caring relationship, you need to be prepared to provide emotional support to your partner.

The only way to show your partner that you care for them is to allow yourself to start letting your emotions out. Everybody enjoys small displays of affection and it feels good to be loved and to not constantly feel rejected by your romantic partner.

In order to be able to do that, you need to learn how to overcome your fear of commitment, build intimacy in a relationship, and let your guard down. 

What Does It Mean To Be A Private Person?

When you’re a private person, you tend to keep to yourself. This has nothing to do with being an introvert, although people tend to use the two terms interchangeably. People who are private tend to keep a closed lid on what goes on in their lives.

And it’s completely normal, sometimes even encouraged, to keep some details about yourself and your life to yourself. Being private is not necessarily a bad thing, nor should it be. Different social contexts demand different modes of behavior. 

For example, oversharing about your personal life with your colleagues can be a workplace faux pas. It can hurt your professional relationships, impact your advancement opportunities, and overall affect your career in a negative way. It doesn’t have to, but it can.

Knowing Where The Line Is

But remaining private in your personal and romantic life can be a bad way to function with people close to you. Hiding your feelings, not discussing important matters concerning you and your friends, family, or partner can lead to those close to you feeling emotionally neglected.

If that happens, it may be difficult to open up again, in which case you can try seeking help from qualified coaches.

And that is what it means to be a private person. On the one hand, being private is normal, depending on the social circumstances, while, on the other hand, it can start creating problems in your private life. Sometimes, you need to open up to people who care about you. Discerning who the people are you can trust to discuss what is private to you can be done by completing the Relational Circle Boundary PIVOT module with a certified coach. 

What Is The Difference Between Private And Secretive?

Being Private

Being private means keeping your values, feelings, and beliefs away from public view. It involves keeping our daydreams and fantasies away from the rest of the unfamiliar world. The matters you consider private will, once shared, provide an insight into your personality. 

Unless you become overly private in your emotional life, there’s no need to fear your private nature affecting your life negatively.

Being Secretive 

On the other hand, being secretive involves an act of having to hide things from people close to you. Secrecy goes beyond privacy. While secrets are often private, very few private matters are actually secretive.

Keeping matters private means that you choose to bring up certain boundaries involving your private life and to not allow everybody inside them. Keeping matters secret means that you’re proposal hiding something from fear of it negatively impacting you and your life. 

How Do I Let My Guard Down?

When you’re a private person and you’re entering a new relationship, it’s not easy to open up to another person and let your guard drop. The fear of being hurt can be too large, and old habits die hard in this instance.

However, allowing yourself to become more open and trusting in a relationship can yield many beautiful moments. Sometimes, you need to talk to a qualified advocate to help you improve your romantic life. But, before that, there are a couple of things you can try.

• Share a happy memory from your past with your partner.
• Talk about your beliefs and values, and about other things you feel strongly about. 
• Reveal a single thing that makes you scared.
• Allow your partner to share something about themselves while you simply listen.
• Realize that every person and every relationship is different.
• Accept the fact that you’re not always going to know why you feel the way you feel.
• Allow yourself to validate your feelings.
• Do not place any blame on your partner and yourself. 
• Communicate even when it gets hard.
• Try to be patient with yourself and your partner.
• Don’t be afraid to open up.
• Try to live in the now and not fear the consequences.

How Do You Tell Your Partner How You Feel?

Part of opening up to your romantic partner is sharing your feelings with them. If you’re a private person, this can be a daunting task. Sharing feelings means you’ll be leaving yourself vulnerable. This is in no way a bad thing, as it allows others to get to know you better. But, when you’re private, it can be challenging. 

Trained emotional advocates can greatly help you in this respect. They are qualified for helping you deal with your emotions, and they will assist you in opening up to other people. But, before that, try some of the following techniques for sharing your feelings.

• There are no wrong feelings. Behavior that stems from those feelings can be inappropriate, such as becoming aggressive when angry, but you should accept how you feel and start there. Name the feeling without the expectation that your partner is somehow supposed to fix it. 
• Try your best to explain your feelings to your partner. Help your partner understand what you’re going through by being as open and as detailed as possible.
• Be aware that sharing your feelings, especially if you’re not used to doing so, can be quite difficult in the beginning. 
• Do not share just the surface feelings. Try to dig deeper and tell your partner about what’s really going on deep inside.
• Don’t judge your partner’s feelings when they share them. Be as open to them as you’re expecting them to be open to you.
• Use “I feel” instead of “I think” whenever you can. This will help your partner know that you’re talking about feelings, and not just projections.
• Be as direct and as open as possible, without being brash. Being sincere with your partner will make them feel you value them and their opinion.

