lorijeanglass ellipse icons

Author: Lori Jean Glass

When Love Addiction and Narcissism Meet

Posted on by Lori Jean Glass

When love addiction and narcissism intersect, it’s likely that a dysfunctional and imbalanced relationship will occur.  Like a dramatic, passionate dance, this pairing is ruled by widely fluctuating emotional undercurrents that destabilize the relationship.

While a narcissistic partner pushes their needs to a fault, their love-addicted counterpart often sets their own needs aside to please their partner and preserve the relationship. Despite this, the narcissistic partner remains angry and unhappy. They gain the upper hand, and a power differential is established. Without targeted intervention, this struggle may continue indefinitely.

If this sounds like you, there is hope. We’ve put together a hub of resources for you as a place to start. And if you are ready to start working on your relationship in a deeper way,  PIVOT offers relationship coaching to help you both communicate more clearly, unpack past traumas and unhealthy coping mechanisms, and break the toxic cycles in your relationship.

Love Addiction and Narcissism Resources

Anxious Avoidant Relationships: The Co-Addictive TangoCodependency & Narcissism Relationships
Narcissistic Relationship StoriesNarcissistic Love Bombing Cycle
Codependents & Their Struggle for Power & ControlHow to Deal with Disorganized Attachment in a Partner

Recovery From Love Addiction Is Within Reach

love addiction)

Despite the romanticized label, love addiction is a painful behavior pattern that traps sufferers in a cycle of instability.  Rather than forming secure and steady attachments in relationships, a love-addicted partner attaches insecurely due to unresolved emotional wounds and childhood traumas. Though looking for real love, they often choose inappropriate or unavailable partners, thereby perpetuating the cycle and their own emotional misery.

If you see these patterns in your own life and relationships, there is reason for optimism. With the proper support, you can improve your relationship dynamics and find a pathway to secure and stable attachments.

Resources on Recovery From Love Addiction

Love Addiction: Navigating Through HeartbreakLove Addiction Recovery Stories
Love Addiction vs. Real Love: How to Tell the DifferenceNavigating the Love Addiction Recovery Steps
What to Know About Love Addiction TreatmentBreaking the Love Addiction Cycle

Breaking Free From Narcissistic Abuse

man free from narcissistic abuse

It is unquestionably difficult to have a healthy relationship with a narcissistic partner. Though their actions may be abusive, it is necessary to keep in mind that these come from a place of significant pain—their arrogance and superiority camouflage deep-seated insecurity and low self-esteem. The development of narcissistic characteristics often involves aspects of both nature and nurture.

If you are in a relationship with a narcissistic partner or you see characteristics of narcissism in your behavior, healing is possible. Both partners can benefit from relationship coaching that addresses the origins of this behavior pattern and provides proactive strategies to replace harmful choices with healthier ones.

Resources for Breaking Free From Narcissistic Abuse

Recognizing the Signs of a Narcissistic PartnerNarcissistic Love Bombing: All You Need to Know
Love Bombing ExplainedHow to Break the Cycle of Narcissistic Abuse
The Effects of Narcissistic Abuse: How to Heal & Find HappinessNarcissistic Retreat

End Toxic Patterns With Relationship Coaching

Does the clash between love addiction and narcissism resonate with your experience? Do you see yourself and your partner in these roles? We know how devastating and exhausting it can be to deal with these challenges. If you feel drained and hopeless, know that healing is possible and you aren’t alone. 

The PIVOT process was designed specifically for healing this type of dysfunctional relationship. It meets each partner where they are and holds up a mirror. Only by looking back at the influences and relationships that have shaped you can you begin to find a way forward. 

The PIVOT difference involves pairing each partner with their own coach to help you come to terms with your past and understand how it impacts your present and potentially limits your future happiness. This provides twice the expertise and personal coaching power of the average relationship coaching process. We have helped many couples overcome even the toughest of obstacles and build bridges to happy, healthy relationships.

Transform Your Relationships With PIVOT

PIVOT offers relationship coaching for those struggling with love addiction and narcissism. Our expertise in sorting the complexities of these challenges is unparalleled in our industry. Reach out to begin your journey to a healthier, happier life. You can reach us at 1-855-452-0707.

Narcissistic Love Bombing Cycle: All You Need To Know

Posted on by Lori Jean Glass

Lavish affection and adoration are probably not the first thing that comes to mind when you think about narcissistic abuse. You are more likely to remember some of the more frequently talked about manipulation tactics such as gaslighting, playing the victim, humiliation, and other power and control mind games.  

