Trust Archives

Rebuilding Trust After Relationship Betrayal: Is It Possible?

Posted on February 7, 2024 by Lori Jean Glass

The fabric of any relationship is intricately woven with threads of trust, understanding, and mutual respect. When this fabric is torn by the betrayal of trust in a relationship, it leaves a lasting impact that resonates through its very core.

When the foundations are shaken in a close partnership, it opens up a complex emotional landscape that may not be easy to navigate. It’s a journey marked not just by the challenge of overcoming the incident but also by the opportunity for deeper understanding and connection.

The experience of being let down by someone close doesn’t just impact the present moment. It reverberates through the memories and future plans shared between the partners. It leaves them facing a whirlwind of emotions and tough choices about the path ahead. This situation tests not only the bond between them but also brings about a profound self-reflection and evaluation of their dynamics.

Choosing to move forward after such an event is a significant decision, requiring a mix of introspection, honest communication, and a shared commitment to growth. At the core of this exploration is the question of resilience and renewal in partnerships. Can a bond not only survive such testing times but also emerge stronger and more honest?

Can Someone Love And Still Betray You?

It may be difficult to understand how someone can care deeply yet make choices that hurt their partner. Human emotions are complex and often contradictory. It’s possible for someone to care for their partner truly yet make decisions that result in betraying trust in a relationship.

This situation usually reflects more than just the state of their emotions. Factors like flawed decision-making, personal weaknesses, or external pressures can lead to such hurtful actions. Recognizing this doesn’t mean excusing the hurt caused, but it does provide a broader perspective. Sometimes, these actions aren’t about a lack of affection but rather about individual struggles or unmet emotional needs.

What To Do When Trust Is Broken In A Relationship?

Navigating the aftermath of betrayed trust in a relationship is challenging, often leaving both partners grappling with hurt and confusion. To move towards healing and possibly mending the bond, some of these steps can be helpful:

1. Acknowledging The Hurt

It’s important for both individuals involved to recognize and validate the pain caused. The person responsible for the hurt might want to own up to their actions, showing genuine remorse, while the aggrieved partner should openly express how the incident affected them. This step is crucial for laying the groundwork for any potential reconciliation.

2. Seeking Understanding

Understanding why the disappointment occurred is also important. This step goes beyond justifying the actions. The partners should uncover the root causes, whether they are emotional, situational, or a combination of various factors. Sometimes, the reasons behind such actions are complex and require a deep dive into personal or mutual issues within the bond.

3. Deciding On The Future

Both partners must decide clearly about their willingness and ability to work on mending the bond. This decision should be grounded in honesty and a realistic assessment of whether the bond can withstand this storm. The partners must weigh the love and history against the hurt and decide if the relationship is salvageable.

4. Engaging In Open Communication

Transparent and empathetic communication is the cornerstone of this process. It involves not just talking but actively listening to each other’s perspectives and feelings. Through open dialogue, misunderstandings can be clarified, and a pathway for healing can be established.

5. Seeking Professional Help

In many cases, the assistance of a therapist or counselor can be invaluable. These professionals can provide guidance and tools for healing and suggest effective activities to rebuild trust in a relationship. Their expertise can offer a neutral perspective and help navigate the complex emotions and challenges involved.

Can A Relationship Recover From Betrayal?

The prospect of healing and regaining strength in a bond after a significant disappointment is a complex issue. Recovery in such scenarios is difficult but not impossible. The process hinges on the willingness and dedication of both partners to navigate through the aftermath together.

Key to this journey is reconstructing the foundation of the bond through openness and mutual respect. This demands time, consistent effort, and a great deal of patience from both individuals involved.

Often, in the process of rebuilding trust and honesty in a relationship after betrayal, partners who successfully manage to work through their issues find that their connection deepens. This heightened understanding and stronger bond come from facing and overcoming the challenges together. However, this process is far from straightforward. The partners will likely need to have difficult but essential conversations, address uncomfortable truths, and strive to understand and forgive one another.

As the process unfolds, asking meaningful questions to rebuild trust in a relationship can be instrumental. These conversations can help clarify misunderstandings, establish new boundaries, and reaffirm commitments. The outcome, whether it leads to a stronger partnership or a respectful parting, hinges on the depth of understanding and the efforts put into the healing journey.

How To Rebuild Trust In A Relationship After Betrayal?

Rebuilding trust and honesty in a relationship after betrayal is a nuanced process that requires time and intentional effort. Simply choosing to stay together may not be enough. This process requires both individuals to deeply commit to understanding and processing the emotions that surface.

1. Committing To The Process

Both individuals need to wholeheartedly commit to the healing journey. This commitment goes beyond the decision to remain in the relationship. It requires mutual dedication to understanding each other’s feelings and working through the challenges that arise.

2. Ensuring Complete Transparency

For the partner who caused the hurt, maintaining complete transparency is essential. This involves open communication about their actions and future intentions, providing the necessary reassurances and clarity to rebuild a sense of trust.

