Category: Articles

The Disorganized Attachment Cycle

If you are in a committed relationship with a partner who has a disorganized attachment style, you may be wondering whether healthy and happy love is even possible. Take heart that everyone is capable of finding greater security in their relationships, and your partner is no exception. Caring enough to be part of the process makes you a strong ally in their corner and provides them with a sense of security and safety in the relationship.

If you are wondering how to deal with disorganized attachment in a partner, PIVOT’s expert relationship coaches can help unravel the origins of this attachment style and map out a clear path to healing. With the support of expert PIVOT coaches, you and your partner can work through attachment insecurities and build a stronger connection and a brighter future.

How to Deal With Disorganized Attachment in Your Partner

Since attachment style affects many aspects of adult life, especially romantic relationships, getting help with an insecure attachment style can be very transformative. If your partner desires change and is willing to do the hard work to achieve more security in the relationship, your support will be especially significant. 

While there is abundant information available online about attachment styles, avoid diagnosing or labeling your partner. The complexity of disorganized attachment requires special skills to uncover the origins of childhood trauma and create a pathway to behavioral change. It is best to consult a professional relationship coach who has expertise in identifying the source of relational challenges. 

PIVOT offers relationship coaching through a high-impact process that provides each partner with a dedicated coach. The PIVOT process ensures that each partner’s needs are met throughout the journey, honoring that everyone’s perspective will be very different. We will help you learn to deal with your disorganized attachment partner and help your partner grow in their security and independence. Our process empowers each partner to achieve personal and relational freedom.

It’s true that your partner will have to work hard to overcome a disorganized attachment style, but the work is worth it, and there are ways to support them.

Your support will be invaluable as your partner heals their childhood wounds and learns to replace dysfunctional coping mechanisms and survival patterns with sustainable relationship behaviors. Through the PIVOT process, a partner with a disorganized attachment style can gain a stronger self-image and a positive outlook on relationships. Greater attachment security and stronger relational bonds are possible.

Recognizing Disorganized Attachment

Recognizing disorganized attachment in your partner may be challenging; the first clue may be the contradictions in their behavior. With characteristics of both anxious and avoidant attachment styles, people with disorganized attachment styles may display opposite extremes. For instance, they may express love and affection one moment and then seem indifferent or dissatisfied the next. They may also struggle with making decisions about the relationship or avoid discussing the future. If you are frequently troubled by the intensity or unpredictable nature of your partner’s behavior within your relationship, you may be seeing the results of childhood trauma that has led to the development of a disorganized attachment style.

How Does Disorganized Attachment Develop?

Some people with a disorganized attachment style experienced abuse or neglect in their earliest relationships, while others had caretakers who were simply ill-equipped for parenting. Instead of providing a sense of safety and stability, their caretakers became a source of fear and uncertainty. As a result, these children learned to adopt survival patterns from a very young age to help them cope with having their needs met incompletely or inconsistently. These behaviors can be particularly disruptive and destructive to partners in adult relationships. 

Due to the emotional turmoil of their earliest years, partners with a disorganized attachment style suffer from insecurity and find it difficult to trust. Though they crave love and want a relationship, there is a deep fear of rejection and abandonment. These conflicting emotions may set up a self-sabotaging cycle that leaves their partner reeling and unsure of how to help.

Work Towards a Brighter Future With PIVOT Coaching

PIVOT relationship coaches offer help for individuals, couples, and families. We’ll give you insight on how to deal with a disorganized attachment partner. Our evidence-based process promotes healing and provides a framework for transformative behavioral change. Reach out to begin the journey to a healthier, happier relationship. You can reach us at 1-855-452-0707.

A certain level of trust is essential in any relationship, but in marriage, it is sacred. Your spouse should be someone you can count on and trust implicitly. What happens, then, when trust breaks down in marriage? Broken trust in your marriage may feel cataclysmic, but it doesn’t have to mean divorce. With the support of dedicated PIVOT relationship coaches, it is possible to rebuild broken trust and even strengthen your marriage.