How To Be More Honest With Your Partner?

Once you manage to share your feelings, it’s time to work on you and your partner’s mutual honesty toward each other. An honest relationship is a relationship that lasts, and there are things you can do to make your relationship more honest.

• Never forget that you and your partner are on the same team and that you need to work together, not against each other.
• Do not blame or attack your partner. This will make them close up and stop being as honest as they used to be for fear of how you’ll react. 
• Be ready to hear what your partner has to say as well. Sometimes, it’s not easy hearing the truth.
• Chat about everyday occurrences and always be completely honest about your day.
• Reserve some patience for both yourself and your partner.
• If you’ve made mistakes, own up to them. Don’t just point out what your partner did wrong without admitting your own mistakes. 
• Discuss your problems with your partner as openly and as honestly as possible.
• Open up about your flaws and accept your partner’s flaws as well.
• Show your partner that you love them even when you’re not seeing eye to eye on something.

And, if all else fails, you can attempt to build trust in a relationship workshop. Talking to a qualified advocate can go a long way toward helping you and your partner overcome your issues and becoming more honest with each other.

Who Can Help Me Build Intimacy And Trust In My Relationship?

Going from private to open in a relationship is a big task. Although it can be extremely hard in the beginning, it can give you great rewards down the road. At PIVOT, we know just how difficult and rewarding letting your guard down can be, which is why we offer you an opportunity to work with qualified relationship advocates who can help you find happiness with your partner.

Depending on your needs, we can help you overcome your fear of opening up with individual coaching, or you can attend our intensive relationship workshops and retreats. We want you to enjoy your life to the fullest. Reach out to a PIVOT advocate today!

All of us want and need to feel accepted, loved, and cared for. It is one of the basic psychological necessities of human existence that start in childhood, and follow us to and through adulthood. 

That is why experiencing any type and extent of emotional neglect, and the fear of suffering emotional abandonment is harsh and destabilizing. And why even being ignored by the person you care for hurts. 

If you’re currently undergoing mental strain due to one or several of these psychological issues, perhaps you should think about attending a love addiction intensive workshop where you can work on easing, accepting and overcoming the pain of rejection. Learning about the minutiae of emotional rejection and how it can negatively affect your life if left uncared for is the first step in enhancing your emotional well-being. .

Why Is Rejection So Hard?

Rejection is an act of being willfully pushed away from a person you care about. You can experience rejection from a partner, family members, coworkers, or friends, and no matter who  rejects you, it can still cause emotional pain and distress. 

In some relationships, emotional rejection may be a logical continuation of extended periods of emotional manipulation. However, not everybody will clearly communicate the reasons for rejecting you, and it is not uncommon that you remain out of the loop when it comes to the underlying cause. 

This is why rejection can be extremely hard, especially when you’re left without any kind of explanation. At other times, it is the intensity of the ended relationship that intensifies the pain. Whatever the type of rejection you’re experiencing, chances are that it may lead to emotional distress, negative effects on your self-esteem, and even, in some cases, depression.

The 3 Types Of Rejection

There are three main types of rejection, each with its own set of emotional encumbrances and psychological hardships. No matter the kind of rejection you’re going through, it is always wise to seek help if you’re struggling to overcome and accept the situation.

1. Familial rejection – This type of rejection most commonly involves parental rejection, but it can also mean that you’re being rejected by your sibling. It can include different types of emotional abuse, neglect, abandonment, or the lack of affection and love. This kind of emotional rejection can leave individuals dealing with the consequences throughout their lives. 
2. Social rejection – Most often, individuals suffer this form of rejection very early in their childhood. It can range from school alienation to numerous kinds of bullying. However, it can extend beyond childhood into adulthood, and various social groups. The individuals who tend to challenge the norm are more prone to this type of rejection. 
3. Relationship rejection – This type of rejection is mostly reserved for romantic relationships. It can range from your partner refusing to share an experience with you to actually ending the relationship. This is the type of rejection that usually causes immediate and intense emotional distress. In these cases, intensive coaching sessions can be highly beneficial.

What Does Rejection Do To A Person?

Why Does Rejection Cause Obsession?

On the one hand, even the fear of being rejected by an individual you care for, either romantically or in a different way, can lead to us developing clingy and obsessive behavioral patterns.

On the other hand, there’s also a biological explanation as to why rejection may cause obsessive behavior. Romantic rejection stimulates the same parts of our brain that are in charge of keeping us motivated.