3. Establishing New Boundaries

Jointly setting new boundaries is a critical step. These boundaries will be the foundation for the new phase of the relationship, helping prevent the recurrence of past issues and fostering a sense of mutual respect and honesty.

4. Demonstrating Commitment Through Actions

In situations involving betrayed trust in a relationship, consistently demonstrating commitment through actions is more effective than words alone. The partner who caused the hurt may need to show, through their behavior, their dedication to repairing and strengthening the relationship.

5. Embracing Forgiveness

Forgiveness plays a key role in the healing process. The individual might need to make a conscious choice to move forward without holding onto resentment, understanding that forgiveness is as much about personal peace as it is about absolving the other’s actions.

6. Creating New Positive Experiences

Participating in shared activities to rebuild trust in a relationship can significantly aid in healing. Engaging in new hobbies, planning shared experiences, or simply investing quality time together can foster reconnection and strengthen the emotional bond.

Heal From Betrayed Trust In A Relationship With PIVOT

Our trustworthy Glass House retreat offers a sanctuary for deep emotional healing and trust restoration. This serene and supportive environment is the perfect setting for individuals grappling with the aftermath of relationship issues.

At our retreat, you’ll be guided by expert coaches who specialize in relationship dynamics and emotional recovery. They provide personalized support, blending therapeutic techniques with compassionate understanding. Our program includes a mix of compassionate individual sessions, group discussions, and reflective activities, all designed to address the nuances of trust issues.

Whether you’re seeking to heal individually or considering the future of your relationship, our retreat offers a safe space to explore these decisions. You’ll leave with not only a deeper understanding of your experiences but also practical tools and strategies to build healthier, more resilient relationships.

Begin a new chapter in your journey toward healing and trust. Join our retreat and take a significant step towards a more fulfilling and trusting future in your relationships.

Betrayal Trauma in a Relationship: What Is It?

Posted on February 7, 2024 by Lori Jean Glass

“Stab the body and it heals, but injure the heart and the wound lasts a lifetime.”

~ Mineko Iwasaki

“For there to be betrayal, there would have to have been trust first.”

~ Suzanne Collins

Painful as they may be to accept, the above betrayal in a relationship quotes have more than a single element of truth to them.

Betrayal is a blade. When it strikes, it strikes with brutal efficiency. When it cuts, it cuts with merciless precision. And when it wounds, it wounds the very soul, for the victim is unsuspecting.

Betrayal trauma in a relationship is so potent and enduring because it shatters the very essence, the very premise upon which every connection is built: trust. Fortunately, there is a silver lining. What’s been shattered can be rebuilt, and every wound, no matter how deep, can heal.

However, for the restoration process to even begin, the foundation needs to be rebuilt with a deeper understanding of its constituents. So, let us delve deep and familiarize ourselves with the definition of betrayal trauma and the psychological reasons behind it.

What Is Betrayal Trauma In A Relationship?

First introduced in 1991 by psychologist Jennifer Freyd, Betrayal Trauma Theory was developed as a framework to explain cognitive and emotional processes that occur when a person experiences betrayal, most notably in instances of abuse or harm within close relationships.

Since then, numerous studies have explored the impact of betrayal in various contexts, ultimately crystallizing the definition of betrayal trauma into what it is today:

Betrayal trauma refers to emotional and psychological distress that a person experiences after suffering betrayal within a relationship, particularly by someone they trust and/or depend upon.

Let’s put this in simpler terms through a hypothetical scenario: Person A relies upon Person B (e.g., romantic partner, caregiver, etc.) to fulfill their physical or emotional needs. If Person B continuously fails to meet expectations, whether deliberately or unintentionally, this effectively erodes the trust upon which the relationship is built.

However, since Person A is dependent on Person B, they can remain trapped in this cycle of shattered trust, broken promises, and endless disappointment, which typically triggers betrayal trauma, taking a severe toll on their physical, emotional, and mental well-being.

What Triggers Betrayal Trauma?

Betrayal is a complex issue for three main reasons. First, it can take many forms, some of which may seem innocent or insignificant at a glance. Second, the perception of this issue varies on an individual level, making it difficult (not impossible) to address the problem.

Third, betrayal in a relationship doesn’t have to be conscious or deliberate. While some instances involve intentional actions, many others may result from misunderstandings, poor communication, or individual struggles.

Of course, this doesn’t mean that unintentional betrayals are excusable or negligible. They can still cause significant harm, triggering or contributing to the formation of a betrayal trauma response.

What Counts As Betrayal In A Relationship?