But did you know that one of the favorite narcissistic weapons involves the use of overwhelming flattery and attention? This is known as a narcissistic love bombing cycle, an incredibly effective form of manipulation that pulls you in with promises of exhilarating romance and spits you out feeling dazed, confused, and betrayed. 

If you’ve been the victim of narcissistic abuse, know that you are not alone. You can find the resources and support you need in one of the many Glass House retreats designed for individuals dealing with anxiety in romantic relationships and other emotional struggles.

What Is Love Bombing In Dating?

As the name suggests, love bombing entails overwhelming someone, or rather “bombing” them with excessive signs of affection and attraction. This may include a combination of leaving love notes, flattering comments, sending flowers, and many other tokens of affection. The narcissist will shower you with romantic gestures, increasing their intensity and frequency until you feel like you’re on top of the world and ready to relinquish all sense of control to them and nobody else.

The Root Cause of Love Bombing: Narcissistic Supply

What Is The Purpose Of Love Bombing?

Individuals who employ love bombing techniques tend to suffer from a lack of confidence and a deep feeling of insecurity. Their low self-esteem pushes them to seek constant validation and reassurance, known as narcissistic supply. Unfortunately, nothing is ever enough to satisfy their need for approval and fill the void inside of them. 

Behind their air of confidence and importance, love bombers feel deep down that they are unlovable, undesirable, and unworthy. In order to feel valuable, they resort to a narcissistic love bombing cycle with the aim of giving their ego a much-needed boost and fulfilling their needs for power and control. 

What Is The Purpose Of Love Bombing?

Being showered with affection can be highly intoxicating. The overwhelming positive attention hijacks your dopamine systems, keeping you focused on the source of the love bomb, wanting more. The love bomber will keep you tethered, giving you a taste of what’s to come and then pulling back. This will make you vulnerable to their wide arsenal of manipulation tactics as long as you continue meeting their narcissistic supply needs.

What Does a Narcissistic Love Bombing Cycle Look Like?

Just like many other manipulation techniques, a narcissistic love bombing cycle can be quite sneaky and inconspicuous. It often overlaps with some characteristics of obsessive love and may easily slip under your radar as nothing more than a genuine expression of intense attraction. While you should keep in mind that not everybody who love bombs is automatically a narcissist, it is definitely useful to know how to spot the different forms of this sort of manipulation.

How To Recognize Love Bombing

If you suspect that you may have been a victim of love bombing, look out for the following red flags:

  • They shower you with gifts: flowers, love notes, expensive vacations, the list goes on. The love bomber will take every opportunity to profess their undying love, even at the most inappropriate of times. 
  • Compliments galore: we all love compliments, until they go too far. The narcissist will start complimenting you immediately and intensely, and they won’t stop until you’re stuck deep in their web.
  • Endless calls and texts: while it is perfectly normal to want to communicate with your love interest 24/7 when you first start dating, a love bomber may take things to another level. They will call or text you every hour of every day, bombarding you with praise. 
  • They seek your undivided attention: the narcissist may become angry if you spend time with other people. They will do everything in their power to have your complete focus on them alone, disregarding your boundaries entirely. 
  • They rush into commitment: if your love interest starts talking about moving in together, getting married, or having kids together after dating you for a very short time, there’s a serious possibility that they are love bombing you. 
  • They call you their soulmate: you and the love bomber are made to be together, it’s written in the stars. They will try to convince you of this in many ways, making you feel special and loved. 
  • You feel guilty when you set boundaries: if you try to slow things down and maintain your independence, the love bomber may make you feel guilty and use other manipulation tactics to pull you back. 

How Long Does Love Bombing Last With A Narcissist?

At the start of the relationship, the victim of a narcissist love bombing cycle is likely to feel like they are under the spell of a highly potent drug. This phase may last for weeks, months, years, or even longer. However, this emotional high never lasts forever, and the effects will inevitably start to fade, destroying the carefully crafted facade of happiness and stability.

You may start noticing the red flags only when the love bombing phase starts nearing its end. At this stage, the narcissist might begin to devalue you, subtly and covertly, using a wide array of manipulation tactics. This may include humiliation, withdrawal of affection or physical intimacy, avoidance, shifting blame, gaslighting, and more. All of this serves to make you completely dependent on the love bomber for the validation and affection you were once bombarded with.

PIVOT Can Help You Recover From Narcissistic Abuse

narcissistic love bombing cycle recovery

Escaping from the clutches of emotional manipulation is rarely easy. If you’ve decided to take the first step toward regaining your power and autonomy, you should feel proud of yourself. Taking back your freedom and control requires immense strength of character and a deep self-awareness.