What Causes Broken Trust in Marriage?

The first step to healing broken trust is to understand what causes it in the first place. Often, infidelity, lies, or emotional distance are just symptoms of greater underlying issues that began long before you or your partner ever cheated, lied, or emotionally withdrew from the marriage. As you work with your relationship coach, you’ll learn to identify and unpack the root causes of broken trust in marriage and move towards an actionable solution.

Here are some of the surface causes of broken trust in marriage, a deeper look at why they might arise, and what to do.

Restore the Trust in Your Marriage With a Relationship Coach

Acknowledging that you are willing to work past broken trust in your marriage is the first step towards healing. Overcoming this devastating breach is not easy,  and it will take time. With so much doubt, suspicion, and insecurity emanating from the loss of trust, your best chance for overcoming this serious breach is with the expert guidance of a relationship coach. 

At PIVOT, our process with couples is unique. We provide each partner with their own coach to facilitate the challenging work ahead. After each person completes their individual part of the process, their personal coach accompanies them as they meet with their spouse and their coach. Rebuilding trust begins when the couple meets together with their coaches, who can help their clients communicate and advocate for their needs with each other.

Your individual coaches will lead you and your spouse through several steps as you start the rebuilding process:

• Acknowledge there is a problem with trust and take responsibility.
• Allow time to grieve and accept the loss of trust.
• Work to uncover underlying issues that may have preceded the broken trust.
• Learn to set boundaries.
• Practice effective communication strategies.
• Participate in trust-building activities.
• Work together on a shared plan for the future.

Your best opportunity to overcome broken trust in marriage is through the PIVOT Process, an evidence-based program that has helped thousands of people suffering in unhappy or insecure relationships. Through weekly coaching, we help couples restore trust and create a path to a happier future. For couples who desire a more intensive experience with the same process, we offer a private couples retreat at the Glass House in Northern California. In this immersive experience, you, your spouse, and your individual coaches will have the privacy and resources to work toward a shared solution for your relationship while prioritizing yourself and your needs.

Rebuild Broken Trust in Your Marriage With the PIVOT Process

Joining your life with a partner establishes a foundation and support structure that should empower you through life’s ups and downs. A breakdown of trust with your partner can be very destabilizing, shaking the foundation on which your shared life is built.  

Fortunately, with the proper support, you can rebuild your lost trust. PIVOT specializes in relationship coaching for individuals, married couples, and families. Call us at 1-855-452-0707 to begin rebuilding broken trust in your marriage.

The label “narcissism” is thrown around a lot nowadays, so much so that it’s almost become trendy. The truth is, spotting a truly narcissistic partner requires more than just noticing a bit of arrogance or self-absorption. Narcissistic behavior goes deeper: it’s manipulative, damaging, and often leaves you questioning your own worth. If you recognize the signs of a narcissistic partner, reach out to the expert relationship coaches at PIVOT. We offer tools and insights to understand and unpack unhealthy relationship dynamics, heal codependency, and work through narcissistic abuse.

Identifying Signs of a Narcissistic Partner

Through specialized relationship coaching, immersive retreats, and educational resources, PIVOT empowers individuals to identify behaviors like manipulation, gaslighting, and emotional inconsistency that are characteristic of narcissistic partners. By learning how to set boundaries, build self-awareness, and prioritize emotional well-being, PIVOT can help you gain the clarity and confidence to take control of your relationships and protect your mental health.

If you feel like you might be in a relationship with a narcissistic partner, here are some questions to ask yourself.

Answering these questions may have stirred up some big feelings. It can be devastating to recognize that you may be involved with a narcissist, but in a way, it is also freeing. You’ve identified part of the problem, now you just need to take the first hard steps towards the solution.