From a socio-cultural standpoint, there is sort of a widely accepted “consensus” on what betrayal in a relationship is in terms of actions and behaviors. The most common examples include:

Infidelity: For most people, this is the very definition of betrayal in a relationship, as engaging in a romantic/sexual affair with a third party directly violates the exclusivity implied by the nature of a committed partnership.
Deception/dishonesty: Withholding critical information or outright lying about things directly pertaining to the relationship, including thoughts, feelings, or concerns, are all typically considered a gross violation of trust.
Broken promises: In this instance, the “promise” does not necessarily mean a verbal pledge. Instead, it’s about failing to fulfill commitments upon which the premises of the relationship reside.
Emotional neglect: Being dismissive, unsupportive, or outright ignoring a partner’s emotional needs often leaves a person feeling let down.
Disrespect: Whether through words or actions, being continuously inconsiderate of the partner’s thoughts, ideas, dreams, standpoints, worldviews, boundaries, or actions undermines one of the most fundamental principles of a healthy relationship: mutual respect.
Financial betrayal: Making financial decisions without the partner’s knowledge or agreement can constitute betrayal in a relationship, especially if both parties’ livelihood depends on joint finances.

The important thing to note here is that, with the exception of infidelity, the previous examples aren’t exclusive to romantic partnerships. Rather, they are applicable to various instances, including parent/child, friendly/platonic, and even professional relationships.

What Does Betrayal Trauma Look Like?

Like any other type of trauma, this one can manifest itself in a wide variety of ways, many of which can have far-fetched consequences on a person’s mental, emotional, and even physical health. Some common reactions to betrayal in a relationship include:

Emotional Distress:
- Shock and disbelief are common initial reactions, especially if betrayal is sudden and unexpected.
- Intense sadness usually follows after shock and disbelief, with a profound sense of loss and deep emotional pain resembling a grieving process.
Behavioral changes:
- Self-isolation: A person may withdraw from social interactions, closing themselves off from family and friends.
- Irritability: Anger is a common response to betrayal and can lead to bouts of short temper.
Cognitive responses:
- Intrusive thoughts: Betrayal can cause a person to relive the traumatic event over and over, making it challenging to focus on other aspects of life.
- Impaired cognitive functions: Persistent distressing thoughts may lead to difficulty concentrating, focusing, and decision-making.
Altered perceptions:
- Diminished self-esteem: A severe breach of trust can lead a person to start questioning their own value and self-worth.
- Trust issues: Betrayal trauma can cause an overwhelming and persistent lack of trust, even in aspects of life unrelated to relationships.
- Re-victimization potential: In some instances, the victim’s perception of love can be altered to include betrayal as a default operating method, driving the person to not only expect it but continuously seek it out.
Mental health challenges:
- Dissociation: Some individuals may temporarily “disconnect” from their feelings, becoming emotionally numb as a way of coping with overwhelming pain.
- Hypervigilance: A victim may become overly cautious or reactive to potential threats.
- Anxiety/Depression: These are among the most common psychological responses to betrayal trauma.
- Maladaptive coping mechanisms: In the most severe cases, victims may turn to substance abuse or excessive use of distractions to deal with emotional pain.

Who Can Help Me Overcome Betrayal Trauma In A Relationship?

“Love comes to those who still hope after disappointment,

who still believe after betrayal, and who still love after they’ve been hurt.”

~ Unknown Author

There’s an undeniable truth in the previous relationship betrayal quote. Yet, for the betrayed, it may be difficult to grasp that they are still deserving of love and a partnership, at least not without a gentle nudge in the right direction.

PIVOT is here to provide more than a gentle nudge. At our serene Glass House Retreat, compassionate coaches provide personalized support, empowering individuals to embrace the future of healthy relationships and genuine connections. Join us today and let us help you uncover the true motives behind treacherous actions and turn the betrayal trauma of a past relationship into a tool for carving a better future!

Are They Right For Me? Here’s How To Tell

Posted on January 27, 2020 by Lori Jean Glass

Being in a relationship isn’t always easy – not only does maintaining a relationship require you to put in a good amount of time and effort in order to make it work, but it can also cause great pain and distress if you’re not careful. Overcoming relationship challenges is oftentimes exhausting – handling conflicts with your partner and letting your guard down in the relationship can take a toll on anyone.
Because of this, many people are hesitant to commit once again if they’ve experienced controlling or codependent behavior in a relationship. Unless you’ve known your new love interest for a really long time, it can be difficult to figure out if entering a relationship with them is a good idea. After all, not all people are who they appear to be. So, how do you know if the person you’re interested in would be a good match?
In this article, we’ll share some of the most common relationship red flags as well as give you some tips on spotting a controlling person. Read on!

What Are The Red Flags Of A Relationship?