With PIVOT by your side, you can make peace with your deepest wounds and start rebuilding yourself with confidence. We can help you by offering carefully crafted coaching sessions for individuals or providing guidance via our intensive narcissistic abuse retreats.

Transform Your Life and Relationships With PIVOT

By working with PIVOT, individuals can break free from the narcissistic love bombing cycle, rediscover their own sense of self-worth, and create healthier relationships in the future. If you need help recovering from narcissistic abuse, reach out online or at 1-855-452-0707.

  

How To Deal With Disorganized Attachment in a Partner

Posted on by Lori Jean Glass

The Disorganized Attachment Cycle

If you are in a committed relationship with a partner who has a disorganized attachment style, you may be wondering whether healthy and happy love is even possible. Take heart that everyone is capable of finding greater security in their relationships, and your partner is no exception. Caring enough to be part of the process makes you a strong ally in their corner and provides them with a sense of security and safety in the relationship.

If you are wondering how to deal with disorganized attachment in a partner, PIVOT’s expert relationship coaches can help unravel the origins of this attachment style and map out a clear path to healing. With the support of expert PIVOT coaches, you and your partner can work through attachment insecurities and build a stronger connection and a brighter future.

How to Deal With Disorganized Attachment in Your Partner

Since attachment style affects many aspects of adult life, especially romantic relationships, getting help with an insecure attachment style can be very transformative. If your partner desires change and is willing to do the hard work to achieve more security in the relationship, your support will be especially significant. 

While there is abundant information available online about attachment styles, avoid diagnosing or labeling your partner. The complexity of disorganized attachment requires special skills to uncover the origins of childhood trauma and create a pathway to behavioral change. It is best to consult a professional relationship coach who has expertise in identifying the source of relational challenges. 

PIVOT offers relationship coaching through a high-impact process that provides each partner with a dedicated coach. The PIVOT process ensures that each partner’s needs are met throughout the journey, honoring that everyone’s perspective will be very different. We will help you learn to deal with your disorganized attachment partner and help your partner grow in their security and independence. Our process empowers each partner to achieve personal and relational freedom.

It’s true that your partner will have to work hard to overcome a disorganized attachment style, but the work is worth it, and there are ways to support them.

How to Support a Partner With a Disorganized Attachment Style

Be a refuge through the healing process

Since your partner likely lacked stability and security in their childhood caregivers, they will benefit greatly from the safe harbor of a supportive partner as they attempt to heal and change their behavior patterns. Your PIVOT coach will support you so that you can show up for your partner.

Maintain healthy boundaries

With the knowledge that a partner with a disorganized attachment style may be emotionally volatile, it is essential to know and maintain your limits as the healing process unfolds. Your PIVOT coach can help you set and maintain boundaries that protect you.

Be empathetic

Through learning about this complex attachment style–its origins, characteristics, and challenges–you can be a more supportive partner. You will also explore your own attachment style with your PIVOT coach and learn how it impacts your relationship.

Communicate clearly

Your PIVOT coach will arm you with a toolbox of actionable strategies to facilitate effective communication as you navigate the path to more secure attachments.

Be patient

It will take considerable time and effort for your partner to overcome decades of dealing with the effects of childhood trauma. Supporting them will require patience, and fortunately, your PIVOT coach will encourage you when the going gets tough.

Your support will be invaluable as your partner heals their childhood wounds and learns to replace dysfunctional coping mechanisms and survival patterns with sustainable relationship behaviors. Through the PIVOT process, a partner with a disorganized attachment style can gain a stronger self-image and a positive outlook on relationships. Greater attachment security and stronger relational bonds are possible.

Recognizing Disorganized Attachment

Recognizing disorganized attachment in your partner may be challenging; the first clue may be the contradictions in their behavior. With characteristics of both anxious and avoidant attachment styles, people with disorganized attachment styles may display opposite extremes. For instance, they may express love and affection one moment and then seem indifferent or dissatisfied the next. They may also struggle with making decisions about the relationship or avoid discussing the future. If you are frequently troubled by the intensity or unpredictable nature of your partner’s behavior within your relationship, you may be seeing the results of childhood trauma that has led to the development of a disorganized attachment style.

How Does Disorganized Attachment Develop?

Some people with a disorganized attachment style experienced abuse or neglect in their earliest relationships, while others had caretakers who were simply ill-equipped for parenting. Instead of providing a sense of safety and stability, their caretakers became a source of fear and uncertainty. As a result, these children learned to adopt survival patterns from a very young age to help them cope with having their needs met incompletely or inconsistently. These behaviors can be particularly disruptive and destructive to partners in adult relationships. 