Also, it affects the parts of our brain associated with addiction, rewards, and cravings. This is the biological explanation of why, when a person romantically rejects you, you tend to develop feelings of obsessive devotion.

However, there are multiple ways to explain this obsessive psychological trend. For instance, you may think it’s your fault, and you’re trying to make up for your mistakes. Perhaps you think the person’s still the perfect one for you. Whatever the reasons, it’s not uncommon for rejection to have obsessive ramifications.

How Do You Deal With Rejection In A Relationship?

There are ways to deal with emotional rejection in a healthy, constructive way. Sometimes your attempts to overcome love addiction won’t amount to much without seeking help from qualified relationship advocates. However, this should not stop you from trying to employ the following techniques:

Come To Terms With Rejection In Our Love Addiction Intensive Workshop

Emotional rejection may be an ongoing issue even between long-term partners, without leading to a break-up, but with highly damaging consequences. If you feel like the time for getting help, consider turning to professionals. 

At PIVOT, we provide various intensive love addiction workshops for couples, and we can also teach you plenty of methods to help you recognize and enhance emotional intimacy in your future relationships through individual coaching with our advocates. 

No need to deal with such a flood of emotions all alone. Reach out to our seasoned PIVOT advocates as soon as possible and be quickly on your way to a happy continuation of your life. Contact us today!

Every child has basic emotional needs that should be fulfilled by their parents or caregivers. If that is not the case, the child may grow up carrying a deep emotional wound within them that might adversely affect their self-esteem and relationships later on in life. 

Emotional neglect comes in many shapes and forms that can have varying effects on your adult life. For instance, you may struggle with emotional intimacy issues, intense fear of abandonment, or have trouble dealing with rejection in your relationships because of the attachment patterns you’ve known since childhood. 

No matter what your core emotional wound may be, remember that you can heal and have healthy and happy relationships in your life. All it takes is a little bit of self-reflection and a lot of patience. Read on to learn more about emotional neglect and you can overcome it. 

What Are The 4 Types Of Neglect?

Although childhood neglect covers a wide range of behaviors, there are four main types you may be able to recognize. These are: 

• Physical neglect: this type of neglect occurs when the parent or caregiver fails to provide the child with basic care and necessities, like clothing, shelter, and food. It may also include leaving your children alone for long time periods. 
• Emotional neglect: a child who is emotionally neglected may feel rejected, ignored, isolated, or threatened by their caregivers or parents. The child may be denied attention, support, or another form of emotional care they need to live a fulfilling life. 
• Educational neglect: some parents don’t give their children adequate educational opportunities, They may stop the child from going to school, insist on homeschooling them but failing to do so, and so on. 
• Medical neglect: this form of neglect happens when the parent fails to provide proper healthcare for the child, despite being financially or circumstantially able to do so. This can lead to the child experiencing serious health issues, both in childhood and later in life. 

What Is Considered Emotional Neglect?

In a nutshell, emotional neglect happens when a child’s parents or caregivers fail to meet the child’s basic emotional needs. While the effects of emotional neglect can overlap with the effects of emotional abuse, these two terms are not interchangeable. 

The main difference here is that emotional abuse tends to be intentional, while neglect does not have to be. For instance, a parent may fail to notice and respond to some of their child’s emotional needs, while being able to provide other forms of support. 

What Causes Emotional Neglect?

Unfortunately, many parents and caregivers are unable to provide their children with adequate care because of their own emotional or psychological issues. If you feel like you have been the victim of emotional neglect, know that your parents may have tried their best to meet your emotional needs, but they failed because they simply didn’t know better. 

Nevertheless, knowing why emotional neglect happened may help you heal from it and create healthier relationships in your adult life, as well as be a better parent to your own children. 

How Does Emotional Neglect Affect Relationships?

How Do You Deal With Emotional Neglect?

However pervasive or damaging the effects of your emotional neglect may be, know that you can overcome your emotional wounds and create healthier relationships. Here are some helpful tips: 

PIVOT Emotional Intimacy Coaching: Your Key To A Happy Life

Are you ready to start working on your emotional wellbeing and creating better relationships? Let the insightful PIVOT advocates help. We are here to offer you the resources and tools you need to overcome emotional neglect and realize your vast potential. 

Our expert emotional intimacy coaching and intensive workshops are designed to help you heal from emotional neglect and abuse and facilitate positive behavioral change. Contact PIVOT today and make the best decision for your emotional health. 