Once you enter the dating scene after being in an unhealthy relationship, it’s only natural that you’ll feel reluctant to give your heart to the first person that comes along. If that’s the case, you should look out for these warning signs before entering a serious relationship:

They don’t express their true feelings. Honesty is key in any relationship. If your love interest can’t seem to communicate their thoughts and feelings openly, they may not be right for you.
They are unpredictable and immature. Your partner should be at the same level of maturity as you. If they can’t seem to get the hang of their own life, don’t expect them to be there for you when you need them the most.
They struggle with building trusting relationships. If they aren’t willing to open up and be vulnerable, you may want to stay away. We all have our own issues, of course, but having to break your back to make your partner trust you is not a good sign.
They are possessive and jealous. Controlling behavior is a major red flag. If your new love interest tries to keep you away from your family and friends and wants to know where you are at all times, it’s best to run and never look back.
They are hiding their past. While you don’t have to know everything about your partner’s past, you shouldn’t be kept in the dark, especially if they have a history of illegal or suspect behaviors.
They can’t get over their past relationships. If they keep talking about their ex, they are probably not ready to commit to you. Blaming an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend for everything that went wrong is another red flag, too.
They are abusive. This one’s a no-brainer. Abusive and aggressive behavior, whether physical or psychological, especially in the early stages of dating, should never be tolerated.

How Do You Know When A Relationship Is Wrong For You?

Just like with everything else in life, nothing is black and white in relationships. All couples have their own struggles and doubts, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that the entire relationship is unhealthy. That being said, some relationships are simply not healthy for both parties.
Here are six questions you can ask yourself to evaluate whether your relationship is worth fighting for:

Does my partner take away all of my time and energy?
Do I feel like an independent individual in this relationship?
Is the relationship affecting other aspects of my life negatively?
Do I feel good next to my partner?
Am I certain of their feelings toward me?
Has my relationship negatively affected my mental state?

If you relate to one or more of the abovementioned questions, you may want to consider breaking off the relationship. This would be the best course of action especially if you’ve experienced signs of depression or have trouble functioning in your daily life because of the distress your relationship has caused you. If you can’t break it off, you may struggle with attachment wounds.

Signs You’re In The Right Relationship

While no relationship is perfect, there are ways to tell if your relationship is healthy both for you and your partner. You’re on the right track if you and your partner:

Are still attracted to each other.
Accept and respect each other.
Nurture healthy ways of resolving conflicts.
Recognize each other’s needs
Get along with each other’s friends and families.
Feel comfortable and true to yourselves when you’re together.

What Are The Signs Of A Controlling Person?

Controlling personalities have their way of sneaking into your life, even if you know a thing or two about emotional manipulation. That is why keeping an eye out for toxic behavior when dating is essential if you want to protect yourself from pain and disappointment.

Common Controlling Behavior Patterns

Look out for these signs if you suspect that your current or potential partner may be a controlling person:

They criticize you for the littlest things. These individuals love making you feel small by pointing out even the smallest of your mistakes and flaws, whether they are related to the relationship, your appearance, or your professional life.
They try to drive a wedge between you and your friends and family. Controlling personalities will work subtly but diligently on making you feel isolated from your family and friends, so look out if your partner is trying to separate you from the people you love.
They gaslight you. Controlling individuals have a tendency to make you second-guess yourself and even doubt your own sanity. If let’s say, you’re upset about them saying something insensitive, they’ll pretend they never said it and that you’re imagining things.
They make their love conditional. If you hear something like: “I’d love you so much better if you lost some weight” or anything along those lines, you may be dealing with a manipulative personality. They always make you feel like you have to change for their love.
They are paranoid and jealous. When these individuals say they want you to themselves, they mean it. Controlling personalities tend to be extremely jealous, possessive, and at times paranoid.
They may be abusive. While they may not show their true colors at the start of the relationship, aggressiveness and abusive behavior may show up later on. People with control issues aren’t strangers to all kinds of physical and psychological abuse.

What Causes Control Issues?

Exactly what leads to control issues isn’t exactly clear. One thing is certain, however – the roots of controlling behavior patterns more often than not reach back to the person’s childhood. Many controlling personalities had unhappy childhoods and were raised by neglectful, absent, or abusive parents.
Another possible cause may be particularly low self-esteem. Even if they seem intimidating, powerful, and in control, or at least they want to be perceived that way, their control issues possibly stem from hurt, neglect and deep insecurities.

The PIVOT Process: Your Key To Better Relationships

At PIVOT, we love helping our clients fix their relationship problems or heal their wounds after an unhealthy relationship. Whether you need codependency coaching or struggle with building trust in your relationships, the knowledgeable PIVOT Advocates can help. We offer different forms of support, including couples and individual coaching for relationship problems, as well as intensive 5-day retreats at The Glass House.
Transform your relationships today!

Vulnerability And Trust In Relationships: How To Let Your Guard Down

Posted on January 23, 2020 by Lori Jean Glass

Being in a relationship means letting the other person in and allowing them to see you for who you truly are, insecurities and all. Unfortunately, not all of us find it easy to share our deepest feelings and thoughts. In fact, for many people, building trust in relationships is one of the hardest aspects of being in one.
Building emotional intimacy with your partner wouldn’t be possible unless you trust them and feel comfortable being vulnerable around them. Naturally, it can be difficult to trust someone who’s dealing with commitment issues but learning how to trust your partner is a must if you want the relationship to work.
Read on to learn how to let your guard down in a relationship and trust your partner.