Due to the emotional turmoil of their earliest years, partners with a disorganized attachment style suffer from insecurity and find it difficult to trust. Though they crave love and want a relationship, there is a deep fear of rejection and abandonment. These conflicting emotions may set up a self-sabotaging cycle that leaves their partner reeling and unsure of how to help.

Disorganized Attachment Is More Common Than You Think

If you feel alone in dealing with a partner with disorganized attachment, you aren’t. A survey conducted by YouGov in 2023 revealed that 14% of respondents self-selected disorganized attachment as their primary attachment style in relationships. When presented with descriptions of the four attachment styles, 11% of men and 17% of women identified with disorganized attachment, the least common of the three insecure attachment styles. It’s more common than you think, and it’s fixable if your partner is willing to put the work in.

Young man looks at his phone, wondering how to deal with disorganized attachment in a partner.

Work Towards a Brighter Future With PIVOT Coaching

PIVOT relationship coaches offer help for individuals, couples, and families. We’ll give you insight on how to deal with a disorganized attachment partner. Our evidence-based process promotes healing and provides a framework for transformative behavioral change. Reach out to begin the journey to a healthier, happier relationship. You can reach us at 1-855-452-0707.

Broken Trust in Marriage: Root Causes and How to Rebuild

Posted on by Lori Jean Glass

A certain level of trust is essential in any relationship, but in marriage, it is sacred. Your spouse should be someone you can count on and trust implicitly. What happens, then, when trust breaks down in marriage? Broken trust in your marriage may feel cataclysmic, but it doesn’t have to mean divorce. With the support of dedicated PIVOT relationship coaches, it is possible to rebuild broken trust and even strengthen your marriage.

What Causes Broken Trust in Marriage?

The first step to healing broken trust is to understand what causes it in the first place. Often, infidelity, lies, or emotional distance are just symptoms of greater underlying issues that began long before you or your partner ever cheated, lied, or emotionally withdrew from the marriage. As you work with your relationship coach, you’ll learn to identify and unpack the root causes of broken trust in marriage and move towards an actionable solution.

Here are some of the surface causes of broken trust in marriage, a deeper look at why they might arise, and what to do.

Broken Trust in Marriage: The Root Causes and Solutions

Surface Issue

Root Cause

What to Do

Insecurity

Attachment styles developed in childhood often affect security in adulthood, leading to suspicion, doubt, or jealousy in a marriage. An insecure attachment style may contribute to broken trust.

Work with your relationship coach on unpacking and reframing your attachment patterns.

Distance

Daily life can cause stressors that tear couples apart. Distance can creep into a marriage slowly – a missed phone call, an important conversation cut short, or skipped date nights. Physical distance can lead to emotional distance, making intimacy and togetherness challenging.

Regularly communicate openly and honestly. Never take each other for granted – schedule consistent date nights and check-ins.

Secrecy and Lying

Unhealthy communication patterns are usually the root cause of secrecy and deception. Maybe one partner is extremely reactive, suspicious, or jealous due to an insecure attachment style. This may make the other partner feel uncomfortable sharing thoughts with them because they often overreact or take things the wrong way. This can cause the sharing partner to feel closed off, potentially leading to secrecy or even lying.

Working with a relationship coach to develop healthier communication patterns is key here. Both of you might need to work on your communication issues individually and then come together to co-create a better way of relating to each other.

Cheating

The root causes of cheating, whether it be emotional or physical cheating, are often complex. The partner who cheats may feel lonely, isolated, or disconnected from their marriage and seek a connection elsewhere. Or, they may be dealing with insecurity, low self-esteem, or stressors. Instead of using healthy coping mechanisms, the stressed partner may turn to connections outside their marriage to help distract them.

The solution will depend on the root cause, but it will take lots of self-reflection and communication to understand what led to this breach of trust in the first place. It helps to have a relationship coach mediate and guide the conversation so it stays productive and future-oriented.

Restore the Trust in Your Marriage With a Relationship Coach

Acknowledging that you are willing to work past broken trust in your marriage is the first step towards healing. Overcoming this devastating breach is not easy,  and it will take time. With so much doubt, suspicion, and insecurity emanating from the loss of trust, your best chance for overcoming this serious breach is with the expert guidance of a relationship coach. 

At PIVOT, our process with couples is unique. We provide each partner with their own coach to facilitate the challenging work ahead. After each person completes their individual part of the process, their personal coach accompanies them as they meet with their spouse and their coach. Rebuilding trust begins when the couple meets together with their coaches, who can help their clients communicate and advocate for their needs with each other.