Working with a dedicated relationship coach can help you work through the challenges of being with a narcissistic partner. At PIVOT, our coaches work with couples both individually and together to unpack past traumas, explore healthier communication patterns, and come up with an actionable plan to move forward. Whether you work with us individually or with your partner, you’ll have a compassionate coach advocating for you every step of the way as you work towards a happier future.

And, if you aren’t sure whether you are properly identifying the signs of a narcissistic partner, our relationship coaches can help with that too. Sometimes, what may seem like narcissism is actually something else.

When Narcissistic Behaviors Aren’t Actually Narcissism

For some people, behaviors that seem like narcissism are actually deep-seated core reactions to unresolved trauma. Trauma can cause people to act defensively, seek excessive validation, or struggle with empathy–not because they’re self-absorbed, but because they are protecting themselves from past wounds. These behaviors may mimic narcissism but are actually rooted in fear, insecurity, or emotional pain. PIVOT coaching can help you recognize this distinction so you can respond to your partner compassionately, with healing and understanding instead of blame.

PIVOT can help you change your behavior if you’re unintentionally triggering your partner into these narcissistic-like negative reactions. With our intensive relationship retreats and coaching sessions, PIVOT helps you identify your own emotional patterns, actions, and personal triggers that may be contributing to this unhealthy relationship dynamic. By teaching you how to respond calmly, set boundaries, and express your needs in a constructive way, PIVOT guides you in shifting the way you interact with your partner. This not only helps reduce conflict but also pivots you to a healthier, more supportive relationship where both partners can thrive.

Transform Your Relationship With PIVOT

If you recognize signs of a narcissistic partner in your relationship, reach out to begin the journey to a healthier, happier life. We can work with you individually or together with your partner to reach relational freedom. You can reach us at 1-855-452-0707.

Many couples experience marriage troubles from time to time, from ineffective communication that leads to misunderstandings to a misalignment of sex drives. However, when troubles pile up or remain unresolved, you may need to seek intervention. While weekly marriage counseling is beneficial, the slow pace of change may leave you feeling impatient. 

Though everyone’s threshold is different, most people recognize when occasional marriage troubles escalate to a troubled marriage. If you and your partner are tired of the status quo and ready to focus on work that creates noticeable differences, a PIVOT marriage retreat for troubled marriages will provide the focus and intensity you need to heal and deepen your connection.

A Marriage Retreat for Troubled Marriages Provides Intensive Intervention

If your marriage has become a source of stress instead of support, it’s time for intensive intervention. In contrast with weekly marriage counseling, a marriage retreat provides the opportunity to leave daily distractions behind for a short, concentrated effort to address the trouble and seek long-term solutions.  An intensive marriage retreat can provide a lifeline to quickly address the troubling signs that have infiltrated your relationship.

How a PIVOT Marriage Retreat Improves a Troubled Marriage

When you make the decision to devote time and energy to fixing a troubled marriage, you need the proper resources to facilitate change. Our marriage retreats provide the support and groundwork you need to work through your troubles. 

Before your work as a couple can begin, you have to understand yourself more completely. Looking back at the past helps you to know how you arrived at your present. Understanding how certain life events from your past have generated the survival patterns that drive your present relationships will bring valuable insight and inspire compassion for yourself.

Once you and your spouse gain personal insights, it is time to work together on your relationship dynamics. With guidance from your PIVOT coaches, you will practice effective strategies for communication, problem-solving, and resolving conflicts. During this process, you and your partner will work individually and together with your coaches, who act as advocates for you as you work through your issues with your partner. You will receive a toolbox of versatile and readily applicable strategies to support change as you create a plan for your shared future.

The Benefits of an Intensive Marriage Retreat

PIVOT specializes in coaching individuals, couples, and families to live their best lives through personal growth and find healthier, more fulfilling relationships. Our marriage retreats have helped many couples make deeper connections and achieve greater life satisfaction.   

What sets a PIVOT marriage retreat for troubled marriages apart is it’s unprecedented.