Can You Be In Love With Someone And Not Trust Them?

We don’t choose who we love, that’s just the way it is. Even if you feel like you shouldn’t trust your partner for one reason or another, that doesn’t mean that you can’t have deep feelings for them. However, a relationship can hardly work unless both parties are willing to show trust. In fact, trust should be the cornerstone of any relationship. Without it, disappointments and conflicts in your relationship are bound to pile up, often reaching a breaking point if not addressed properly.

Why Trust Is Important In A Relationship

Lack of trust is one of the most common reasons for breakups. Unless both parties are willing to build their partnership on trust, it’s likely that they will encounter countless issues later on. Here’s why trust is essential:

It’s hard to feel comfortable around someone you can’t trust.
Mutual trust is necessary for overcoming relationship obstacles.
Trust issues can be a great source of anxiety and stress.
Trust enables you to be your true self around your partner.

Is Being Vulnerable A Weakness?

Being vulnerable is hard. We can never know how other people will treat us, and risking showing our true feelings and opening up our hearts just to end up hurt and disappointed is a frightening thought. But just because vulnerability is scary to most of us doesn’t mean that it’s a weakness. On the contrary, being vulnerable takes outstanding courage and is absolutely necessary for building meaningful relationships.
To be vulnerable means to truly feel and let our emotions show. If we approach vulnerability as a weakness, we do the same with our feelings, and our feelings are more than valid. Respecting and embracing our deepest feelings and letting them show is the only way to build genuine and lasting connections with other people. So, no, vulnerability is not a weakness – if anything, it’s a strength and a great one at that.

How To Be Vulnerable In A Relationship

If you are struggling with being vulnerable in a relationship, know that you aren’t alone. Most of us have trouble letting our guard down and admitting that we’re insecure or afraid. Still, putting up a brave front will only distance you from your partner. Luckily, we can all change – it’s never too late to learn how to be more vulnerable.

Make Examining Your Feelings A Habit

Avoiding and suppressing emotions will only lead to deeper insecurities and distance you from your true self. Only if you make an effort to check in with yourself on a regular basis and clarify how you really feel will enable you to understand and accept who you really are.

Face Your Fears And Insecurities

Running away from your fears will do you no good. Instead, you should focus on precisely the thoughts and feelings that cause you distress. By reaching the parts of yourself that are buried deep, you’ll be able to integrate the negative and hurtful aspects of your personality and become more comfortable with vulnerability.

Share Your Thoughts And Passions

Just as you should face the dark parts of yourself, you should also freely speak about anything that makes you happy or that you’re passionate about. Even if you think that your wishes and goals may sound silly or stupid to some, open up anyways and let your partner see what actually moves you in life.

How Do You Know If You Can Trust Someone?

While learning how to show trust in a relationship is extremely important, that doesn’t mean that you should trust everybody. In the dating phase or early in a relationship, it can be hard to know if the other person is trustworthy or not. If you spot the following behaviors, you may want to reconsider the relationship:

They accuse you of behaviors they are guilty of. If your partner or love interest gets jealous for no reason and accuses you of being dishonest, they may be projecting their own flaws on you. They don’t trust themselves and, in turn, can’t trust anyone else.
They lack empathy. Untrustworthy people don’t care if they’ve hurt someone. And if they do feel guilty, they will rationalize their actions in all kinds of ways, trying to diminish the impact that their behavior has on other people.
They are fickle in decision-making. If you’re dating a person who’s volatile and inconsistent in their behavior, don’t be surprised if they turn out to be unfaithful or dishonest. Such individuals don’t seem to know what they want and tend to be untrustworthy.
They share other people’s secrets. This one applies to both romantic relationships and friendships. If they gossip and talk about things that were said to them in confidence, rest assured that they will do the same to you too.
They lie even to themselves. If you notice that the person you’re with sees themselves in a way that’s wildly inconsistent with how other people see them, you may want to pass on the relationship. This means that they don’t want to face the painful truth about themselves so they create their own reality.

The PIVOT Process: Positive Change Is Possible

If you’re struggling with trust in your relationships, know that things can always change for the better. Learning to trust is a choice – it may take some time and considerable effort, but the results will undoubtedly be worth it. Close relationships are built on trust and overcoming your trust issues is the only way to connect to your partner on a deeper level.
Sometimes, we all need a helping hand when it comes to our relationship struggles. With guidance from PIVOT Advocates, you can work your way towards healthier relationships and a greater understanding of both your partner and yourself.
At PIVOT, we provide help to individuals struggling with a wide variety of problems, including trust issues, low self-esteem, or codependency problems in relationships. We offer effective relationship coaching for individuals and couples, as well as intensive relationship workshops and 5-day retreats at the Glass House. Contact us today!