Your individual coaches will lead you and your spouse through several steps as you start the rebuilding process:

  • Acknowledge there is a problem with trust and take responsibility.
  • Allow time to grieve and accept the loss of trust.
  • Work to uncover underlying issues that may have preceded the broken trust.
  • Learn to set boundaries.
  • Practice effective communication strategies.
  • Participate in trust-building activities.
  • Work together on a shared plan for the future.

Your best opportunity to overcome broken trust in marriage is through the PIVOT Process, an evidence-based program that has helped thousands of people suffering in unhappy or insecure relationships. Through weekly coaching, we help couples restore trust and create a path to a happier future. For couples who desire a more intensive experience with the same process, we offer a private couples retreat at the Glass House in Northern California. In this immersive experience, you, your spouse, and your individual coaches will have the privacy and resources to work toward a shared solution for your relationship while prioritizing yourself and your needs.

relationship coaches help you overcome broken trust in marriage

Rebuild Broken Trust in Your Marriage With the PIVOT Process

Joining your life with a partner establishes a foundation and support structure that should empower you through life’s ups and downs. A breakdown of trust with your partner can be very destabilizing, shaking the foundation on which your shared life is built.  

Fortunately, with the proper support, you can rebuild your lost trust. PIVOT specializes in relationship coaching for individuals, married couples, and families. Call us at 1-855-452-0707 to begin rebuilding broken trust in your marriage.

Love Addiction vs. Real Love: How to Tell the Difference

Posted on by Lori Jean Glass

We all crave love — it’s one of the most human emotions. But, for some, the need for love morphs into an all-consuming addiction. Love addiction, otherwise known as attachment dysregulation,  can feel intense, sweeping you into passion-filled highs only to drag you into devastating lows when that love is threatened. So, how do you know if what you’re feeling is true love or something more harmful?

In the realm of love, the lines between healthy attachment and attachment dysregulation can get blurry. If you’re constantly questioning the stability of your relationship, it’s important to explore the differences between love addiction vs. real love. PIVOT coaches offer individual and couples relationship coaching as well as private retreats to help you sort through your feelings and break free from the emotional turmoil that attachment dysregulation often brings.

Love Addiction vs. Real Love

Both love addiction and real love come with similar feelings of intense connection and all-consuming focus. But they differ in many key ways. Love addiction is fueled by insecurity and obsession, whereas real love is grounded in mutual respect and emotional security. The diagram below shows you how the two overlap and how you can start to tell the two experiences apart.

love addiction vs real love venn diagram pivot

The Four Types of Love Addiction

Attachment dysregulation can manifest in many ways, but here are four common types of love addiction. 

  1. Obsessive: You may obsess over your partner, often confusing intensity with intimacy. Boundaries are blurred, and your life revolves around your partner’s approval and presence.
  2. Romantic: You may be addicted to the thrill of romance. Once the initial high of the honeymoon phase fades, you may seek out a new relationship to feel that rush again.
  3. Codependent: You focus on caring for your partner to an unhealthy degree, believing you need to sacrifice your own well-being to maintain the relationship.
  4. Narcissistic: You may crave admiration and attention and use your partner to feel validated.

Differentiating Love Addiction

There are a lot of things that can feel like love addiction, but they are different. PIVOT coaches can help you sort through love addiction and other feelings to get to the root cause of your troubles.

Love Addiction vs. Love Avoidance

Love addiction and love avoidance are two sides of the same coin. If you have a love addiction, you most likely chase closeness and fear abandonment, while people who are love-avoidant fear intimacy and feel suffocated by closeness. A toxic cycle forms where you are constantly pursuing connection, and your partner responds by retreating, creating a push-pull dynamic that leaves both of you unsatisfied and unfulfilled.

Love Addiction vs. Codependency

Love addiction and codependency share many similarities: they both involve unhealthy attachment and reliance on a partner to feel whole or secure. However, in codependency, the focus is on caretaking and control, where you may derive your sense of self-worth from “fixing” or helping your partner. In love addiction, your focus is more on receiving love and validation to fill a personal void rather than on taking care of the other person.

Love Addiction vs. Anxious Attachment

Anxious attachment stems from insecurity and fear of abandonment, much like love addiction. Both anxious individuals and those with love addiction tend to cling to their partners, overanalyze small interactions, and worry excessively about rejection. The difference is that love addiction is a broader pattern, encompassing the need for romantic intensity and a constant emotional high, whereas anxious attachment is more about seeking consistent reassurance and stability in relationships.

love addiction vs. real love

The Root Causes of Love Addiction

At the heart of attachment dysregulation, or love addiction, is often a deep-seated fear of abandonment rooted in early childhood experiences. Whether it’s due to inconsistent caregiving, trauma, or attachment wounds, you may subconsciously believe that love is conditional and must be constantly earned. As a result, you become desperate to secure your partner’s affection, fearing rejection or abandonment at every turn. 