Power and control are often present in most relationships, even if we may not be always aware of their influence. The need to control and exert power over other people and the environment is a natural human instinct. Unfortunately, the balance of power in relationships is frequently disrupted, with one partner feeling helpless and powerless next to the other. 

Power imbalances in relationships are incredibly common, especially among couples who suffer from emotional intimacy issues, attachment wounds, and various mental health problems stemming from childhood, adolescence, and/or adult life trauma. 

If you can’t strike a healthy balance of power and control with your partner, you’ve come to the right place. In this article, we will shed light on some frequently utilized abusive tactics and see how they are used to exert power and control. Read on. 

Is Power And Control The Same Thing?

Power and control typically go hand in hand. Because these two concepts are often so closely related, most of us rarely stop to think about the difference between them. But are power and control really the same? 

When you have power, you are able to make something happen, that is, when you have power, you tend to have control. However, it is often those without power that feel the need to control their environment and other people. 

With this in mind, individuals who are in power, or better yet, who feel empowered don’t feel the urge to control as their basic needs are already met. On the other hand, if you feel a strong need to control, it is very likely that there is something missing from your life, and you should look inside rather than outside if you want to find balance in your life. 

What Is Power And Control In Relationships?

A healthy relationship is based on mutual respect between the two partners. Neither one of them should exert too much power over the other, and both of them should have a say when making decisions. Unfortunately, such a healthy balance of power is not always present in relationships. 

The Causes Of Power Imbalances In Relationships

Due to deeply rooted insecurities and childhood wounds, many individuals tend to feel helpless and powerless in their lives, often willingly giving up their power to others. This is quite understandable – if you have felt worthless and incapable of making decisions all your life, it is only natural that you will seek out somebody else to fill the void. 

This often happens in codependent relationships, where one partner wields substantial power over the other and often engages in abusive or narcissistic behaviors. The codependent partner feels entirely reliant on the “abuser” for their sense of worth and identity. Such an imbalance of power can result in a wide array of conflicting emotions for the codependent, including an intense sense of anxiety and fear, grief, anger, shame, and guilt. 

What Is The Power And Control Wheel?

The Power and Control Wheel, otherwise known as the Duluth Model, is a tool used in the field of domestic violence to identify and understand the manipulation and control tactics abusers employ to exert power and control over their victims. The wheel has Power and Control at its center with the following abusive tactics surrounding it: 

• Sexual and physical violence forming the outer ring of the wheel: all the other abusive tactics work alongside these forms of violence in order to exert control over the victim. 
• Threats and coercion: the abusive partner makes and sometimes carries out threats. They may threaten to leave the victim, commit suicide, or speak up to their friends and family about the relationship. 
• Intimidation: the abuser strives to instill fear in the victim through acts of physical violence or other intimidating gestures. 
• Economic abuse: the goal is to make the victim completely dependent on the abuser for financial support. This may involve withholding money from the victim, sabotaging their job opportunities, and so on.
• Emotional abuse: the abusive partner may put the victim down, invalidate their feelings, or resort to gaslighting in order to confuse and exert control. Other emotional abuse tactics include love bombing, the silent treatment, and other mind games. 
• Male privilege: in cases where the abuser is male and the victim female, the abuser can make use of male privilege to control the victim. He may be the only one to make important decisions or treat the victim like his servant. 
• Children: the abusive partner may make the victim feel guilty for not taking good enough care of the children and threaten to take them away, which can be an extremely effective manipulation tactic. 
• Blaming and denying: it is very common for abusers to try and shift responsibility and blame for the abuse on the victim. They may also laugh off the abuse allegations and pretend the abuse never happened. 
• Isolation: with the aim to make the victim completely dependent on them, the abuser will control and limit the actions of the victim, separating them from their friends, family, and other sources of support. 

If you feel like these abuse tactics are present in your own relationship, it is essential that you understand that overcoming your emotional wounds and finding strength inside yourself, instead of relying on others for validation, is entirely possible. Contacting a professional relationship coach may be just what you need to take that first step which can also point you in the right direction if you need a higher level of care. 

Find Your Power In Our Codependent Relationship Retreat

At PIVOT, we understand how hard it can be to break the bubble of codependency and start looking for your own power and strength. That is why we work hard to provide individuals and couples with the tools they need to heal their attachment wounds and create balance in their relationships. 

If you wish to take back control of your life, then contact PIVOT. We offer experience and expertise-based relationship coaching for individuals, as well as a wide array of intensive codependency workshops and retreats you can choose from. Reach out to PIVOT Advocates today and start working on creating a stronger, happier you.