Intimacy In Relationships: What You Should Know

Posted on December 27, 2019 by Lori Jean Glass

Many couples tend to confuse intimacy with sexual activities in their relationship. What they don’t know, however, is that true intimacy comes in many forms, all of which have to do with building trust and enhancing closeness between partners.
Being in a relationship comes with a myriad of struggles, including everything from emotional withdrawal and silent treatment to engulfment and control. For many people, dealing with issues in their personal relationships can take a great toll on their mental health and decrease the overall quality of their lives. That’s why building intimacy with your partner is a must if you want you and your partner to be happy and your relationship to last.
In this blog post, we’ll tell you all about the meaning of intimacy and how to improve intimacy in a relationship.

What Is Intimacy In A Relationship?

What does true intimacy mean? Well, by definition, intimacy involves feelings of closeness, vulnerability, and openness between partners in a relationship. While intimate relationships typically include physical acts of love, they don’t necessarily have to be sexual.
A sexual relationship may or may not include emotional intimacy between two partners. This is why we may have one-night stands and other sexual acts that don’t involve intimacy and love.

What Are The Four Types Of Intimacy?

Intimacy manifests itself in many ways. A healthy relationship would include and nourish each of the following types of intimacy:

Emotional intimacy means that you are able to share your deepest thoughts and feelings with your partner and don’t fear being vulnerable around them. Nourishing this form of intimacy is essential for maintaining a healthy relationship.
Physical intimacy entails acts of affection between two partners. While this type of intimacy does involve sexual activities, it isn’t the same as sexual intimacy. It also involves everything from kissing and hugging to holding hands with your partner.
Intellectual intimacy includes sharing thoughts, ideas, and feelings with your partner. For instance, talking about your interests and favorite music will help you deepen the intellectual or cognitive intimacy with your partner.
Experiential intimacy means sharing experiences with your partner, whether it’s traveling together, taking a walk, going to the movies, or any other activity that can bring you closer together.

How Do You Rebuild Intimacy In A Relationship?

Building intimacy in a relationship is crucial if you want to have a mature and lasting bond with your partner. Here are some tips for restoring the feelings of intimacy in your relationship.

Talk Things Through

If you no longer feel connected to your partner, you should first try to determine the underlying struggles that may have caused your emotional intimacy issues and have an honest conversation about them. Just make sure to be completely honest and attentive to what your partner has to say – healthy communication in a relationship is a must if you want it to work.

Share Experiences

Instead of spending your evenings on your phone while your partner is on a computer, try engaging in activities you both get to enjoy. For instance, going on a weekend trip or simply seeing a movie together will help build a stronger bond and bring you closer together.

Work On Physical Intimacy Too

While emotional intimacy should definitely be your starting point, it’s important that you don’t neglect the physical aspect of the relationship. Sexual activities and other physical acts of love, such as cuddling and hugging, can greatly improve your mood and help you reconnect with your partner.

Give It Time

You can’t rebuild intimacy overnight, especially if you’re trying to repair a relationship after a crisis or infidelity. If you are patient with your partner and communicate openly with them, you will manage to rebuild trust and deepen the connection over time.

What Are Some Good Relationship-Building Activities For Couples?

No relationship can work without effort from both parties. If you and your partner need help maintaining intimacy, experts recommend the following healthy relationship workshop activities for strengthening the bond with your partner:

Extend cuddle time: many couples get so lost in their busy lives that they forget to cuddle. Cuddling a couple of times per week can do wonders for deepening the connection with your partner.
Allow your partner to vent: a great exercise for enhancing intimacy is to have uninterrupted listening sessions. This means that you should set a timer, let your partner speak and simply listen to what they have to say, without judgment and defensiveness.
Play the 5 things game: this simple but versatile exercise is both fun and effective. It involves you and your partner taking turns to state five things on a certain topic, such as “what are the five things you’d like to change in your life”, or anything along those lines.
Engage in soul gazing: Sit face to face with your partner with your knees almost touching. Try to maintain eye contact and say nothing for around 3-5 minutes. You can make the exercise easier by playing a song and trying soul gaze while it lasts.
Have weekly meetings: Many relationship struggles arise from a lack of communication between partners. By having conversations without distractions every week, you can get insight into your partner’s thoughts and avoid communication errors.

It’s important to note that you shouldn’t expect immediate change if you do these exercises a couple of times and then go back to your old ways. Rebuilding a relationship takes time, especially if you’re dealing with issues like dealing with codependency in a relationship or struggling with love addiction.
That is why couples can greatly benefit from relationship coaching or attending intensive workshops aided by seasoned professionals who can help them rekindle intimacy in a healthy way.

Rebuild Your Bond With Modern Relationship Intimacy Coaching

Sometimes, a relationship can keep going downhill no matter how hard you try to maintain a healthy connection. This often happens because couples simply don’t have the time to focus on actively working on their relationship with all the distractions they have to deal with in their everyday lives. Because of this, many couples find that relationship coaching can be highly beneficial for enhancing intimacy and building lasting bonds between them.
With PIVOT, you can transform your relationship swiftly and effectively with the help of our seasoned PIVOT Advocates. In addition to our relationship coaching programs, we also offer customized couples retreats at The Glass House where you can work on your relationship with complete focus and bring about immediate change.
Why wait? Reach out to us today and make your relationship thrive!