Healing from love addiction starts with examining the root causes of your attachment patterns. Working with your PIVOT coach is essential to unpacking your thought processes and behaviors, childhood experiences, and communication preferences to build toward a healthier attachment style.

Can Love Addicts Have Healthy Relationships?

Yes, but it’s complicated. A person struggling with love addiction can still experience moments of connection and genuine care, but these relationships often come with instability, dependency, and fear of abandonment. The truth is, to have a truly healthy relationship, you need to heal your underlying issues and develop healthier patterns of emotional attachment. Real love grows from a place of self-respect, trust, and mutual care, whereas love addiction thrives on anxiety, insecurity, and the need for constant reassurance.

Breaking the Cycle of Love Addiction With PIVOT

Recognizing the difference between love addiction vs. real love is the first step to healing. Real love grows from mutual respect, care, and trust. It feels secure, even when things aren’t perfect. Love addiction, on the other hand, keeps you trapped in a cycle of emotional dependency and fear. Breaking free from love addiction requires introspection, support, and a commitment to self-healing. 

PIVOT can help you end this cycle through a transformative approach and proven tools like relationship coaching and individualized retreats. You can learn to identify your attachment style, break toxic patterns, and cultivate healthier, more fulfilling relationships.

If you’re struggling to differentiate between real love and love addiction, you’re not alone. The good news? With the right guidance and support, you can learn to let go of addictive love, build emotional resilience,  and step into a life where you experience true connection — without fear, obsession, and anxiety.By working with PIVOT, individuals can break free from the cycle of love addiction, rediscover their own sense of self-worth, and create healthier relationships. If you need help differentiating between love addiction vs. real love, reach out online or at 1-855-452-0707.

Recognizing the Signs of a Narcissistic Partner

Posted on by Lori Jean Glass

The label “narcissism” is thrown around a lot nowadays, so much so that it’s almost become trendy. The truth is, spotting a truly narcissistic partner requires more than just noticing a bit of arrogance or self-absorption. Narcissistic behavior goes deeper: it’s manipulative, damaging, and often leaves you questioning your own worth. If you recognize the signs of a narcissistic partner, reach out to the expert relationship coaches at PIVOT. We offer tools and insights to understand and unpack unhealthy relationship dynamics, heal codependency, and work through narcissistic abuse.

Identifying Signs of a Narcissistic Partner

Through specialized relationship coaching, immersive retreats, and educational resources, PIVOT empowers individuals to identify behaviors like manipulation, gaslighting, and emotional inconsistency that are characteristic of narcissistic partners. By learning how to set boundaries, build self-awareness, and prioritize emotional well-being, PIVOT can help you gain the clarity and confidence to take control of your relationships and protect your mental health.

If you feel like you might be in a relationship with a narcissistic partner, here are some questions to ask yourself.

Signs of a Narcissistic Partner: Questions to Consider

Love-Bombing
  • Does the affection feel too intense or too fast?
  • Does your partner get upset or distant if you don’t reciprocate at the same level?

Lack of Empathy
  • Does your partner not seem to care about your feelings?
  • Do you feel isolated or alone after you share something important with them?

Gaslighting
  • Does your partner frequently deny things you know to be true?
  • Does fighting with them make you feel like you’re losing your sanity or grip on reality?

Needs Constant Admiration
  • Is your partner always fishing for compliments?
  • Do they get upset if you don’t acknowledge their accomplishments or appearance constantly?

Controlling Behaviors
  • Does your partner try to dictate who you spend time with or criticize your choices in a way that feels more controlling than caring?

They Play the Victim
  • Do you find yourself apologizing more than you should?
  • Does your partner always shift the blame when conflict arises?

Inconsistent
  • Does your partner flip between affection and coldness with no clear reason?
  • Are you left constantly guessing where you stand with your partner?

Sense of Entitlement
  • Does your partner act like they’re always right or that their needs should come before yours?
  • Do they expect you to sacrifice your own happiness or well-being for their comfort?

Problems With Commitment
  • Is your partner hesitant to commit, even after a significant amount of time together?
  • Do they avoid conversations about the future or keep things vague?

Answering these questions may have stirred up some big feelings. It can be devastating to recognize that you may be involved with a narcissist, but in a way, it is also freeing. You’ve identified part of the problem, now you just need to take the first hard steps towards the solution.