Transform Your Relationship With a PIVOT Marriage Retreat for Troubled Marriages

PIVOT offers relationship coaching for individuals, couples, and families. Our marriage retreat for troubled marriages provides a lifeline with unprecedented benefits for couples who are struggling. Reach out today at 1-855-452-0707 and begin your journey to a healthier, happier marriage.

In the delicate balance of relationships, our behaviors affect not only ourselves but also our friends and partners. When toxic patterns emerge, they can disrupt the harmony of the relationship, leading to pain and disconnection. Recognizing the need for change is the first courageous step toward mending what’s broken. The next step is learning how to change your behavior in a relationship.

How to Change Your Behavior in a Relationship

Changing toxic behavior begins with a shift in attitude. It’s about moving from resistance to willingness. Healthy partners must be willing to face uncomfortable truths, be vulnerable, and commit to growth.

This shift requires us to soften our defenses and embrace the uncomfortableness that comes with change. It’s about understanding that true strength lies in our ability to adapt, to let go of destructive patterns, and to cultivate behaviors that encourage love and respect. People can change their behavior in a relationship if they first hold themselves accountable and decide they want to change.

If any of these behaviors seem too confusing or difficult, attending a relationship retreat can be an immediate and effective way to help you unlearn toxic behaviors and replace them with healthy strategies to navigate your relationships.

How Toxic Behaviors Impact Relationships

Toxic behaviors can manifest in many forms—whether it’s controlling tendencies, harsh criticism, or emotional withdrawal. These actions, often rooted in fear, insecurity, or unresolved trauma, can erode the very foundation of a relationship. The impact of such behaviors on you and your partner can be profound and can create a cycle of hurt that stifles both partners’ ability to grow—individually and together.

Recognizing toxic patterns is a powerful act of self-awareness. It requires looking within, acknowledging the pain caused, and understanding the underlying emotions that fuel our actions. This introspection is not about self-blame but about opening the door to healing and change.

Rebuilding What’s Broken

Rebuilding a relationship after toxic behaviors have taken root is not easy, but it is possible. It requires patience, consistency, and a deep commitment to change from both partners. Communication is the cornerstone to having open, honest conversations about the impact of your behavior. Apologies, when sincere, can mend the cracks in the relationship, but they must be followed by actionable change.

Behavioral change doesn’t happen overnight; it’s a gradual process of rewiring our responses and creating new, healthier patterns. Consistency is the key to turning these new behaviors into established habits. You will need to be mindful of your actions, catch yourself when old habits resurface, and gently redirect yourself toward more constructive behaviors. Show yourself grace and self-acceptance while you work to change your behavior in a relationship by:

• Practicing self-care
• Being patient and kind to yourself
• Reminiscing about your relationship’s good times
• Practicing gratitude
• Scheduling date nights
• Trying new things together

Starting the journey of behavioral change in a relationship requires intention and effort. Begin by setting clear goals for the kind of partner you want to be and the relationship you want to build. Engage in self-reflection regularly, seeking to understand the triggers of your toxic behaviors and how to manage them effectively.

PIVOT Relationship Coaching Can Teach You How to Change Your Behavior in a Relationship

The key to changing your behavior in a relationship is first to understand what toxic behaviors you practice and where those behaviors stem from. So much of our reactions and connections as adults can be traced back to our environments and relationships as children. PIVOT has relationship coaches for individuals, couples/duos, and adult families to help you process your behaviors and turn the corner to new, healthier relationships

If you want to do a deep dive and see changes more quickly, a PIVOT relationship retreat at the Glass House is the perfect way to get to the root of your behaviors and begin rebuilding your connections with the people you hold most dear. 

Reach out online or call us today; we can help you learn how to change your behavior in a relationship to begin the journey to a healthier, happier life.