7 Ways to Build Trust in a Relationship

Posted on February 24, 2019 by Lori Jean Glass

You’ve probably heard that trust is the foundation for strong relationships. Without it, relationships won’t grow or progress and will eventually fail.
And you probably know that trusting your partner is the most important part of your relationship.
But what happens if you’re in a new relationship and you don’t have trust yet? Or if you’ve lost trust? Can you get it back? If you’re struggling to build trust in a relationship, would an intensive workshop help?

Can A Relationship Survive When Trust Is Broken?

Before you can start building trust, you must understand what trust means for your partner and yourself. It’s essential that you communicate your expectations and thoughts and understand what your partner needs.
Building trust starts with sharing your hopes for the relationship and what you expect each other to do (or not do) to keep your love alive. Communicate openly with your partner and try to determine the best approach for your relationship. Take small steps, be patient, or try attending a building trust in a relationship intensive workshop.
Read on to learn what you can do to bring back trust!

How Do You Build Trust In A Relationship?

Losing trust is far easier than building it back up. If there has been a betrayal, you may feel like you’ll never be able to trust your partner again. Still, it is possible to re-establish trust if both parties in a relationship are willing to put in the effort. If you and your partner wish to rebuild trust and make the relationship work, you should know that it will take quite a bit of time, patience, and compromise.

Steps To Rebuilding Trust In A Relationship

Trust is an essential building block in any mature relationship. If you are determined to build a deeper and healthier connection with your partner, you will have to learn how to be comfortable around your partner again if trust has been broken. Here are 7 steps you can take to rebuild trust in your relationship:

1) Be Vulnerable

Be open and vulnerable with your partner by sharing things you often keep hidden. If you’ve been hurt in previous relationships, then it’s likely you want to avoid talking about expectations because you don’t want to be hurt again. However, the only way to make the relationship work is to be real and open.

2) Communicate Openly

If you have something important to discuss, I recommend that this is always done in person. Although using text, email or even phone calls to communicate is useful, it can lead to misunderstandings as the real meaning of the message can be misinterpreted.

3) Keep Secrets

One big way to build trust is to keep your partner’s secrets if that is requested and healthy. Treasure them. Respect them. As a couple, the relationship deserves privacy.

4) Keep Promises

Make it a priority to keep your promises to your partner. Whether it’s a small thing or a big thing, keep your commitments. This shows respect, support, and reliability, which is the key to build trust.

5) Respect Each Other’s Differences

Before you can build trust, you must respect each other’s differences without judgment. Even if you don’t understand why something is important to your partner, simply respect the fact that it is important.

6) Be Forgiving

Trusting each other doesn’t mean mistakes won’t happen. When they do, the important thing is to be forgiving. Holding onto grudges erodes trust in relationships. Instead, let go of the hurt, accept the apology and move on.

7) Be Supportive

It is critical to be supportive of each other. Being supportive allows you and your partner to be authentic knowing someone has your back. It means you can have confidence knowing you’re supported whenever you take a risk, learn new things or even make mistakes.

How Do You Trust After Betrayal?

If one of you has been betrayed in the relationship, then building trust back is very difficult, but it can be done. If you both want it. In fact, trust must be repaired for the relationship to survive.
Here are three steps that can help:

Apologize/accept an apology: when trust is broken in a relationship, the first thing to do is to acknowledge the feelings of hurt, apologize and take responsibility for what has happened. Show love, care and respect for each other. If your partner betrayed you, make an effort to accept the apology.
Promise not to hurt again: This promise must be real. A promise that must be kept. What’s more, the promise needs to be backed up with action.
Analyze feelings: If you were betrayed, then take time to analyze and understand your feelings. Don’t deny or dismiss hurt feelings. Instead, ask yourself, “How deeply am I hurt?” “How long do I want to keep this feeling of hurt?” “What do I want from this relationship?”

Trust must be earned. It takes time. Especially if there has been a betrayal. But it doesn’t have to be impossible. Approach your relationship and each other with respect and understanding. Be open. Be vulnerable. Be real. Do what you say you will do. Stay true to yourself, and your expectations and a trusting relationship will grow.

We Bring Intensive Private Couple Retreats For Reconnection

It is only when you have trust and love, that your relationship will thrive. Unfortunately, many couples struggle with overcoming intimacy issues and building a stable and trusting relationship. Everybody needs a little push from time to time, and reaching out to experienced relationship coaches may be just what you and your partner need to make the relationship work.
If you would like help to build deep trust in your relationship, then contact PIVOT. By attending a couple relationship management workshop, you will learn how to build deeper connections and rebuild trust. Our relationship intensive retreats and our relationship coaching designed for individuals and couples can give you the tools you need to facilitate lasting change. Give us a call!