Working with a dedicated relationship coach can help you work through the challenges of being with a narcissistic partner. At PIVOT, our coaches work with couples both individually and together to unpack past traumas, explore healthier communication patterns, and come up with an actionable plan to move forward. Whether you work with us individually or with your partner, you’ll have a compassionate coach advocating for you every step of the way as you work towards a happier future.

And, if you aren’t sure whether you are properly identifying the signs of a narcissistic partner, our relationship coaches can help with that too. Sometimes, what may seem like narcissism is actually something else.

When signs of narcissistic partner are something else

When Narcissistic Behaviors Aren’t Actually Narcissism

For some people, behaviors that seem like narcissism are actually deep-seated core reactions to unresolved trauma. Trauma can cause people to act defensively, seek excessive validation, or struggle with empathy–not because they’re self-absorbed, but because they are protecting themselves from past wounds. These behaviors may mimic narcissism but are actually rooted in fear, insecurity, or emotional pain. PIVOT coaching can help you recognize this distinction so you can respond to your partner compassionately, with healing and understanding instead of blame.

When the Signs of a Narcissistic Partner Actually Mean Something Else

Love-Bombing

 Over-the-top affection at the beginning of a relationship might not be manipulation but just genuine excitement! Your partner might be really into you and trying to show it in every way they know how. If the intensity cools down naturally over time, it might just be the honeymoon phase fading rather than a narcissistic game of love bombing

Makes Everything About Themself

 Your partner might seem self-absorbed because they’re mirroring your stress. If you’ve been so caught up in your day-to-day that they feel overlooked, they could just be desperate to be heard. It’s not healthy, but it’s more about needing connection in a moment of frustration than being a narcissist.

Lack of Empathy

 What looks like a lack of empathy can actually be emotional burnout. If your partner has been trying to support you but is also struggling with their own baggage, they might retreat emotionally; not because they don’t care about you, but because they’re running on empty.

Overly Critical

 Criticism can sometimes come from a place of fear: fear of losing you, of not being good enough themselves, or of their own insecurities. Maybe your partner’s not a narcissist but instead reacting to a sense of inadequacy or a rough patch in the relationship.

Gaslighting

 Gaslighting behavior occasionally stems from fear of confrontation or unhealthy conflict avoidance. Your partner may twist things in the heat of the moment to avoid looking like the bad guy or to protect themselves from emotional fallout. While still toxic, it’s not necessarily a sign of narcissism but of deeper relationship issues, like poor communication or unresolved trauma.

Needs Constant Admiration

 If your partner is feeling insecure, especially during a challenging period in their life, their need for validation might increase. It’s less about a personality disorder and more about looking for comfort from you.

Controlling Behaviors

 In some cases, needing control comes from anxiety rather than a desire to dominate. If your partner has been hurt in the past or fears abandonment, their controlling behavior might be a misguided attempt to keep the relationship stable. It’s still unhealthy and definitely needs to be addressed, but it’s rooted in fear, not narcissism.

PIVOT can help you change your behavior if you’re unintentionally triggering your partner into these narcissistic-like negative reactions. With our intensive relationship retreats and coaching sessions, PIVOT helps you identify your own emotional patterns, actions, and personal triggers that may be contributing to this unhealthy relationship dynamic. By teaching you how to respond calmly, set boundaries, and express your needs in a constructive way, PIVOT guides you in shifting the way you interact with your partner. This not only helps reduce conflict but also pivots you to a healthier, more supportive relationship where both partners can thrive.

Transform Your Relationship With PIVOT

If you recognize signs of a narcissistic partner in your relationship, reach out to begin the journey to a healthier, happier life. We can work with you individually or together with your partner to reach relational freedom. You can reach us at 1-855-452-0707.

A Marriage Retreat for Troubled Marriages Can Make All the Difference

Posted on by Lori Jean Glass

Many couples experience marriage troubles from time to time, from ineffective communication that leads to misunderstandings to a misalignment of sex drives. However, when troubles pile up or remain unresolved, you may need to seek intervention. While weekly marriage counseling is beneficial, the slow pace of change may leave you feeling impatient. 

Though everyone’s threshold is different, most people recognize when occasional marriage troubles escalate to a troubled marriage. If you and your partner are tired of the status quo and ready to focus on work that creates noticeable differences, a PIVOT marriage retreat for troubled marriages will provide the focus and intensity you need to heal and deepen your connection.

A Marriage Retreat for Troubled Marriages Provides Intensive Intervention

If your marriage has become a source of stress instead of support, it’s time for intensive intervention. In contrast with weekly marriage counseling, a marriage retreat provides the opportunity to leave daily distractions behind for a short, concentrated effort to address the trouble and seek long-term solutions.  An intensive marriage retreat can provide a lifeline to quickly address the troubling signs that have infiltrated your relationship.