You may be accustomed to hearing addiction recovery described in sequential steps, but does that apply to love addiction? Recovery from love addiction, otherwise known as attachment dysregulation, requires you to take a deep look at your attachment style, past traumas, and negative behavior patterns to break the cycle of troubled relationships. After all, love addiction usually comes from an unmet childhood need; to recover, you must examine and treat your attachment wounds. An expert PIVOT relationship coach can help you navigate these love addiction recovery steps.

Love Addiction Recovery Steps Require a Deep Look at Your Unhealed Wounds

With the right support, it is possible to end the painful cycle of troubled relationships and heal from attachment dysregulation, but this process requires dedication and time. You’ll need to hire an expert relationship coach to support you as you take an honest look at your early unmet needs and the behavior and thinking patterns that stem from those emotional wounds. Hiring a coach can offer you the guidance and fresh perspective you need to move past unhealthy behaviors and carve a new path forward.

Recovering from love addiction means unpacking early childhood experiences, and this can feel overwhelming at first. Weekly meetings with your relationship coach allow you to do this deep analysis work at a slower pace. If you want to start feeling better quickly, an immersive love addiction retreat at the PIVOT Glass House can help you figure out why you feel the way you feel, why you attach so deeply, and why the feelings are so intense in just 5 days. Think of love addiction recovery as a box of precious belongings: how quickly do you want to unpack? There is no right or wrong answer – the important part is just choosing to begin.

If you are suffering from one disappointing relationship after another and hungry for rewarding, satisfying love, work with our relationship coaches on the love addiction recovery steps below.

Understanding the Origins of Love Addiction

To begin the journey through the steps outlined above, it is helpful to understand where love addiction comes from and why it grows. 

Love addiction is similar to attachment disorder. It can feel so confusing to experience it because we are taught early on that love isn’t supposed to feel hurtful or addicting. Someone suffering from love addiction is often searching for a love that makes them feel more confident or more complete. It is about a deep, unmet longing that drives one to desire a relationship to make the pain, self-doubt, or insecurity go away. 

Love addiction is often referred to as attachment dysregulation because it usually originates in childhood with early relationships. When caretakers meet a child’s needs incompletely or inconsistently, the child may have attachment wounds and develop unhealthy survival patterns to deal with them. If left unresolved and untreated, this child is likely to form an insecure attachment style that leads to trouble forming and maintaining secure relationships in adulthood. This can lead to attachment dysregulation or love addiction.

The good news is that we can help you with this. With the guidance of a dedicated relationship coach, people can overcome love addiction and build healthier relationships. We can’t “fix” past traumas or make the pain disappear, but we can teach you to transform your relationship with those wounds so they don’t bleed into your future happiness. Our coaching sessions and immersive retreats offer practical, immediate solutions as well as longer-term practices that will provide you with relief both now and for years to come.

Navigating Recovery With Expert Guidance

Completing the love addiction recovery steps on your own can feel overwhelming and challenging. This is particularly true if you have complex trauma or deep emotional wounds. Fortunately, PIVOT relationship coaches specialize in just this type of challenge, and they are ready to help you heal.

Our expert relationship coaches will help you unlock the past to transform your future. Whether you choose weekly remote or in-person coaching sessions or decide to attend an intensive love addiction recovery retreat, your personal coach will walk you through the love addiction recovery steps. We’ll help you understand and cultivate compassion for yourself, explore how you developed a love addiction, and create action-oriented solutions to start enjoying satisfying romantic connections.

Transform Your Life With PIVOT’s Time-Tested Love Addiction Recovery Steps

If you feel like you’ve tried everything and are still unable to connect to your partner in a healthy way, PIVOT offers a unique process to help you heal. Our love addiction recovery steps have successfully guided thousands of individuals toward a healthier, more fulfilling life. By following our steps, you will recognize and escape the survival patterns that have been holding you back and embrace strategies that will help you build and sustain lasting love.

Our professional relationship coaches are here to support you through weekly coaching and intensive retreats. Call us today at 1-855-452-0707 to begin your journey to a healthier, happier life.