5 Signs Of Lacking Trust In Your Relationship

Posted on February 12, 2019 by Lori Jean Glass

Have you been told that you have problems trusting others in relationships? Do you know if you’re difficult to please? Do you set unrealistic expectations in your relationships? Or do you avoid intimacy because you’re scared of being hurt?
If you can relate to some of these questions, then you may have challenges trusting yourself and others. Luckily, you can find the help you need to build trust in a relationship in a PIVOT workshop. With assistance from our PIVOT coaches, you’ll learn how to create healthier relationships based on trust and deep intimacy.
Keep reading to find out more about trust issues and learn how to overcome them.

What Causes Trust Issues?

Although you may desperately want love and to be loved, trust issues will make you unwilling to emotionally attach to someone because you don’t want to get hurt.
In many cases, trust issues come from past hurts that occurred in previous romantic relationships or from unhealthy family relationships during childhood. Or both. This will, of course, depend on your specific circumstances.
If you want to discover the cause of your trust issues, you should take a look at your relationship history, both with your parents and previous partners. For example, you may have developed trust issues if:

Your parents got divorced
One or both of your parents were alcoholic
You were adopted
You lost a sibling or parent
You had a history of abuse in your childhood
Your parents were emotionally unavailable
You felt neglected during your childhood
Your previous partners cheated on you
You cheated on previous partners
You have a history of low self-esteem
You are afraid of being abandoned

Many people with trust issues know they have trouble in their relationships, but don’t realize it comes from a trust problem. That is why it’s important to seek a fresh perspective from a relationship coach who can help you understand where your challenges come from and help you overcome trust issues in your relationship.

How Do I Know If I Have Trust Issues?

If you’ve been experiencing problems related to trust in your relationships, you may be confused about what a normal amount of distrust is and what constitutes severe trust issues. While many people believe that some jealousy is a normal part of relationships, you should be able to tell when too much is too much.
Healthy relationships are based on trust and intimacy. If you feel like you can’t trust your partner fully, you may still be healing from past wounds which influence your present relationships. If that’s the case, you will need to learn how to rebuild trust in order to create and maintain stable and happy relationships.

What Are The Signs Of Trust Issues?

Trust challenges can manifest themselves in a myriad of ways. Still, many people who struggle with trusting their partners have certain behavioral patterns that may indicate trust issues. Look out for the following behaviors:

1) You Are Afraid Of Commitment

Perhaps, you have challenges being vulnerable and sharing because you don’t want to get hurt again. This means your relationship is based on trust issues rather than on true feelings or real emotions.
If you have trust issues, then you are more likely to be afraid to commit emotionally, for fear of getting hurt if the relationship ends.

2) Fast, Intense Relationships That Suddenly End

You may become involved in romantic relationships quickly, but they are intense and short-lived.
You may be excited or even addicted to the newness of the relationship, but once things get familiar, your romance ends.

3) You Assume The Worst

No matter what happens, you assume the worst about your partner. If they haven’t answered their phone it’s because they’re cheating. If they’re not with you, then they must be betraying you.
Your first thought is to think you are being cheated on. You don’t consider that your partner may just be busy or catching up with family.

4) Unrealistic Expectations In Relationships

If you have trust issues, then you may be expecting perfection in your partner. You hold your partner to an impossibly high standard and won’t tolerate any imperfections.
Unfortunately, expecting perfection in someone else typically leads to sabotaging true romance from growing.

5) You Need To Be In Control

You may be challenged to allow others to be in the lead.
The reason is that you don’t want to be disappointed, so you want to stay in control… always.

How Can I Overcome Trust Challenges In A Relationship?

If you recognize any of the signs above, then know that you’re not alone. Lots of people struggle with fears of being hurt.
The good news is that you can change and break the cycle of your trust issues, so you can be safe in a relationship and not feel engulfed. Here are some tips:

Figure out where your trust issues come from and try to accept your past hurts.
Be honest about your partner about what you are looking for in a relationship.
Listen carefully to your partner’s wishes and needs.
Work together with your partner to overcome your trust challenges.
Keep your expectations in check and think before you act.

Attend The #1 Building Trust In A Relationship Intensive Workshop

The first step to overcoming trust issues is recognizing the importance of trust in a relationship and the source of your pain.

As certified relationship advocates at PIVOT, we encourage our clients to not be hard on themselves. You are not “broken” or flawed. Instead, make the decision to improve your life by learning and evolving. To do this, you need to be open to change.
One of the best ways to empower positive change is to get support and expertise from trained individuals that specialize in relationships and attachment challenges. At PIVOT, we offer effective relationship building retreats and intensive workshops for both couples and individuals.
Remember, you are worthy of happiness and love, and you do matter.
If you are ready to create meaningful connections and overcome challenges trusting yourself and others, then contact PIVOT. We’re here to help.