How a Marriage Retreat for Troubled Marriages Can Benefit You

Signs of Trouble

What It Looks Like

How a PIVOT Marriage Retreat Can Help

Lack of communication
  • Misunderstandings
  • Unresolved conflicts
  • Dragged out fights
  • Lashing out

Coaches model and provide practice in effective communication strategies to defuse conflict quickly and peacefully.

Growing apart

Guided exercises help you to recapture physical and emotional intimacy.

Hurtful behavior
  • Lying
  • Flirting
  • Infidelity

A developmental psychology approach helps you uncover the origins of relationship troubles and identify the survival patterns that may be sabotaging your relationship..

Lack of respect
  • Failure to consider your spouse
  • Overly critical
  • Broken trust

Coaches will help you build a better, more secure relationship with yourself, which is the starting point to establishing a healthier, more reciprocal relationship with your spouse.

How a PIVOT Marriage Retreat Improves a Troubled Marriage

When you make the decision to devote time and energy to fixing a troubled marriage, you need the proper resources to facilitate change. Our marriage retreats provide the support and groundwork you need to work through your troubles. 

Before your work as a couple can begin, you have to understand yourself more completely. Looking back at the past helps you to know how you arrived at your present. Understanding how certain life events from your past have generated the survival patterns that drive your present relationships will bring valuable insight and inspire compassion for yourself.

Once you and your spouse gain personal insights, it is time to work together on your relationship dynamics. With guidance from your PIVOT coaches, you will practice effective strategies for communication, problem-solving, and resolving conflicts. During this process, you and your partner will work individually and together with your coaches, who act as advocates for you as you work through your issues with your partner. You will receive a toolbox of versatile and readily applicable strategies to support change as you create a plan for your shared future.

two expert relationship coaches discuss strategies with a married couple

The Benefits of an Intensive Marriage Retreat

PIVOT specializes in coaching individuals, couples, and families to live their best lives through personal growth and find healthier, more fulfilling relationships. Our marriage retreats have helped many couples make deeper connections and achieve greater life satisfaction.   

What sets a PIVOT marriage retreat for troubled marriages apart is it’s unprecedented.

PIVOT Marriage Retreat Benefits
Privacy A PIVOT marriage retreat includes just one couple–you and your spouse. This allows you privacy and the opportunity to focus exclusively on healing your marriage.
Environment The PIVOT Glass House provides a scenic vista away from life’s distractions. In this calming environment, you can quiet your mind, turn off your electronics, and focus on rebuilding your marriage.
Expertise of Coaches Every PIVOT marriage retreat is organized and facilitated by specially certified coaches. These specialists in relationship dynamics have all completed the PIVOT Process for themselves before being trained to facilitate for others. Some of them hold additional certifications in other therapeutic modalities.
Process The PIVOT Process is an evidence-based intervention consisting of high-impact solutions for behavioral change. It was developed in a clinical setting and has been implemented with thousands of people, improving their relationships with themselves and their partners.
Customization No two people are identical, and each marriage has a unique character. For this reason, each PIVOT marriage retreat is customized to the two individuals involved. Whether your marriage is in crisis or you are looking for a closer, more cohesive relationship, your goals will help to guide the experience.
Individual Support You and your partner will each get your own PIVOT coach, which ensures you have your own personal advocate for the process. This support is invaluable during tough conversations, where having someone in your corner helps you express yourself and set boundaries. It also ensures that each partner is heard and their positions are respected. This kind of advocacy is unique to our program, and couples find it extremely helpful.
Resources At PIVOT, we believe that a healthy relationship with yourself is a prerequisite to secure, fulfilling relationships outside of yourself. We provide the framework to get to know yourself and the resources to work around your own circumstances (physical and emotional health, grief and anger, parenting, etc.).
Follow-up Though your PIVOT marriage intensive is a 1-3 day retreat, the support does not end there. You can continue with virtual sessions if you wish; we are always here for you.
coach acts as a personal advocate at a marriage retreat for troubled marriages

Transform Your Relationship With a PIVOT Marriage Retreat for Troubled Marriages

PIVOT offers relationship coaching for individuals, couples, and families. Our marriage retreat for troubled marriages provides a lifeline with unprecedented benefits for couples who are struggling. Reach out today at 1-855-452-0707 and begin your journey to a healthier, happier marriage.

Instagram Youtube Facebook-square

© 2025 Lori Jean Glass, LLC